A very Glee christmas The Sequel
by GleekestK
Summary: What happens to finchel after the break up. Their way to deal with it...
1. Chapter 1

**A very glee Christmas, the sequel…**

I do not own any of those characters. I'm just a crazy fan…

Just a little to say that English isn't my first language so, please be tolerant…

CHAPTER 1: WHEN RACHEL SAW THE UGLY TRUTH…

Finn looked at Rachel and she smiled at him back. He answered with one of his own usual and so sweet half crooked smile.

'_Yes, there's still something there. Even though he's been quiet clear about us being over_" Rachel said.

**Flashback…**

**This is wrong Rachel. I can't forgive you. You messed me up Rachel. Can't you see how screw up I am about this. Both my girlfriends have cheated on me. You can ask Santa for me next year but I'm officially breaking up with you…**

'_Yes, there's hope. He still cares about me_" Rachel said twirling around but stopped when she saw her hope crashing next to her, crashing down on Santana.

Then Rachel realized. The smile, his half crooked smile that she loved so much had been for another, for Santana. She took a few steps back, hurt.

'_Don't let them see your cry, you're better than that_" she thought for herself, trying to convince herself but he had always had that effect on her and deep down she knew that it would never change.

Holding on her tears, she made her way in front of the giant window in Mr. Shuster's home. Then, making sure that no one was looking at her, she watched the snow falling from the sky as her tears felt on her red dress. She tried to look away, the streets, the white trees glowing with snow, the Christmas lights shining everywhere but she couldn't see past the images reflected on the window. Finn was smiling. Her Finn was throwing popcorn to Santana. He was having fun while she was in pain, tortured by those images. This vision only made her tears felt more fluently. She stayed there, a couple of minute without anyone coming to see her.

''_People only pretend to like me, don't they_." She whispered to herself washing up her tears with one of her fingers.

''_I told you before that I kind of like you but you do have a blabber mouth."_

Puck was now standing next to her holding two glasses in his hands. He held one to Rachel.

''_Don't say it to anyone but I kind of spice up the punch, the party is on his way, party puck's way. It should be fun. Look like you need liters of fun. Start by this glass and papa puck will feed you up, promises_."

Rachel shooked her head, pushing back the glass in puck's direction.

''_Thanks Noah but I'm not thirsty_'' she said as she turned herself back to the window. Then, her nightmare reappeared through the window. Not seeing that Finn's been watching her talking with puck with angry eyes and a heavy hand on punch.


	2. The End of Finnocence

**First of all, thanks for the review, hope you recognize you, really appreciated… and now, let's get to the main event…**

**Chapter 2: The End of Finnocence**

Finn and Santana were both holding a glass of punch. There were exchanging flirtatious innuendos very openly. The boy sipped all the red liquid in a long gulp.

'' _Is it getting hot in here or is it just me_." He said softly, only for Santana to hear.

''_That's because I'm hot; I always have that effect on boys._

Finn continued to drink his punch greedily, licking his lips. He couldn't help but smiling at the girl who was obviously onto him. Santana took a step closer, lifting herself on her toes.

"_Finnocence, you know, we can go somewhere else and make ourselves more comfortable_" She whispered heavily in the tall boy's hears. Hearing those words, ne nearly choked himself with his punch. Some people turned to them.

"It's ok, I'm okay" He said trying to regain his composure.

The people went back to their discussion while Santana went behind him and started to pat his back.

"_Yes, you're hot like hell_'' the boy thought a little bit too loud.

Santa had a vixen smile, obviously she had heard him.

"_It was out loud, wasn't it_? Finn said, looking at his feet.

"_Yes tiger, it was_" said the girl smiling, getting closer and closer, bringing his chin back up, forcing him to like at her, stopping close to her lips.

He couldn't help but staring intensely at the girl, barely undressing her with his eyes. Santana was looking at him like she wanted to eat him alive. It made him feel weird at first and but then really good and damn sexy. For the first time in a while, he felt confident, in control. Those words had almost made him forget the situation he was in, the break-up mess.

This thought made him stepped back, his throat still aching from the cough. Finn went to the punch bowl to get refill. God, he was so thirsty and god the punch was so delicious…

He refilled his glass and took a sip. His eyes fumbled across the room. Then it hit him like a tone of bricks. He saw Rachel and she was with Puck, again... He seemed to be comforting her. He was holding two glasses. He was standing really near the brown haired girl. No, wait I minute, I was holding her. Her face coiled on his chest. Finn saw his best friend lay down the two glasses of beverage and attach his strong and muscular arms around her. Again, he couldn't help but starring to this who pleaded for forgiveness. She loves him, right. Bullshit... With that, he took another sip of his drink.

''_You know how he comforts girls, don't you?_" Santana had just arrived near him and the punch bowl.

"_I can assure you that she's going to enjoy it. He's pretty good with little girls, Ask Quinn. I wonder if he will be able to find a way to shut her up during…_" Santana added smiling and laughing.

Finn drank all his punch and dragged Santana by the hand and brought her out of the room tipsily.

He was going to shut her up and he knew how. He knew how she could comfort him. After all, why would he deny himself a piece of ass? He wanted to have fun too, the kind of fun that Rachel was going to have with puck… She had already allowed that shithead to taste the icing of her cake and now she was going to give it all to him, cherry on top. So, why wouldn't he eat an indecent meal? He was hungry, hungry to show the girls how he could be better than puck. He was going to make the Latina forget all about Puck with big bangs of his pelvis. He was going to make her scream his name, FINN, than he would be the leader of the pack, the ladies man, worth it… Or, at least, feel like it…

He took an eager and tipsy Santana into the guestroom of Mr. Shuster house slamming the door as hard as he could behind them. He figured that, this way, Rachel would know. She would know where he was; with whom and what he was doing…He would be the first to get to revenge. He would be the one to win.

Entering the room, Santana nearly jump on him, tearing up his clothes. He answered to her devouring kiss as hard and with as more tong as he could. She nailed him on the bed, touching him everywhere her eager hands could venture. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment, the raw desire that ran through him.

When he opened his eyes, it wasn't Santana who was sitting on him, topless, it was Rachel, smiling. Then he sits up and kissed her gently, caressing her torso, her leg, her soft pale skin. He nibbled on her neck, play with her hair, took a deep breath in. He holds her close and stand still for a couple of second. Then he opened his eyes again and Santana was back on top of him with a blank expression on her face.

''Do y_ou want to fuck or what QB_?" Santana said sighing.

Finn felt queasy. He rose up, still in his boxes, and went to the bathroom who was communicating with the bedroom. He threw up. He stayed on his knees in front of the bowl for a couple of minutes. He felt ashamed. A million of questions and ideas went down his brain, or what was left of it. If he wanted to have sex with Santana so much than why did he saw Rachel's face while cuddling?

"_Rachel, always Rachel_" he thought, angrily. She was still messing his life up. But, she wouldn't mess up his sex life. He stood up and went near the door of the bedroom.

"_Maybe I shouldn't go through with this. No, you have to. Don't let her screw you. Get laid! You know she's probably screaming someone else's name right now. Enter this room and be a man, for once_." a little voice in his mind told him. He took a deep breath in… 1, 2, 3.

He opened the door. Santana was sitting on the bed, totally naked, legs half parted, holding a magazine. He couldn't move. The only part of him that moved was his little friend really wanted to say _HI_ to the Latina. Santana stood up and went near Finn. She went toward him between circling him between her and the bed. She lifted her hand on Finn's head, roughly fumbling his hair and let it make its way down till she reached a very specific region that Finn's use to call "_his pole business_". She grabbed the rigid cotton of his white underwear and dragged it down, revealing her main interest. Then, she pushed him, forcing him to lie down on the bed.

"_Now let's get down to business Frankenteen_."

Whit those words whispered huskily in his ears, she rose above the boy and started to kiss him, almost biting him. He shifted position to be on top of her rapidly, sucking at her neck. They were tossing and turning, both eager for control, fighting. It made Finn feel awkward. Was sex supposed to always be like this or was it supposed to be sweet, like a warm and tender experience, a sharing moment not a constant fight for first attacks. Santana was hot, she knew what she wanted and he knew that. But, this time, this time he wanted to feel, not to undergo sex, not that it was that dad, but, for him, it had left something to be desire.

As much as he knew what sex was like with Santa, he knew that it would have been different with Rachel. "_Rachel always Rachel_". He knew that, with sweet Rachel, it would have been like a warm and tender act and not a run to finish line.

As much as it hurt him, and it hurt him as hell, he decided to do what he wanted to avoid but what would make this crazy situation better, for him at least. He decided that he was going to have sex with Rachel. Finn shifted position to stand above Santa who was still devouring him, he extended his right arm and hand to the lamp on the coffee table near the bed and he turned out the light on Santana only to open his eyes, arms and mind to Rachel.

"_Rachel, always Rachel_"

However, what he did for better, turned for worst…


	3. Sing, little bird, sing

**Hi fellow ****glee lovers, I'm back for another spin. Thanks for the reviews, wow, plural, I couldn't have imagined it.**

**Before starting, I want to apologize for the many I found rereading my second chapter, I****'ve been too eager to publish it, won't happen again.**

**I know that this chapter could easily be mistaken for Puckelberry, but patience, everything thing comes for those who waits and who doesn't love a bit of Rock'n Roll.**

**Chapter 3**

**Sing, little bird, sing…**

Rachel continued to stare at the window, trying to see past those images that were making her heart bleed. She stood there, like a statue, for what seemed to puck like an eternity.

"_Come on say something, it's SO not like you" _said Puck dropping the glasses he was holding on the floor next to him

"_Ok, who are you and what have you done with Berry_?" He went toward her, reached out to her, putting one hand on her right shoulder. "_I don't feel like myself anymore, there is only one half of me left Noah_" she said letting her tears falling freely on her cold cheeks. "_And I know it's not the better half, I could I have been so fatuous_?"

Puck started to stroke her shoulder and moved in even closer. His hand slide down her arm to reach her hand but he couldn't take it because her arms were firmly crossed on her chest, her hands imprisoned beneath them.

"_Look at the window Noah. Don't you see what I see_" Rachel said not losing sight of the window in front of her.

"_Yeah, it must be really cold outside. Glad I brought my scarf, even though its not sexy_." said Puck pretending to shiver.

"_They really seem to have fun, aren't they?_" said Rachel sadly.

The only thing Puck saw was the wind playing with the snow flakes and twirled them around.

"_I don't think you can say that snow flaked can have fun_" said Puck asking himself if she hadn't completely lost her mind yet.

"_Are you sure you're ok Rachel_?" he asked her, concern.

Rachel's posture remained the same as if she hadn't ear what Puck had just said. She was still staring at the window, silent.

To him, she seemed really lost in her thoughts. He thought that she must have had taken a hell of blow to the head. Then Puck followed Rachel's eyes and realized that it was more a bullet to the heart.

He moved closer to the window and he finally saw what the brown haired girl was seeing. He saw Finn and Santana brushing against each other, talking, exchanging glances. Their looks, at each other, smelled like sex. He saw the cocky smile Santana was given his friend then he knew that someone was going to get laid tonight and he also knew that it would destroy someone else's heart.

"_There only talking" _he said looking at Rachel, trying to sound positive._ "It's not like they're jumping in each other's pants_".

Hearing those words, Rachel couldn't help to sob and cry even more than she already was.

"_When will you learn to shut up Puckerman_" he told himself, cursing him.

Suddenly, he took her by the waist and brought her to him. He started caressing and taping on her back while she kept crying like a baby.

"_I know it suck a big deal right now, but thing are going to get better, you'll see_." Puck said trying to comfort her. He lay down his head on hers.

She stayed rigid at first, but, few seconds later, she let herself go, she let her tears drench puck's shirt. He held her close for a couple of minutes without saying anything. He knew she needed someone right now, I had to be there for her, in the name of their commune Jew roots and even though it was their closeness that had gotten her into trouble.

There little comforting session was interrupted by the slam of a door. Both their heads turned toward the Christmas tree where almost everybody was rejoicing, and exchanging comments, whispering, a bit too loud. Blame it on punch…

"It _Looks like someone will get lucky tonight_" sang Artie exchanging crude glances with the other glee club members.

Rachel couldn't help to notice that Finn and Santana were missing. Quickly, she left puck's arm, dried her tears with a piece of puck's shirt and went straight to Artie followed closely by a very annoyed Puck.

Rachel stood in front a bubbling Artie, her arms crossed in front of her.

_Who's__ going to be a lucky man_?" Rachel asked Artie, speaking weakly.

Puck was standing behind her, making gestures to Artie not to say anything. A clever Mercedes took the lead and spoke for her friend.

"_Sam... Sam is going to be a lucky man_." said Mercedes sharply, giving a smack to Artie.

Rachel looked at her astonished.

"_Yeah, He and Quinn are going to do it tonight, Christmas present_" said Artie rubbing his shoulder.

"_Where is Finn_?" She couldn't help asking?

"_He's gone home, tired, he wanted to go to bed._" said Mercedes not so convincing.

"_And Santana_?" asked Rachel, hands on her hips.

"_She left with Brittany, didn't she, Artie?_" Mercedes said exchanging glances with Artie.

"_Yeah, I'll be meeting them after this party_." said Artie a bit too smiling.

Feeling relieved, she turned her back on them, facing Puck.

Without a word, she took his hand and guides him onto the sofa. While Artie rolled in the kitchen without Rachel seeing him.

"_I'm sorry, you must be so sorrowful, you can drench my shoulders too, go, don't retain yourself, it's my turn to be there for you_."

Puck looked at Rachel, uncertain.

"_The Quinn and Sam thing, you must feel really miserable_" The girl told him full of concern.

Then Puck realized what she was referring to and decided to fully play the game to make the lie more believable.

"_Yeah, you're right, I feel really really miserable_" he said making sure he sounded has sad as he could. He dived on her chest and pretended to sob.

"_Yeah, let it flow_" Rachel said nearly rocking Puck who was asking himself how he would get out of this one.

He didn't have to wait much longer to see the lie blow up in their faces.

It started with a knock on the door.

"_Hey guys, did you see my wallet, I think I forgot it here_."

Rachel knew his voice but it couldn't belong to who it did because Sam was suppose to be in an adjacent room, making love to Quinn. Rachel got off the sofa escaping Puck's arms who was trying to hold her there.

"_No, I left her at her house earlier and went to mine like I said I would do to the others_." Sam said not understanding the gestural that Mercedes, Artie, Mike and Tina were making behind Rachel's back.

Still on the sofa, Puck pretended to dry up his fake tears.

"_Where is Santana_?" questioned Rachel annoyed.

"_Like we said earlier, she went home with Brittany_" said Tina held from behind by Mike Chang.

"_No, I just saw Brittany a few minutes ago, she seemed to be sneaking out of the house by herself and she was going into Finn's car, I really found it weird to be honest_" Said a nervous Sam blasted the other's gaze.

"_Nice one Sam, no questioning why you're blond..._" said Artie rolling out of the room.

Without another word, Rachel took the same direction that Finn took with Santana earlier that night but didn't get to the door, Puck caught the hand before she knock on the door.

"_Don't do this, you're going to regret it_" Puck said softly, sadly.

Rachel got rid of Puck's grip and stuck her ear against the door. She listened through the door. All she could hear were weak but sharp groans and the rustling of the bed sheets, the weak squeaks of the bed. Finn. It couldn't be anyone but Finn and Santana.

Out of will and hope, she fell on her knees crying, breathing heavily. Knowing that she couldn't raise up by herself, Puck took her in his arms and brought her into the living room. He put her down and forced her to sit down on the couch and he went to take their coat.

Rachel had totally lost the notion of time and space. She felt nothing, she didn't want to feel anything either, she just wanted to wake up, wake up from this bad dream and live her happy ending with Finn. She wasn't even conscious of the others, starring at her, she didn't even heard them talking.

Then, Puck came back with his coat on. He dressed her up.

"_I'm bringing her home_" said Puck while looking for his car keys in pockets.

"_Are you sure you can handle her_" said Mercedes looking worried.

"_Yeah, I'll be fine_" sighing taking Rachel in his arms.

Mercedes went to open to door while Puck said Merry Christmas to the others, Rachel repeating like a robot after him.

Puck brought Rachel to his car and deposed her on the passenger seat. He fastened her belt and closed the door and went to the driver seat. While getting there, I saw the others watching him through the window. He saluted them and they responded. He clearly saw that they were talking but he wasn't superman to hear through walls but he could guess they were taking pity of but he didn't care. He had a job to; he needed to get Rachel home. He started the engine and, direction Rachel's casa.

He knew where her house was because he had been there a couple of weeks ago. He preferred not to think about the mess it had caused. But, the mistake had been made and it was too late to go back. They would all have to live with the consequences of their actions. Rachel was taken them pretty hard and he told himself that if he could help her now, make it more comfortable, it would be better than nothing, right.

He parked his car into the parking lot. He got off the car and went to Rachel's side and got her off too. She stood next to him, livid and without energy. He fumbled into her coat's pockets and found her keys. He lifted her up on a shoulder. He brought her to the porch as if she was a big bag of potatoes. Rachel still perched on his shoulder, he unlocked the door, opened it and got in.

Inside, darkness had swallowed the entire household. Puck told himself that her dads must have been away or fast asleep. Guiding himself with his hands clinging on the walls and holding on to his memories, he kept Rachel on his shoulder and went upstairs without too much trouble.

He slowly opened Rachel's room door and laid her down on the fluffy bed. She let herself fall heavily. He undid the bed beneath her, and peeled off her coat and her shoes. He covered her with her blanket.

Rachel continued to lay there, silent, feeling dead inside. So she decided to do the only thing that came to her empty mind, the only thing that ever made her feel alive in any situations, she sang:

_Memories, light the corners of my mind  
Misty watercolor memories of the way we were.  
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind  
smiles we give to one another  
for the way we were._

_Can it be that it was all so simple then  
or has time rewritten every line?  
If we had the chance to do it all again  
tell me would we? Could we?_

Memories, may be beautiful and yet  
what's too painful to remember  
we simply choose to forget  
_so it's the laughter we will remember  
whenever we remember  
the way we were_

Then, carefully, Puck left the room, went down the stairs and left the house to go back to his home. He knew Rachel Berry would be ok, she still could sing...

_Song: __the way we were, by Barbra Streisand._


	4. The morning after

**It's me once again and Chapter 4, here it comes. Hope you guys like it.**

**CHAPTER 4**

**The morning after**

Finn woke up the morning after, not knowing where he was.

Queen sized bed, no cow boy wallpaper, he knew he wasn't home. Still lost in his sleeps, he thought that maybe he was dreaming or something like that, picturing him a few years forward, in his future home.

But pain brought him back to reality.

"_A dream could not be that painful_" he told himself touching his forehand with the palm of his hand. His head was hurting him like crazy, as if he was receiving hammer slams on his cranial box.

He let himself fall back on the pillow but not before hurting his head on the bed post in the process. Cursing the lord's name under his breath, he rubbed the back of his head and rose up again slowly. This slight movement made him feels dizzy, so he took a few seconds to sit on the bed. Then, he realized he was topless and he felt a little breeze downstairs, on his absence of boxers.

"_God, I am naked_" he said with bulging eyes, trying to remember why he was in his birth suit. He tried to concentrate as hard as he could to remember what had happened without his brain to explode. All he knew for sure that he was naked in someone else's bed.

He knew he wasn't at Rachel's because he had been in any rooms of her house, except her father's room.

"_Weird_" he thought rubbing his forehead.

He stood up, really slowly, trying to regain his balance. Feeling a bit cold, especially in one region, he started searching for his clothes. He found them lying on the floor in every corner of the room.

"_What a night I must have had. If only I could remember_" he told himself still rubbing his head.

Once he got dressed, he sat on the bed, elbows on his knees and his head lying in the palm of his hands. Then, he closed his eyes.

Eyes closed, all he could see was Rachel laying beneath him, accompanying him in every thrust. He smiled about it almost forgetting that his head hurt him so much. He couldn't stop wondering where she was, why she had let him waking up alone. Besides their love making, he couldn't remember anything, not even their reconciliation.

Buttoning his shirt, he got off the bed and his eyes venture outside. The threes, the car outside, he knew them and it had nothing to do with Rachel's neighborhood. He knew where he was, he was at Mr. Shuster. Then, reluctantly, images of the night before stated to fly to his memory. He remembered; the party, the Christmas tree, Rachel and Puck, Santana. The facts hit him so hard that he had to lean to beside table not to fall on the floor.

He remembered that he was at Mr. Shuster where he had left the party with Santana because he had been so angry at Rachel and he and the Latina had have sex all night while he pretended that she was Rachel. Now, he could remember the facts but not his acts.

"_What I am going to do_?" he said as he felt the pain jamming on his temples.

"_First, I have to go out of here_." He said trying to find a way to get out of the house without anyone knowing that he had spent the entire night there.

Ready to go, he went out of the bedroom on tiptoe. He didn't want to answer to anyone or receiving a lecture from Mr. Shuster about premarital sex, his head wouldn't resist it.

"_It would sure solve a lot of problems_" he said to himself taking care not to do any noise.

Gently, he took is parka, his scarf, gloves and boots and put them on. He fumbled to his pocket and took his cell phone.

"_7_ _o'clock, maybe I can manage to get home without anyone knowing I slept out_." He told himself putting one hand on the doorknob, opening the door and got out of the house.

It was pretty cold outside. Finn couldn't remember a December this cold.

"_I'm lucky my mom lent me her car_." he congratulated himself, adjusting the scarf around his neck.

He began to search for his keys in his pockets, no keys. Frustrated, he emptied his pockets, throwing their content on the ground near him, but still no car's keys. Then he looked around and he noticed something even funnier, no car.

He had to resort to do the thing he wanted to avoid. He took his cell phone.

Under others circumstances, he would have called Puck but now, the bad boy was the last person he wanted to see. After last night, seeing him with Rachel, looking at them looking so cozy, it made him queasy. What a friend would do that? So, he decided to turn to the only person who wasn't at the party last night, who wouldn't asked thousands of question about a night of pleasure with Santana that he didn't even remember, the person that he thought wouldn't judge him if he'd told him what happened and how messed up he really, a person he would help him to deal with it, his brother from another mother.

He dialed the numbers and a joyful voice fills the air.

"_It's Kurt, leave me a message, bip_…."

"Hey body, i_t's me, Finn, pick up your freaking phone, I'm in deep shit_. "Said Finn really quickly, his teeth clinking together.

Without saying another words, he hung up. He stood there, a couple a minute, freezing.

"_I guess it's payback time, isn't it_?" he said angrily, looking at the clouds.

He went to sit on the sidewalk, heads in his hands.

"_How will I explain to my mom that I lost her car." _he told himself half mocking, half serious. He finally laughed when all he wanted to do was cry.

"_Calm down man it's not the time for a heart attack. Maybe someone borrowed the car, let's hope so_." he said, trying to reassure him without much success.

After half an hour, Kurt hadn't called back and he didn't feel like explaining himself to anyone, so he was about to rise up and to walk home by himself when he saw a cab coming into his direction. The car stopped in front of him. The passenger paid the driver and walked out. As the door of the car closed, the driver went away. Finn glances at the girl who had just got out of the cab; he couldn't believe his own eyes.

"_Rachel_" he asked, standing up, surprised.

The girl looked at him briefly then looked at her feet and brought her face back up. Seeing him so soon, made her realized how screwed up she was. She wanted to be mad, furious at him but sadness and longing were going through her veins to.

"_Finn_" she whispered softy avoiding his gaze.

The boy couldn't help noticing the dark circles under her eyes. Even if it was making him pretty nervous to see her, he risked a question.

"_What are you doing here so early_" he said, gently, staring at his feet.

She asked herself what to answer to that question but much more than answering to his question; she wanted his answer to that same question. She wanted to know if he was going to tell her the truth or not.

"_I could return the question_?" she replied trying to sound the as severe as she could.

She was talking to him. To Finn, it sounded like, at least, the start of something and he wanted to take advantage of the situation, but he wasn't ready to tell her the truth.

"_I passed up at Mr. Shuster. I slept there and I am waiting for Kurt to pick me up_." He answered not looking her in the eyes.

"_Good idea stay hazy if you don't want her to kill you, be clever for once_." He told himself trying to look at her frankly.

"_I came here to get my car back. Puck brought me back home last night. I didn't feel too well_" she replied to Finn who shuddered of disgust at the mention of puck's name. God he wanted to punch the guy right now but it wouldn't help him get his girl back. He decided to try to make her laugh; hopping it would change her mood even a little and open a path of peace he could take.

"_Had too much punch?_" said Finn trying to sound joking.

"_No, too much cried actually_" replied Rachel a bit irritated.

"_I'm sorry Rachel__, you know, for all this situation we're in, you know_" said Finn softly, getting closer to her.

Rachel took a few steps back, forcing her face to remain impassive.

"_Is that all you wanted to tell me_?" asked Rachel, crossing her arms on her chest.

"_Sorry is everything I am right now, sincerely_." replied Finn sadly not looking her in the eyes.

"_Sorry about what_?" Rachel replied abruptly.

"_Sorry about breaking up with you._" said Finn making another attempt to get closer to her. This time, he even tried to caress her cheek.

"_I __want you back Rachel, I love you, never stopped_." He said leaning in to kiss her, but he was stopped by Rachel harsh words.

"So,_ you love me and you want to get back with me but still you went to Santana, you humiliated me once more by sleeping with her and you weren't about to tell me about it_?" she said, not moving an inch.

Finn took a few steps back, mouth widely opened.

"_You know_?" he asked, hesitating.

"_I know, I was there, remember_" Rachel said, angry

"_As a matter of fact I don't_" he said, feeling so ashamed.

"_Too bad, you don't even know if it was worth it_" Said Rachel starring at him.

"_Please forgive me Rachel_" said Finn raising his head to finally look at her straight in the eyes, his chocolate gaze drowning in tears.

"_I forgive you for Puck, you got to forgive me_." He said sincere.

"_I am not sure I can forgive you Finn_" she said looking at him, her eyes filling with tears too, when she saw how sad and heartfelt Finn was, it broke her heart even more.

"_Not now, anyway_" she added drying a tear that was threatening to fall.

A half crooked smile rose on Finn's face when Rachel said her last sentence. So, he reached out and, at his surprise, she let him take her hand. Even though they were surrounded by snow and coldness, a rush of heat was going from his hand straight to his heart. So, he went closer to the girl he loved and leaned in to kiss her. She let that kiss happen. Even if she would have wanted to pull back, she wouldn't have been able to. Their lips were attracting each other's like two magnets irrevocably drawn together. She let him kiss her, gently, chastely. Her mind wanted her to push him away but she couldn't stop her heart from wanting his. After a couple of seconds, she forced herself back and pushed him away very hardly and she stepped back.

"_You can and have hurt me so much Finn. You're the only one who can make me feel this way. You can make me feel so alive and so empty in a matter of seconds_." She said, tears falling down her cheeks.

"_We both need time to heel, then, when we still both be whole, we will be able to love, to really love each other._ "She said to a dumbfounded Finn.

"_For now, I'm sorry but no, I won't get back with you, as much I would want to_…" she said looking at him straight in the eyes.

Finn had listened to Rachel hoping that she would agree to put the past behind them, forgive and forget, but it was not what was happening. In fact, he was getting a cold shower, he was pushed away further. It hurt him, stunk him to his really core. And he defended him with the best tactic he found, attack…

"_You never really loved me, did you_? That's why it took so long for you to tell me." He said holding his tears and looking really pissed.

"_You can't really doubt my love for you. For 2 years I've loved you with every fiber of my being_" she said walking toward him, starting to hit him on his chest with one of her finger.

"_You never told me_" he accused her.

"_No, but I showed you, what you never truly did. Words are easy Finn but action and constancy are harder_." said Rachel getting really angry.

"_What_?" said Finn not sure he had heard right.

"_You said many times that you loved me, but your actions did make me think otherwise sometimes. There were times when you let me down Finn._" She said looking at him, getting calmer.

"_You talk like_ _you haven't done anything wrong_?" he said speaking a little bit louder than he wanted to.

"_No, I made mistakes, and I will continue to do so, nobody is perfect. We can't continue to play the game; you hurt me, I hurt you Finn, and this is a childish game. We should be able to talk through this, not constantly punishing each other_." She said trying to take his hand but he didn't let her to so. He stepped even more away from her, angry, sad, in pieces.

"_We both need to grow up before getting together again. Learn who we are and what we really want besides being Glee club co-captains. It's going to be better for both of us." _She told him getting closer to him. It just made him stepped back even more.

"_You sound so harsh, so rational, it's not like you._" Finn said, arms crossed on his chest, straight face.

"_If we want to have another chance someday, we have to. I have to detach myself from being only Finn's girl, I have the become Rachel Berry again and it's because I can't see myself without you in my life that why I'm ready to do so and because_…"

"_Don't say it is because you love me, you clearly don't cause if you did you wouldn't put me through this_." He said merely shouting at her.

"_You can't imagine how difficult it is for me, you don't know I much I care about you Finn. Don't you see that it's the only way to salvage our relationship_? "

"_What relationship? You're destroying what we have_."

"_Before love there's friendship, we have to become friends again, before we rush into something more. I want you to stay in my life. I need to, I have too_. I know it's going to be difficult but I am willing to try, for our sake." She said softly getting closer to him.

Finn turned his back on her. His world was crashing down, at least, the world as he had learned to live in and to love. Friendship, no, he didn't want friendship from her, he wanted crazy, frenzy Rachel kissing him, making out with him and he wanted it now. He couldn't stand being away, being alone. Friendship would be hard.

Rachel didn't know what to add, everything had been said. Finn was turning his back on her and hadn't responded yet. The more she thought about it, the more she knew it was the best way to behave. They needed stronger bases and she trusted faith to be their guide.

Finn turned around again and walked toward Rachel.

"I'll try to be f_riends Rachel, but I don't know if I can._"

Rachel took his hand.

"_That's all I asked._" she said half smiling.

They held hand for couple of minute, both not wanting to let go of each other's. Rachel softened her grip and let go of his hand.

"_And as my first duty as your friend, can I give you a ride to your home_."

Finn knew that it would be better for both of them if he declined her off. Therefore, the sky was getting clearer and the time more mild. It would be great time for a walk and he knew that he had so many things to think about, such as a new reality to picture him in.

"_Thanks but I think I'll walk, I think it will do me good_."

"_As you wish_." She replied, stepping away and turning its back on him. She took a few steps and turned to face him.

"_Take care of you Finn_" she said looking at him, holding her tears.

Without a word, Finn almost ran to her and took her in his arms and held her tight. He breathed in, inhaled her scent, taking time to remember it. The stayed there, holding each other, in the middle of the road, for couple of minutes but to them, time had stopped. Then, they stepped back, loosen their embrace, and started at each other tenderly, already longing. Rachel couldn't help crying and she knew she had to get away before acting on passion.

"_Bye Finn, Happy new year. We'll see each other at school._" she said, not whipping her tears away. She kissed him on the cheeks and merely ran to her car, leaving Finn speechless.

He stayed there, unmoving, watching her get into her car and go back to her house.

Then, he cried in silence, letting his tears mixing with the one's she had left on his cheeks when she friendly kissed him goodbye. He felt so sad, so low. He needed to let it out so he began to run after her car. As he lost sight of Rachel's car, he started to sing:

_Whoa Im  
Missing you_

The hurt on your heart  
Through your eyes it shows  
The past can't relive  
What we both know

Still I remember  
Things I'll never miss  
Memories surround me  
Won't let me forget

I was so wrong  
The secrets not worth keeping  
I had no faith that you would still believe  
No now  
My heart is in your keeping  
Here I am  
Missing you

Missing you

Feeling the dark  
Stares from my wall  
Your eyes in your picture  
Won't let me go

If I could remember  
How you felt the pain  
The king of pretenders  
Alone in shame

I was so wrong  
The secrets not worth keeping  
I had no faith that you would still believe  
No now  
My hearts in your keeping  
Here I am  
Oh here I am  
Missing you  
Missing you  
Whoa I'm  
Missing you

You were there  
And now I'm here  
You gave much more than I did  
I gave what I had to give  
If I could you know I would  
I'd make it up to you instead I'm  
Missing you

In the place you used to be  
You were lying next to me  
Oh I'm  
Missing you  
Whoa I'm  
Missing you

**Song: Missing you by Steve Perry.**


	5. Strength

Chapter 5

Strength

Rachel started her car and drove away without looking one last time at Finn who stood still not so far from the car She knew if she did that she would have forgotten her resolutions and she would have jump at his neck, kiss him, forgive and forget, but she knew she had to stick to what she had decided during her sleepless night the night before. She forced herself to remain impassive. She had to refrain herself even more when she saw a shadow, far behind the car, running after it. Even if she wanted to remain cold as ice, her heart was melting. She slowed down but regained her composure before stopping completely.

"_I have to stay strong, even if it is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. I've taken a good decision regarding this situation, it's time I start to think a little bit more with my head, and not only out of love for him." _She said, trying to focus on the road and not on the silhouette that was now walking behind her car in the middle of the road.

Never in her life had she done something that hard, saying goodbye to her first love, even if she knew it would be short-term separation. It was the best thing for them. She could relearn how to live without her favourite boy and he would be able to sort out the feelings he had for her. She believed him went he said he loved her but, quite frankly, she always thought that she loved him more than he loved her. Furthermore, he had some thinking to do about Santana and other things to sort up even if he wasn't even aware of them yet. She knew what he did would have consequences and he needed to face them on his own. She would gladly help him if he'd asked her but he needed to learn through it, even if it was painful, in the same way she would have to learn things on her own. It would be a tough road but, a necessary one for both of them.

She tried to stay focused, looking straight in front of her but she had have difficulty concentrating on the road with all of thoughts going on in her mind. Usually, music did calm her but the only cd she had in her car was a homemade cd of all the songs they sang together, on or off the glee club. She knew it would be better if the cd stayed where he was. She needed to stay true to her vows, not seeking even more into depression listening to the best moments of her life. Although, she really needed to calm herself, so she turned on the radio. She continued to drive until the next red light. Then, she got struck by the song.

She stayed there, unable to press on the accelerator or to make a single move, her hand clutching tightly the steering wheel until she heard be loud horn. She regained consciousness and looked at the light, it was now green. She asked herself how long she has been there. She didn't know. She was so caught in the song that she had lost track of time. She drove a little bit further and parked her car along the road, captivated by the song filling the air.

She sank deep into her seat and took the lyrics in, swallowing them. Quickly, tears appeared on her cheeks and she let them fall freely. Few seconds later the song ended but she stayed there like she had been hit by a train. She had drunk the lyrics and it tasted so much like Finn's lips. The song left her heavyhearted and she had to do something about it or she would die, drowning in her tears. She had to deal with it, deal with it Rachel Berry's way. She knew exactly what she had to do.

She started her car and accelerated quickly. She went home as fast as she could, burning 2 red lights and a stop. Once there, she parked the car in the driveway and ran to the door. She opened it, went upstairs, took her camera and tripod in her wardrobe, came back downstairs and got out of the house. She got back into her car and settled the camera and the tripod next to her in the passenger seat. She fastened her belt and put the key in the switch to start the engine. Her phone suddenly rang as the engine started. She looked the id on her phone and found it was Puck calling. She decided to take the call, even thought she was in a hurry. After all, she didn't thank him for last night. She pressed on the talk button and Puck spoke first.

"_Are you ok Berry_" he said, concern in his voice.

"_I've been better, but I will survive, thanks for your concern and thank you for last night_" she added gently.

"_I wasn't going to get another jew doubled with most talented singer lose her mind by herself_" he said, trying to sound comforting.

"_Thanks Puck, I really appreciate it but I don't have much time, I need to go somewhere_." She said expeditious

"_Where_?" asked Puck curious.

Rachel wasn't sure she wanted to tell Puck about her plan but she finally decided to trust him.

"_School_" replied Rachel in a hurry.

"_Why are you going there? What do you have to do that's so important that you have to go to school during the holiday_?" asked Puck.

"_Sing. I have to sing_." said Rachel.

"_Can't you sing at home_?" he replied.

"_Actually I can't but I'll tell you why another day. I really have to go_."

Rachel was expecting Puck to say goodbye but he surprised her.

"_Ok. I'm meeting you there, you sound quite intense. I won't let you go alone_." He replied, promptly.

"_I think you're right, maybe I shouldn't be alone right now. Meet me in the parking lot in 10 minutes_." said Rachel before hanging up throwing her phone in the passenger seat.

She started the car and went in direction of William McKinley High School.

She entered the parking lot and went parking her car in her usual spot. She got off and went to the passenger's side to get her stuff. Then, she saw a car entering the parking lot and stopped a few meters from her car. The engine of the other car stopped and Puck got off and went straight to Rachel.

"_Let me help you_." he said taking the tripod from her.

"_Thanks Puck_" she said half smiling.

"_So, you want to do this here, in the parking lot_." He said, in a suggestive way.

"_No, I have to get into the auditorium_." answered Rachel very seriously.

"_You_ _know the doors are closed, right_" he replied, unsure.

"_Yeah, but there must be someone inside, a security guard, who can open the doors for me and let me spend few minutes in, that's all I need_." said Rachel, sounding quite desperate.

"_You really need to get in_?" asked Puck.

"_Yes Puck, It's a matter of life and dead_." She said almost crying.

"Ok_. Let bad ass Puck help you out. There's a door I can easily unlock with a pin, but we will have to be careful_." said the bad boy smiling at the thought of breaking laws.

Rachel followed Puck quietly to a door near the gymnasium. Puck succeeded quite easily to unlock the door as promised. Then, they both walked slowly and noiseless until they reach the unlocked auditorium doors. They made their way to the stage, getting on it. Puck opened the lights and Rachel placed the tripod in front of her. As she was going to push the record button, Puck came near her and took the camera of the tripod.

"_Don't you think it would better if I film it._" asked Puck.

"_I would certainly make the sequence more moving, more reel_." replied Rachel, smiling at Puck. She didn't know that Puck could be so thoughtful.

"_When you're ready, Berry, 1-2-3, action..._" said Puck filming her.

Rachel stayed there a couple of seconds, eyes closed. She took a deep breath and reopened her eyes. Then, lost in the moment and in the emotions the song made her feel, she saw Finn sitting on the front row. She wanted to sing to this imaginary Finn what she felt but couldn't say, not yet. Then, she opened her mouth and her voice filled the room and she emptied her heart on the stage like she so loved to do.

_The first time ever I saw your face  
I thought the sun rose in your eyes  
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave  
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,  
To the dark and the empty skies._

The first time ever I kissed your mouth  
And felt your heart beat close to mine  
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird  
That was there at my command, my love  
That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you  
I felt your heart so close to mine  
And I knew our joy would fill the earth  
And last till the end of time my love  
It would last till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face, your face,  
your face, your face

She sang the song whishing that, one day, she could really sing it to him.

_Song : First Time Ever I Saw Your Face__ by Roberta Flack_


	6. Foe and Friend

**Chapter 6**

**Foe and Friend.**

Finn walked home. He had never felt so alone in his life. He had regained a so dear friend, but friendship was definitely not what he wanted from Rachel. He wondered how he could manage to only being friend with the girl he loved. He wanted his other half back. He couldn't believe she had pushed him away, claiming to still love him.

"_If she really loved me, she wouldn't be acting like this_." He kept repeating again and again in his messed up mind.

But, if he wanted to prove her wrong, he would have to play the friend part as sincerely as he could. He hoped it wouldn't be for too long, he didn't know how long he could wear his mask on.

He kept walking for few more minutes but stopped when he arrived at his house's fence.

"_How will I get into the house without awaking the household_." He asked himself, scratching his head and approaching the porch on tip toe.

When he reached the door, he fumbled into his coat's pockets, as silently as he could, he took his keys, put it in the lock, unlocked the door and entered the house. Voices were coming from the kitchen. His family was eating breakfast.

At the thought of eating, his stomach turned upside down and the felt queasy but regained his balance quickly.

"_If I'm lucky, I'll get to my room without anybody noticing I didn't came home last night_." He said, trying to convince himself that one thing would go his way.

Really cautiously, he removed his boots, his coat and went toward the stairs, climbing 2 of them. The stairs cracked under his feet. Seconds later, he saw Kurt coming his way. Finn smiled at him weakly asking him silently to shut his mouth but Kurt had another agenda.

"_Hey Finn, how was your night?"_ he said as loud as he could, looking at him, stamping, pissed.

Finn saw his mother and her new husband rushing into the living room. They looked really pissed too.

"_I should have known__ I wouldn't get out of this one_." The tall boy said to himself, going down the stairs to face his mother.

"Finn _Hudson, where were you for god's sake. I've been so worried about you._" said Carole Hudson, tearful with anger.

"_I was at Mr. Shuster's house and I called Kurt to warn him._" he replied softly, looking at Kurt, pleading him to confirm his story.

Carole's and Burt's faces turned to Kurt who was still starring at Finn, half smiling, while Finn was gesturing Kurt to lie for him behind their parent's back.

"_Sorry, brother dear I didn't get your call_." Kurt replied still half smiling, his arms crossed on his chest.

The couple's eyes came back on a desperate Finn who stopped his gesture before his mother could see him.

"_I was pretty worried Finn. I heard someone parking the car in the middle of the night. I waited for you, to wish you goodnight. I went to your room a couple of minutes later and you weren't there." _said Carole, very disappointed by her son's behavior.

"_The car is back_!" he said loudly, before realizing the words had come out loud. He knew he had stumbled, big time.

His mother went closer to him.

"_You had lost the car_?" she replied, crossing her arms on her chest, not believing what she was hearing.

Finn knew he had to find something and find it fast to get out off this jam. He knew he had to lie, lies were his only chance to get out of there alive.

"_No_" he said, forcing a smile, almost laughing nervously. "_A friend borrowed it_." He said, a little bit too joyfully to make his story more believable.

"_Who_?" asked her mother, suspiciously.

Finn sighed, knowing he would have to bog down in his lies deeper. He thought at the most convenient name to say, a name his mother would accept without more questioning and, even if he didn't want to use his name, especially now, he decided to do it even if Puck wasn't his friend anymore, but nobody in this house knew it...

"_Puck needed it and I lent him the car_." He said, trying to sound convincing.

His mother's gaze was getting a little softer and her head dropped down a little.

"_Don't Puck has his own car_?" asked Kurt, looking at Finn, still half smiling.

Finn gave a questioning look at Kurt, requesting him to leave him alone. Finn didn't understand why Kurt was so hard on him. In other circumstances, he would have asked him right away but now he couldn't. All he wanted to do was to get upstairs, in his bed and sleep. But, if he wanted to get his wish, he had to find something that his mother would buy for sure.

"_Yes, he has his own car, but his mother needed it and he preferred to lend it to her than to take it for himself, so he asked me for mine and I lent it to him. That's what friends to for each other_." He said, faking a smile.

"_Yeah, you guys are really GOOD FRIENDS_." Kurt added, looking straight at Finn and emphasized on "good friends".

Everyone turned to Kurt who was still looking at Finn expressionless.

Finn was really pissed at Kurt. He wondered why his friend was on his case so much and he knew that Kurt wouldn't help him getting out of this mess. He would only add salt to the wounds.

"_I hope you enjoyed your night Finn_" said Kurt driving another pile in Finn's coffin, returning to the kitchen.

Finn's mouth dropped at Kurt's last comment. He realized that Kurt probably knew. He probably knew about the whole situation and he didn't even care enough to help him. It was the last thing he would have imagined coming from Kurt. He really thought they had a great brotherhood going on even though they were coming from pretty far. Obviously, he was wrong. Lost in his mind, he didn't see his mother getting closer to him.

"_Are you ok, honey? You look hill_." said his mother, putting her hand on her son's forehead, whipping some sweat.

"_You should go get some rest, but don't you think you're out of trouble young man. We'll talk_ _about this later_." She added, crossing her arms on her chest once more.

"_Thanks mom, I really need to get some sleep_." Finn nodded sadly. "_Mr Shuster's couch was kind of uncomfortable_." He added, to sound more convincing.

"_Poor little boy_." said Kurt's voice coming from the kitchen.

Finn sighed at Kurt's last comment, tired to be bashed on.

"_Don't you want to eat first, honey_?" said her mother, gently.

"_Thanks mom, but I am not hungry_." replied Finn, feeling queasy at the simple thought of food.

Carole's and Burt's mouths dropped open.

"_He really must be sick if he skips breakfast_." said Carole looking at her husband then looking at her son climbing the stairs painfully.

Once upstairs, Finn decided to take a shower before getting to bed. He felt dirty thinking about the night before. He stayed under the hot water for half an hour, washing his body meticulously. He came out of the shower and took his pajama that awaiting him near the toilet bowl from the previous morning. He put it on, went out the bathroom and entered his bedroom. Once in, he startled, nearly jumping, when he realized there was someone waiting for him.

"_Feeling less dirty_?" asked Kurt, sitting, legs crossed, on Finn's bed.

He looked at Kurt, trying to stay calm.

"_I have nothing to tell you. You could have helped me earlier, but you just kept pushing me under water. What did I do to you_?" Finn said firmly

"_That's true. You haven't done anything wrong to me and as a peace offering, I even brought you a present_." said Kurt, leaning next to the bed and came back up holding a platter of food.

Seeing the platter, Finn got nauseous and went straight into the bathroom. He stayed there for at least 10 minutes, throwing up. When he came back to his room, Kurt was still there, arms crossed on his chest.

"_Feeling better, Brother dear_." Kurt said, sarcastically.

Finn looked at him angrily, whipping his lips with one of his sleeve.

"_I hope you feel as empty as Rachel must be right now_." Kurt said with a hint of malice.

Finn's mouth dropped.

"_You know_! _Who told you_?" asked Finn dazed.

"_Mercedes called me last night, after Rachel's break down. I don't know if she is ok, she hasn't returned my calls yet_" said Kurt, a bit worried.

"_You called her, but you didn't take my call this morning, although I was desperate_." Said Finn taken aback from his friend behavior.

"_Let's say I feel for the girl and little less for you_." Replied Kurt, harshly.

Finn couldn't believe his own ears. Kurt was taking Rachel's side over his.

"_Whatever. You know what Kurt, It's my life and I can do whatever I want with it. You are not my mother and since when are you and Rachel such good friends_. " He replied hurt.

"_We had our moments this year, I grew very fond of her_." Add Kurt not loosing his tone.

"_Since you like her and despise me so much, you'll be happy to hear that she's handling things much better than I am_." Finn said, sitting on the bed next to Kurt.

"_You saw her! When_?" asked Kurt, surprised by what Finn had just told him.

"_I saw her this morning, when a left Mr. Shuster's house._ _She had came back to get her car_." said Finn sadly.

"_Yeah, Mercedes told me that Puck brought her back home because she was so out of it that she couldn't walk or talk, imagine drive..._" said Kurt, starring at Finn, still mad.

Finn felt more sad and more ashamed thinking about how he had made Rachel feel.

"_What did she tell you? Did she beat the crap out of you? I would have_." replied Kurt.

"_She looked weird to me, calm, coping, not like the Rachel we know. I told her I wanted her back_." said Finn fighting back his tears.

"_You did what_!" asked Kurt not believing what he was hearing.

"_I told her that I loved her and that I wanted us back together_." said Finn, hardly.

"_And…_" asked Kurt, on the edge of his seat.

"_Look at me Kurt! Do you really think she did_?" said Finn sighing, looking at Kurt.

Kurt looked at Finn, speechless. He wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't heard it from Finn's mouth. Rachel had said no to Finn. How was it possible? Maybe she wanted more, something different, maybe...

"_I would have done anything to get her back but she pushed me away. She told me she loved be and added that she wanted us to be friends. Friends. I don't want to be her friend Kurt, I love her_." He said looking at the other boy.

"_Maybe it's a good thing_." Kurt replied to Finn tapping the tall boy's shoulder.

"_How can you say that only being friend with Rachel is a good thing? Don't you see how much it affects me_?" said Finn sadly.

"_It means that she still cares about you, that she still has strong feelings for you, she wants you in her life. What is surprising though is that she didn't kill you with her bare hands_." Kurt took a deep breath.

"_I think you guys need time to sort out those feelings you have for each other. Be patient! Show her how you feel. Stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Trust her; she's not a little doll that honesty and truth can break. Love her, flaws and all. Be there for her when she needs you_." whispered Kurt gently.

"_How do you know all this_?" said Finn looking at him mesmerized. "_Did you speak to her_?" he added suspiciously.

"_Don't forget that I am an honorary girl Finn. Also, I truly think that if I were a girl I would be Rachel Berry. We have a lot in common_. Furthermore, I once had those feelings that she has for you and that's how I would have wanted you to win me back if he were in her shoes now." Kurt added pensive.

Finn looked at him, uncomfortable, not sure how to react to Kurt's last assessments.

"_God Finn, I'm not hitting on you. We are way passed this. I'm only helping you. Stop being so immature! Grow up_!" He said getting off the bed and heading out the room.

"_Where are you going_?" asked Finn who wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone.

"_You need to do some thinking and I have things to do who are much more enjoyable than to hear you weep, brother dear_." Kurt said sincerely smiling.

"_More seriously, you need to get some sleep Finn and if you want to talk after your cure, I'll be happy to listen to you_." Said Kurt to Finn, kindly, leaving the room.

"_Hey, Kurt_" called Finn.

"_Yes_" replied Kurt appearing in the door frame.

"_Thanks a lot_" smiling at him.

"D_on't thank me! Listen to me_!" replied Kurt before disappearing for good.

"_I'll try_." He answered to himself, whispering. After all, It was all he could do.

When Kurt left, Finn went to close the door of his room and went back to his bed, laid down on it and closed his eyes. He tried to sleep but kept tossing and turning. He was really tied but his mind couldn't stop juggling with the words that Rachel and Kurt had told him. He knew he would have to change his behavior to get her back and he hoped he would be able to do it because he couldn't see his life without Rachel Berry.

Thinking about the situation he was in, a song popped in his head. He started to hum its beat and finally started to sing it to the picture lying on the table beside his bed.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
And tell you I set you apart  
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start  
Running in circles, coming in tails  
Heads on a science apart_

Nobody said it was easy  
It's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be this hard  
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
Pulling the puzzles apart.  
Questions of science, science and progress  
Don't speak as loud as my heart.  
Tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,  
Oh, when I rush to the start  
Running in circles, chasing tails  
coming back as we are.  


_Nobody said it was easy  
It's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy.  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start._

Finn fell asleep after singing the song for the third time, holding onto the picture he was singing to, a picture of Rachel and him after their lost at Regionals, one of the best moment of his life.

**Song: The Scientist by Coldplay. **


	7. Prey or Predator

**Hi everybody! I hope you like my story as much as I have fun writing it. This chapter is shorter and doesn't talk about OUR favourite couple but it's going to spice up the story. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Chapter 7**

**Prey or Predator**

A couple of blocks away from the Hudson's household, Santana Lopez woke up, for the second time; all dressed up in her cheerios's uniform. She felt weird though. She felt cold compared to the first time she had woken up althoughshe was dressed this time around.

From her first wake up, she remembered opening her eyes lying in someone else's bed, naked, a warm body intertwined with hers, holding her gently. Still half sleeping, she yawned and smiled caressing the long arm that was holding her. She turned herself softly to face him and realized who it was, remembering what happened last night.

She had seen Finn's face smiling while sleeping, holding onto her as she had moved slightly. She had stopped moving, trying to remain as motionless as she could for Finn to loosen his grip. Then, she had gotten out of bed as quietly as she could, had dressed herself back into her uniform that had been lying on the floor next to the bed. She had really hoped that nobody would see her getting out of the room. Fortunately for her, the house had seemed to be empty, everybody had already gone home. So, she had left the house on tiptoe and had gone home half awaken. Once home, she had gone to her room, had jumped in her bed with her clothes still on and had fallen asleep immediately.

The clock now indicated noon. She sat on her bed, remembering things, more and more. Remembering how Finn had taken her hand aggressively and had brought her in the guest room, where the celebration had slowly started but had become something she would remember, even if she didn't totally want to admit it.

Yes, Finn had had a false start but he had nicely accelerated in the curves and made her scream out for more a couple of times to be exact. She remembered how gently he had laid her into bed and made love to her.

No! She couldn't have said that! They had not made love, they had sex, she had never made love to anyone and nobody had ever made love to her. But, one second, she really asked herself. Was it possible? Was it possible that he could be so into her? No. It wasn't. Or maybe! After all, she was the one he gave his V-Card to...

She couldn't stop thinking about the way he had been with her, kissing her gently, taking his time during the act, like he was savouring every time their skin's met, slowing her jerky movements, making sure she would enjoy herself, 3 times in a row, maybe four, she couldn't remember exactly. She had to stop herself from thinking of her previous crazy night with Finn. She knew who she had to call to make her forget about boy trouble, she needed a man...

So, she took her cell phone from the desk next to her bed, dialled a familiar number and sat back on her bed. It rang, rang, rang and rang. Tired to wait, she hung up, impatiently. She decided to finally text him. She had to see him and the sooner, the better.

"_Need sex now, bring your ass here right now Puckerman_" she texted.

She threw the phone on her the far end of the bed and let herself fall roughly backward and landed on a pillow, sighing. She wanted Puck now. She really had to think to something else, to distract herself from her rising silly thoughts. Puck was a sex god but for love he sucked and sex was all she wanted and nothing more.

Closing her eyes, she couldn't stop herself from thinking to the bliss she had tasted the night before. The way his had caressed her, the way his eager lips had sucked on her neck, her shoulder... She opened her eyes, getting more and more upset and turned on by the thoughts that were going on in her head.

She kept starring at the phone, wishing, so desperately, for it to ring and put her mind at ease, to set back her beliefs the way they were before, before last night...

She waited for two hours for that freaking phone to ring but it never did.

"_You don't know what you are missing_." She said to herself as she went to look through her bedroom's window.

"_I am better without you anyway. I'll find someone else to fill your shoes easily_." she added, looking at the snow that was still falling gently on the threes.

It made her dove back to night before, their arriving to Mr. Shuster's house, the celebrating and Finn, his warm body, his large hands, his soft lips... Finn again...

"_God, why can't I think to something else, someone who can help me climb the social ladder_?" She said sighing, sitting on the bed.

She wanted to get last night out of her head, to forget the way Finn had made her feel, memories she wasn't able to forget, for unknown reasons, she knew she had to find a way to turn it around or she would go crazy.

Then, the answer popped into her head. The response to her request and a way to get to experiment a theory, a body... The answer was in front of her the whole time; Finn was her solution. If she couldn't get him out of her head, she would get into his.

She decided that she would get Finn. Sure, he was dumb as a fish, but she didn't really mind as long as she could control him and his joystick. He was the quarterback and she was the hot and sexy cheerleader. She thought that they were so much hotter together than Ken and Barbie, the perfect little couple, so boring, so last year...

She would have fun with Finn. Moreover, she would be queen of school, queen of glee club, replacing annoying Rachel Berry, and queen of in his bed. She would do what it takes to assure that. Soon, she would have a new beginning, a new throne, a new sex toy. What else could she ask for?

At the thought of all the goods she was going to get, she smiled. She got out of bed and started to dance. She put the radio on and started to sing, accompanying Rihanna through the verses.

_I want you to love me, like I'm a hot pie  
Keep thinkin' of me, doin' what you like  
So boy forget about the world cuz it's gon' be me and you tonight  
I wanna make your bed for ya, then imma make you swallow your pride_

_Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world  
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love  
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart  
Only girl in the world…  
Like I'm the only one that's in command  
Cuz I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man_

_Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world  
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love  
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart  
Only one…_

_Want you to take me like a thief in the night  
Hold me like a pillow, make me feel right  
Baby I'll tell you all my secrets that I'm keepin', you can come inside  
And when you enter, you ain't leavin', be my prisoner for the nigh_

_Take me for a ride  
Oh baby, take me high  
Let me make you first  
Oh make it last all night_

_Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world  
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love  
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart  
Only girl in the world…  
Like I'm the only one that's in command  
Cuz I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man  
Only girl in the world…  
Girl in the world…  
Only girl in the world…  
Girl in the world…_

Santana stopped singing when the song ended. She had never been so anxious to get back to school and to start the show. But first, she had a prey to track down. She had a plan to establish but she knew she would get what she wanted. She was going to hit hard, but she knew he wouldn't mind because, after all, he was a boy, a boy who wanted to feel like a man and, that, she could do and she would have so much fun in the process.

**Song: Only girl and the world by Rihanna**


	8. Double date?

**Chapter 8**

**Double date?**

The Holiday vacations were almost over. The New Year had started sadly for Rachel. They were only January fourth and already, she had to work hard to keep her resolutions. If she had listened to herself, she would have gone to Finn's home, jumped at his neck and never let go. But, rationally, she knew she couldn't do it, it was too soon and the wound too fresh. Sure, she had imagined them making up a million times in her head but she knew that things would be different when she would face him for reel. She knew that seeing him was going to be difficult, that a mix of pain, sadness and longing would fill her heart. Even despite those feelings, she didn't think that she would be able to see him only as a friend. They were so much than that…

She knew that she'd want to feel his large hand covering, protecting her tiny one. She knew she'd want to feel his warmth next to her and his lips kissing hers once and again.

No, she clearly wasn't ready to face him. If the only thought of Finn was making her wish those things, what would the real thing be? She knew she wasn't ready for that, she wasn't strong enough yet.

"_Will I ever be_?" she said to herself sighing.

Fortunately, she hadn't been totally alone during the holidays. Every night, she had her clandestine meetings with Noah at school. Every night, she had gone singing at the auditorium, her sanctuary, the only place where screaming out loud her feelings for Finn was allowed.

Noah was kind to her, very friendly. In fact, he was the only friend she had except for Kurt but she wasn't really at ease to talk to him about her issues, because he was indeed living with them…

She could talk of anything with Noah even though she wasn't sure that he understood what she was saying every times but he had been an comprehensive ear to talk to and a broad shoulder to cry on and he had been there every times she had needed it.

She had even tried to make him talk about the whole Quinn and Beth thing, but when the few times she had attempted to do it, he had just smiled falsely and said that he was fine, that Quinn had done the good thing by giving her up, that her decision had simplified all their lives and that was the way he liked his, simple.

He had never talked much during their meetings except to make silly jokes, often with sexual overtone. She really hoped he wasn't awaiting anything more from her than friendship, because she knew that she would not be able to give it to him. She knew her heart belonged with Finn no matter how much complicated their story was. She really didn't want to be a source of pain to him who had been such a great friend to her. She knew that she would have to clear it out eventually but she didn't want to do it now, now she needed her rock. She knew she was being a selfish brat by asking such a thing, but that was what she had always been, a self-centered person. Sure, Finn had changed her a little, but he was long gone now.

Lately, she had spent a lot of time on internet, searching for songs she could sing during her night rehearsals with Noah and visiting Julliard's through their site, to see what her life would be like a few years.

She had always picture herself arriving there holding Finn's hand. She had always pictured them together, her, the hot new charismatic singer and him, the NYU star quarterback, living happily in a tiny place that would be theirs. They could be so happy.

Rachel smiled at the vision she had had but her smile disappeared when she realized that it wouldn't probably happen the way she had so faithfully imagined it.

"_We have time to sort this out, we have more than a year to sort our feelings out, and we have time to do it. I am not giving up on us_." She said with aplomb, remaining positive.

She was concentrating herself back on Internet when her phone rang. She told herself it was Noah, but smiled even more when she saw Kurt's id on her phone.

"_Happy New Year Kurt_!" said Rachel happily.

"_What's up with you, you sound way too happy Miss Berry_?" said Kurt who expected a much sadder tone.

"_You know what they say:_ _A new year, a new start. I was looking for song and visiting Julliard's on the net. I guess those things do make me happy_." She answered.

"_Happy to hear you're such in a good mood. I'm only surprised to hear you so joyful because last time we saw each other, you weren't too cheerful_." He replied trying to sound as joyous as she did.

She remembered it too. It had taken place a couple of days after the Christmas party break down. She had run into Kurt and Finn with their parents. They had all exchanged Merry Christmas wishes. The two ex love birds couldn't even look at each other in the eyes and, second later, they had passed by one another as if they were two strangers. But little did Finn know that Rachel had called Noah and went straight to her sanctuary to sing _1000 oceans by Tori Amos_ after their meeting.

"_You know, I try to stay positive, life is not over because Finn and I are. I am only keeping faith on our star, my star_." She corrected after her slip.

"_You haven't called to hear me blabbing about my talented self, I'm sure your call has another motive._" She asked promptly to change the subject, hoping he hadn't noticed her stumble too much.

"_As a matter of fact I did! I was wondering if you wanted us to meet. I am going at the skating rink with Blaine and a friend. Would you come with us? I'll introduce you to Blaine and we could have fun_." said Kurt joyful.

"_Are you trying to play match make Kurt_? _If you are, you should know that I am not ready to date. I thought you were more sensible than that_." Rachel replied, her tone slightly annoyed by Kurt's comments.

"_Course not Rachel_, _I don't expect you to jump onto him. The guy is having a hard time, the girl he loved just left him and I thought you guys could talk to someone who's going through the same thing. Friend to friend_." replied Kurt to Rachel's accusations.

Rachel didn't know if she should agree to this encounter. After all, she didn't even know that guy that Kurt was referring to, but she knew she could trust Kurt who had been nothing but kind emailing her thoughtful notes. She knew he was sensitive and he wouldn't do something to arm her. Furthermore, she had the afternoon to herself, so why not spend it with among friends.

"_I don't know why I am saying yes to your proposal but it better not be a blind date, Kurt or I am never speaking to you again_." She told Kurt very seriously.

"_That's the Rachel Berry I know, all nice and soft_." Kurt laughed, making Rachel laughed too.

"_I'll pick you up in half an hour_." Kurt started to say before Rachel answered him quickly.

"_No, I'll walk! I enjoy walking these days, I'll join you in forty minutes, more or less_." said Rachel walking across the room to reach her wardrobe where her skates were stored.

"_Ok. We will wait for you and the entering of the rink. Don't forget your blades. See you later tinkle_." said Kurt before hanging up smiling.

She hung up too and finally found her skates in her wardrobe. She really hoped they would fit. It had been over a year since she had used them. She hoped she was still good at it. She remembered the classes she was taking before her dads took her off the artistic skating team, saying that jumps were too dangerous for her body and the coldness could damage her so pure voice. She remembered enjoying it and hoped to make Kurt proud for bringing her stake with them.

She put the stakes in her gymnastic bag and went downstairs quickly. She put on her coat, scarf, gloves and beret. She said goodbye to her dads, telling them where she was going and left the house. She started to walk quickly not to be late.

The rink was pretty far from her house but she really felt like she needed to walk, to compose herself before facing Kurt. She knew that they would probably talk about Finn, somewhere in the afternoon, and she didn't mind. She knew that she could talk to Kurt openly. She knew that he would understand her and, more importantly, she knew that he would be honest and straight forward with her.

She would try not to ask questions about Finn, questions such as; how he is, or is he ok? She would gladly take the news that Kurt would give her but nothing more. She would not run into trouble, trouble being hopelessly losing herself over Finn. No, she would be stronger than that.

Little did she know that she was about to be tested more than she had imagined… Ready or not…


	9. Ready or Not

Hey everybody, First, HAPPY NEW YEAR! To all of you! I am really thankful for all your reviews. Let's hope 2011 will bring us sweet Finchel moment! Envoy this chapter!

**CHAPTER 9**

**READY OR NOT**

Shortly after hanging up, Kurt went downstairs and took two coats from the living room's wardrobe. He put on his coat and dropped the other one on the sofa. He searched into the wardrobe and found two pairs of black skates. He placed them in his backpack and put it on his shoulder. He took back the other coat on the sofa, went back upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door next to his bedroom.

"_Yeah_!" said Finn weakly, trying to concentrate on his video game.

"_Come one big boy_." he said opening the door widely on a yawing Finn.

"_We're going skating_." He added, throwing Finn his coat. The tall boy was pissed because Kurt had just ruined his score.

"_You are coming or I'll call Santana and I'll tell her where you are. I bet she would love to lay her hands on you_." He added before Finn could reply something.

Afraid his brother would actually put his threats into execution, Finn left his bed and put on his coat in spite the fact that he had no desire what so ever to go skating with Kurt. But, he preferred spending time with Kurt than dealing with Santana. Finn was pretty scared of what she would do to him. All the sultry messages she had been sending him were quite disturbing.

He kept looking at Kurt, annoyed. Why wasn't his brother leaving him alone? All he wanted was to be left alone…

"_Stop sulking, you poor big sad boy_." said Kurt, half smiling.

"_If you come without complaining, big brother Kurt will give a surprise_" he added smiling even more broadly to Finn who was clearly not in the mood for jokes.

Kurt left the room and went downstairs followed by a lazy Finn. Kurt put on his boots and his cap, looking intensely at Finn.

"_Come on Finn. Get you cap and gloves or maybe you want me to dress you up? We're going to be late. Blaine is meeting us in fifteen minutes. And I don't want to be late_." said Kurt opening the door but Finn closed it in the shorter boy's face.

"_No. I am not playing the third wheel Kurt, no freaking way. You are alone on this one buddy_." Said Finn unzipping his coat but he was stopped by Kurt before he had unzipped it completely.

"_Yes. You are coming brother dear, end of discussion_." said Kurt zipping Finn's coat back.

"_I said no_." said Finn, unzipping his coat again.

"_You've chosen the hard way Mr Grumpy_." said Kurt taking off his coat as he went to the kitchen.

"_What are you doing_?" asked Finn dumfounded.

"_I am calling Santana. I didn't want to resort to that, but you leaving me no choice_." He said taking the phone in one hand.

Soon, he saw a very determinate Finn coming his way. The tall boy grabbed the phone and snatched it from his brother's hands.

"_Gotcha!_" Finn said, pleased with him, putting the phone in his back pocket.

Kurt looked at Finn, still smiling, as he went upstairs, entered his room and shut the door heavily.

Finn stayed in the living room. He waited for a couple of minutes but Kurt didn't come back. He knew this encounter was important to him so he was surprised not to see his brother getting back downstairs and leave the house to see Blaine. He knew something was going on.

Then, it hit him. There was a phone upstairs or Kurt could use his own cell phone. Finn ran upstairs almost barging into Kurt's door.

"_Kurt, please, tell me you haven't done it_!" he screamed, sitting his back against the door.

He almost fell backward when Kurt opened the door.

"_No, I haven't. Not yet at least, but if you don't come with me, I will do it, unflinchingly._" he said, crossing over Finn and getting back downstairs.

Finn stood up and followed him for the second time and wearing the same expression.

"_You won, but I won't enjoy myself_." He said grumpily, zipping back his coat.

"_Yes you will!_" Replied Kurt softly, putting on his coat.

"_What did you say_?" asked Finn.

"_Nothing_." replied Kurt, laughing in his beard, knowing just how much he would enjoy himself, Rachel even more… His plan was great, kind of predicable and really cheesy but he knew it would work. Good old tricks were often the most useful.

Kurt put his cap and gloves on and went to the kitchen and left a note on the table saying that they would be back for diner with two guesses if both of them were lucky. He came back into the living room to a not so cheerful Finn who was painfully waiting for his brother to come back.

"_Now we are really late_." said Kurt putting the bag in Finn's arms and dragging him outside.

Once outside, Kurt took the lead and led them to his SUV. They both got in the car, Kurt joyful and Finn resigned. He couldn't believe he had let his brother drag him into this; a nice afternoon skating with Kurt and his sweetheart. God, it would be painful.

The car started and Kurt drove until they reached the parking lot next to the rink. Blaine was already there, waiting for Kurt at the border of the rink, stakes in his hands. Kurt got out of the car playfully almost flying to Blaine. Finn followed him, looking at the ground, playing with the bag's shoulder strap. He went closer to the boys who were clearly very happy to see each other.

"_Blaine, this is my brother Finn. His mother married my father couple weeks ago. Finn this is my friend Blaine_." Kurt said shyly taking the bag from Finn's arms.

"_Nice to meet you_." said Finn, extending his hand to Blaine.

"_Nice to meet you too_." said Blaine, shaking Finn's hands.

They all went to sit on a wooden bench nearby to put their skates on. All set, they walked toward the rink.

"_Don't you think we should wait for your other friend_?" asked Blaine gently.

Hearing those words, Finn stared at Kurt.

"_You told me you wouldn't. I shouldn't have trust you_." said Finn to Kurt angrily. He was walking away when Kurt seized the sleeve of his coat.

"_It's not what you think Finn_." replied Kurt, bringing him back towards them.

"_Mercedes will come to join us, not Santana_." He added to calm Finn down.

"_OK_" replied Finn, relieved.

"_Maybe you should wait for her on the bench and you guys can join us together_." said Kurt.

"_Yes, good idea. You guys go and enjoy yourselves._" He replied watching the two other boys skating away speaking, but he didn't understand what they were saying. He didn't really want to know anyway.

Finn sat on the bench and looked far in front of him. Lost in his mind, he imagined how nice it would have been to bring Rachel here if they still were together.

Sighing, he turned his head to the left and couldn't help noticing a brown haired girl who had just finished lacing up her skates. She looked just like Rachel. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't believe it. It was Rachel, he was pretty sure of it. He wondered what he should do. Should he go to her or leave her alone? Maybe she was here with Puck, but he doubted it. Skating was not one of Puck's favourite thing.

Then, he saw her making grand gestures to someone. The boy who responded to her was no other than Kurt.

"_Mercedes, yeah, idiot_." said Finn for himself realizing that Kurt had probably planned all this.

Now, he knew they couldn't avoid each other, she would have to face him, to talk to him. Furthermore, he really wanted to talk to her. After all, she was the one who had said that she wanted them to be friends.

So, he stood up and walked toward her. He sat down next to her as she turned herself to face him.

"_Finn_!" she said surprised but smiling nervously. "_What are you doing here_?" She asked, trying to regain her composure.

"I _am here with Kurt. He dragged me out here and now I know why._" He replied, looking gently at her. "_Did he set you up too_?" added Finn.

"_I think he did. It makes us the two most gullible people in Ohio_." She said, looking at him.

Finn looked at her with question marks in his eyes.

"_We believe things easily_." replied Rachel, looking at him in the eyes, smiling widely. He replied with a smile of his own, a broad smile that lighten up his face. As if they were old Finn and old Rachel, that nothing bad had ever happened to them.

They continued to stare at each other for few more seconds, lost in each other eyes, their hands and their bodies getting closer to each other's without even noticing it, as if they were magnets. Then Rachel broke the silence.

"_We should go. They must be wondering what we're doing_." said Rachel, trying to get out of the trance she had just experienced.

Finn was taken aback by Rachel's reaction. He really thought they were having a moment there and she had chosen to end it. But, I was determined not to give up that easily.

"_Yeah, you're right. Come with me_." Finn told her, smiling, extending his hand to her, hoping she would take it.

"_It's okay. I can walk by myself, but thanks for offering me your hand Finn_." She replied to him, trying to look at him straight in the eyes but clearly failing.

Finn's smile faded. Her hand, he had only asked to hold her hand, to help her but he had refused. He would have to be patient. Unfortunately, patience wasn't one of his features.

They walked a few meters in silence before getting onto the rink. He got onto it first and waited for her to follow him. He didn't offer her his hand to get onto the rink, she had already pushed him away before, he didn't want to be too pushy.

Rachel put one foot onto the rink anr tried to maintain her balance by herself but when she tried to lay down her other foot on the ice, she fell. However, she never touched the ice, warms hands had caught her before humiliation.

She had fallen into Finn's arms. She stayed there for a while, her body refusing to move, so happy to feel Finn's embrace once again.

Finn didn't want to let go either. She was where he wanted her so eagerly to be. The position he was in was pretty uncomfortable, his back was hurting him but he would have stayed like this forever if it was the only way to touch her, to smell her. Then, Finn felt a movement in his arms. Rachel had turned her head to face him.

Now, they were face to face, looking at each other in the eyes, noses almost touching, lips half parted. Finn's mind was racing. Should he try to kiss her now? Would she push him away if he did? He knew there was only one way to know…

Without another hesitation, he leaned in. Their noses touched, their lips slightly brushed against each other's. He felt Rachel's body loosen into his arms, so he went for the kill.

He kissed her like he had never kissed her before, he kissed her with lus and passion.

First, Finn's attack had surprised her a little but she quickly welcomed it and kissed him back with all she got.

"_Get a room_!" A stranger screamed, passing in front of them.

Then, they stopped kissing, both breathing heavily, lips swollen. They regained consciousness of time and space; the skating rink with a dozen pairs of eyes staring at them, enjoying the show.

Finn stood up, dragging Rachel with him. He went closer to her and held her tight.

"_I have missed you so much_." Finn said, holding her as tightly as he could.

Then, he took a step back to fully look at the face he never wanted to leave again. His smile didn't fade seeing the tears on Rachel's face because, knowing Rachel, they could easily be tears of joy!

"_Why are you crying? Did I hold you too strongly? I am so…" _said Finn.

"_It was a mistake Finn_." She interrupted him, crying, before he could finish his last sentence.

Finn continued to look at her, like he hadn't understood what she had just said.

"I_t's too soon_." She added this time, pushing herself away from her.

Feeling her slipping away, he looked at her and saw sadness and guilt in his eyes.

"_What did you just said_?" asked Finn, dumbfounded as if he had been struck by a lightning.

"_I am so sorry Finn, I never should have let you kissed me like this_." She said, still crying, trying to get away from him but he grabbed her hand before she had a chance to get away.

"_But, you did kiss me back, didn't you_?" he asked, holding her hand, bringing her closer to him. "_Why would you have done it if you don't love me and want me back_?" he asked, trying to touch her face.

"_I still love you Finn. You have to believe me. I love you but that's not enough. As much as being without you hurts, I need to_." pleaded Rachel, crying, getting away from Finn's grip once again.

Finn couldn't believe what he had just heard. Seeing him loose his balance, Rachel took him by the shoulder and helped him to sit on the nearest bench. She sat next to him, keeping a comfortable distance between them.

She was afraid of what she would do if she reminded too close to him. She knew she had to do something rational or she would lose herself in his world again. She had to leave before committing the irreparable.

Rachel took off her skates and her put on her boots. Then, she packed her skates back in her bag. She had to leave, but she couldn't leave him alone like this. She knew couldn't ask him if everything was alright because she painfully knew the answer to that question.

"_Goodbye Finn_!" she whispered softly to him, before walking away. But Finn stood up and grabbed her wrist before she had the time to leave for good.

"_That's all! That's all you have to say to me. You break my heart again and you just say GOODBYE! Weren't you the one who said that we have to act like friends! What kind of friends would do that to each other_? _Friends should be able to talk through their problems Rachel._" He said, letting go of her hand.

"_I don't know if I can be friends with you Finn. I think it was a presumptuous thing for me to say. I thought I could, but the feelings I have for you are too strong_." She said crying.

Finn stood up and went closer to her.

"_Stay where you are Finn, please. You're only making it harder for both of us_." she said before he could reach her.

"_What you did with her is hard to digest. I need time to heel. I am only trying to do what's best for me, to prevent myself for hurting more than I already am. Be patient, that's all I am asking_." Rachel said, taking a few steps closer to Finn.

"_You have to trust me on this one_!" she said, gently to him, whipping her own tears.

Finn faced her. He went really close her but without their bodies touching. He looked at her but didn't make a move on her.

"_I love you Rachel. I'll wait for you as long as you love me. I will show you that you can trust me and…_

Rachel had closed the gap on each other before he had time to finish his sentence. She lifted herself on her toe and kissed him on the cheeks.

"_Thank you Finn._" she whispered to her ear and finally walked away.

"_This is only goodbye Rachel. One day, one way or another, you will come back to me, where you belong_." said Finn to himself wishing he was telling the truth…


	10. Friends of more

**Hi everybody! Hope you guys enjoyed yourselves during the holidays. Chapter 10 is up. Hope you guys like it! **

**CHAPTER 10**

**Friends or more!**

Rachel left the rink, walking. She walked but kept glancing at the rink to look at Finn. Once she got out of his sight, she started running. She ran for couple of minutes, trying to clear up her head of her encounter with him. After 10 minutes running, she stopped, out of breath. The run hadn't calm her but she knew what would. So, she took her cell phone and called Puck. She didn't have to wait long for him to answer joyfully.

"_Hi Berry, Miss me_?"

"_Hi Noah_!" she replied quickly to Puck. "_Could you come and pick me up at home in 15 minutes, I really need you_?" added Rachel trying not to break into tears.

"_Sure,_ _sound like another case of a sad song, Dr Pukerman will be there as soon as he can_." replied Puck laughing.

"_Thanks Noah, I don't know what I would do without you_." replied Rachel, calmer.

"_Didn't you know that rescuing jewish damsel in distress was my new mission_." said Puck, hoping he would make Rachel laugh.

"_Honestly, Puck, I'll never thank you enough for being such a good friend to me_." She replied smiling.

"_See you now Berry_" said Puck, hanging up.

After phone call to Puck, Rachel walked home slower, taking time to take in what had just happen. It would have been so easy and so good to give in. Saying goodbye to Finn had been the hardest thing she had ever done. He had looked so sad and she hated to see sadness and hurt in his gorgeous brown eyes. It had taken all her might and all her will to leave him but she knew she had no other choice but to do so. They both needed time alone if they didn't want to keep falling in their old pattern all over again.

When she arrived home, Puck was already there, sitting on the hood of his car.

"_Where the hell have you been_? I knocked and knocked and nobody answered" he said, worried, knowing that something was wrong when she called him.

"_What's in the bag_?" He added noticing the gym back on her shoulder.

"_Long story, but first I have to get the camera. Wait for me, I won't be long_!" Rachel said leaving Puck outside and entering her house.

She went upstairs, threw her pair of skates in her room and took her camera. She came back downstairs, got out of the house, got into Puck's car without talking, not taking more than 30 seconds to breath. Puck got into the car, in the driver's seat.

"_Way to go Berry, next time could you be a bit faster please_?" Puck said starting the car and took the road that would lead them to McKinley High School.

Rachel reminded silent, lost deep in her thoughts. She didn't say a word on the way to school.

Once there, She went out of the car and went, almost running, to door they had borrowed so many times during the last two weeks. Puck followed her, unlocked the door and they went straight to the auditorium. As they were used to do by now, Rachel went on the stage and Puck opened the lights. Puck took off his coat and cap, threw them on the floor. Then, he went to Rachel and took the camera from her.

"3-2-1, rolling" said Puck while pushing the rec button.

_I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish  
I'll be your fantasy  
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love  
Be everything that you need  
I'll love you more with every breath  
Truly, madly, deeply do_

I will be strong, I will be faithful  
'Cause I'm counting on  
A new beginnin'  
A reason for livin'  
A deeper meanin', yea

And I want to stand with you on a mountain  
I want to bathe with you in the sea  
I want to lay like this forever  
Until the sky falls down on me

And when my stars are shinin' brightly in the velvet sky  
I'll make a wish to send it to Heaven  
Then make you want to cry  
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty  
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of  
The highest powers in lonely hours  
The tears devour you

Oh can't you see it baby?  
You don't have to close your eyes  
'Cause it's standin' right before you  
All that you need will surely come

Rachel sang to the front row once again, to the imaginary Finn, the one to whom she was allowing herself to sing what she really felt, without questioning or alteration. She sang her heart out to that empty bench once more.

"_It's a wrap_" Puck said when she had sang her last note, closing the video camera.

As every other time, he went to her and let her cry on his shoulder but, this time, she cried longer.

"_Stop or you're going to drown me Berry_." Puck said, holding onto her tighter.

"_I can't stop, I'm sorry Noah_." Rachel replied loosen her grip on him, to look at him.

As she looked at him, Puck caressed her cheeks, whipping her tears away, starring at her, affection in his eyes. It made Rachel smile.

"_Would you drive me home Noah_?" she said, feeling a little better.

"_Your wishes are my command, my jewish princess_!" replied Puck bowing in front of her.

Rachel laughed slightly and smiled at him.

Puck put his coat back on. Once dressed, he presented his arms to Rachel who took it and they walked out of the auditorium and finally out of the school.

Once outside, they walked, almost ran, together until they reached the car and got into it quickly. Once inside, they both shivered and breathed in the hands to reheat them, the time was getting colder. After few seconds, Puck started the car and they took back to road to Rachel's house.

On their way back home, Rachel decided to put the radio on and a familiar song filled the air. Puck recognized it too but was to slow to shut it down before Rachel could hear the first verse.

_Highway run  
Into the midnight sun  
Wheels go round and round  
You're on my mind  
Restless hearts  
Sleep alone tonight  
Sending all my love  
Along the wire_

The slight smile on Rachel face's disappeared when she heard those lyrics she had once enjoyed so much. Puck made a move to switch station but Rachel held his hand before he could reach the button.

"_It's okay Noah, I'll be okay. I have to get use to this, even if it hurts. I have to learn that my life is not all about Finn_." said Rachel trying not the break into tears.

The car pulled over Rachel's house.

"_Goodnight Puck_" she said to him, unfastening her belt, leaning her head to face him only to see Puck get out the car too. She looked at him with question marks in the eyes.

"_Don't look at me like that. No way I am leaving alone tonight_." He said getting to the door before her.

"_You don't have to, Noah, I'll be fine. You must have much more interesting things to do_…" Rachel said going to meet him on the porch.

"_Something clearly upsetting happened this afternoon and I am not going anywhere until you spill the juice. That, and the fact that I would kill for a hot chocolate_" said Puck half joking.

"_Come on Berry or, soon, I won't feel my junk anymore and you know how much it is important to me, more than my brain!"_ said Puck trying to the more seriously as he could.

Rachel laughed opening the door and the both entered.

The house was dark and empty. Rachel's fathers had left for the week-end. Puck and Rachel both took off their boots, coats and Puck followed Rachel into the kitchen where she prepared the hot chocolate. Puck sat in the chair near the sink and watched carefully during the preparation of the hot beverage, almost drooling with envy.

"_Noah, would you please give me two cups in the cupboard behind_ _you_." She said brewing her preparation.

Puck went to the cupboard and brought her two porcelain cups. He put them in front of Rachel who filled them with the hot smelly beverage. Cups in hand, they went in the living room where Rachel sat on the long sofa and Puck on the armchair.

"_So, Miss Berry, Tell me what little Hudson did to you this time_?" asked Puck, mimicking a therapist taking notes.

"_It is so obvious, isn't it?_" said Rachel crossing the arms on his chest, becoming sadder.

"_There's only that sorry excuse of a man to make you weep like that_." He said looking at Rachel.

"_That, and the fact that you've been singing those sad songs to him almost every night. Only a deadbeat wouldn't see what he's doing to you_. " He added a bit of hardness in his voice.

"_You don't understand Noah_." said Rachel avoiding Puck's eyes.

"_No, you're right, I don't understand. I don't understand how you keep flaying yourself for him_." Said Puck, irritated.

"_We love each other Noah, he told me._" Replied Rachel softly.

"_What? He came back at you, after you told him to give you time. Now, I am officially punching his face off_!" said Puck clenching his fists.

"_No Noah. This is not the way it happened. We had been set up, both of us, by Kurt. We met at the skating rink and_…" said Rachel getting closer to Puck and taking his fists in her hands.

"_And?"_ ask Puck, urging her to tell him.

"_We kissed_." replied Rachel a bit ashamed.

"_You let him kiss you_?" asked Puck, making a step backward.

"_Why did you kiss him back_?" He added, crossing his arms on his chest.

"_Because I love him Noah_." Rachel replied, getting one step closer to the boy, putting on hand on his shoulder.

"_If you love him so much, then why don't you go back to him_." He asked her, taking her hand off his shoulder and went to sit on the sofa. Rachel followed him and sat next to him.

"_As much as I love Finn, I cannot be a couple with him right now. My heart truly wants to forgive him but I am not sure my mind would allow it. I know I have to learn how to protect myself first and after, I'll be ready for Finn, totally ready. I hope he still wants me then_." Rachel told Puck, looking in his eyes.

"_He'd be a fool not to_." Puck replied, smiling at her, replacing a string of her hair back behind her hear.

Puck kept smiling to her, he couldn't help it. She was gorgeous and her big eyes shinned so brightly when she was talking about love, almost making him believe that such a powerful thing existed and lasted. Before doing something that he knew he would regret, he decided to leave.

"_It's getting late, I should get going._" he said, rinsing up, putting his hand in his pockets.

Puck went to get his coat back. Rachel followed him and put on her coat too. She went outside with him. After a few seconds looking at each other on the porch, Puck took her in his arms.

"_See you tomorrow night for another session Miss Berry_." He whispered, holding her tight, caressing her back to keep her warm.

"_If it is the doctor's order than I'll be there_." She said smiling at Puck, taking a step back to look at him.

"_I have another prescription for you_." Puck said, closing the bridge on them, caressing her cheek.

He leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the mouth and she let him do it without pushing him away at first but she knew she couldn't deepened the kiss, that would be big mistake, a mistake that she had decided not to do, not again.

He tried to make the kiss become more passionate but he hurt himself against a wall.

"_I like you, I really do and I'll be forever thankful to you but I don't love you that way Noah_." she whispered, their lips still millimetres away from each other's. She put her arms around him.

"_You're my friend, the very best friend I could wish for but my love lies with Finn_." She added, tearfully.

"_I know._" whispered Puck, caressing her hair.

Puck and Rachel parted from each other hearing a tree branch cracked under a foot. They both looked in the noise direction but didn't see anything.

"_I guess this is my cue to leave then_." Puck said looking back at Rachel.

"_But I have one more prescription for you, a serious one this time. You should listen to your heart Berry and do what I did tonight. You are stronger than you think you are. You have resisted the Puckerman's charm, that's something I haven't experience much. More seriously, if you do love Finn so much, you should go be with him. I am pretty sure he's just hurt as bad as you are. Go to him, but this time Berry, put your conditions, stopped letting him get away with every lousy things he does to you and stop punishing yourself for his behaviour, go and make yourself whole again. Go back being the fruit that you were, juicy and tasty_." Said Puck leaving the porch and went down the stairs, followed, seconds later, by Rachel.

"_Thanks Noah_." She said jumping into his arms. "_Thanks for everything you've done for me, I hope we are going to remain friends_." She added smiling.

"_Don't think you are done with me Miss Berry, your best friend will still be there to keep little Finn on his toes. Tell him that I'll keep an eye on him_!" said Puck joking, getting away from Rachel and getting into his car.

Rachel looked at Puck's car getting away, thinking of all the things he had done and said to her. He had kissed her, revealing his feelings for her, knowing he was going to get pushed away but he still did it. He had been her very best friend since the Finn's fiasco on Christmas night. He had listened to her, every night, singing about her undying love for his former best friend. He had been good and kind to her. If he trusted her, she would trust herself, she decided to choose her heart before un mind.

So, she went to her room. Found the perfect song on the Internet, the first song that she would actually be singing to him for real, she printed it and went back downstairs. She went out of the house and drove to the Hummel household.

Once in front of the Hummel residence, seeing Finn's car was parked there, she parked her car, opened its windows, pumped up the volume as loud as she could. She didn't mind the hour or the neighbourhood reactions, now all the wanted to focus on was her reunion with the boy she loved. The music started and she sang through it.

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile.  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.  
You've built a love but that love falls apart.  
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark._

Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.  
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.  
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems,  
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

And there are voices  
that want to be heard.  
So much to mention  
but you can't find the words.  
The scent of magic,  
the beauty that's been  
when love was wilder than the wind.

When she stopped singing she saw Kurt's face appear in the window. She was a bit disappointed but smiled at him as she walked to the porch joyfully. Kurt opened the door to her few seconds later.

"_Is Finn's here, I really need to talk to him_!" she said entering in the house without an invitation.

Kurt let her get in. Rachel headed to the stairs but Kurt took her hand before she could get on the first step.

"_Don't rush upstairs for nothing, he's not here_!" said Kurt yawning.

"_Do you know where he is_?" asked Rachel disappointed.

"_I don't know. He left a while ago saying that he had something important to do and he isn't back yet_." said Kurt trying to wake himself up a little.

"_He was pretty upset when we came to from the skating rink. We talked about you, he went up in his room, came down, he took his coat and left saying he had something important do_." said Kurt to Rachel, scratching his head.

"_His car is in the driveway._" Said Rachel wondering where Finn could be and hoping that he would be back soon.

"_Quite frankly, I honestly thought that he was gone to see you. He could have easily walked there and maybe he is there yet, waiting for you."_ added Kurt, sitting on the couch.

Rachel looked at him smiling widely, hopping that Kurt was right.

"_What are you still doing here Rach? Go and get the boy! Get of here_!" Kurt said to a frantic Rachel who didn't lose one second and left to leave the house to go back to hers.

She got into her car and put her homemade CD. NO AIR filled the air. She couldn't stop smiling and singing while driving. She was so anxious to see Finn, for them to start over.

She drove home very fast. Once there, she was surprised not to see Finn waiting for her on the porch.

"_Maybe he is walking very slowly to take time to figure out what he's going to say, how he is going to win me back_. _After all_, _I have been doing it a lot lately_." said Rachel to herself almost dancing to the door.

She opened it and went inside. She took off her coat and went to the bathroom to make herself more presentable for her favourite boy. Then, she came back in the living room. She waited, standing in front the tall window impatiently. She waited, waited and waited…

**Songs : Truly, madly deeply, by Savage Garden **

**Faithfully, by Journey**

**Listen to your Heart, by Roxette.**


	11. Illusions

CHAPTER 11

**Illusions**

He had let her leave. He hadn't tried to stop her. Sure, she had asked him not to but what he had really wanted to do was to run to her, hold and never let go but he didn't…

He didn't understand why they were supposed to stay away from one another if they loved each other. How could he prove her she could trust him without being in her life? He knew he had to do something about this whole situation soon or he could lose her.

Lost in his thought, he didn't see Kurt and Blaine coming closer to him.

"_Where is Rachel_?" asked Kurt slowing down near him. He looked around; sure he would find Rachel somewhere nearby.

"_She went home_." Finn said to his brother emotionless.

"_Why did she go home? I thought that your make out session would have helped you guys out, quite the show actually and to say that you were afraid of losing her_." He said, smirking at his brother.

"_We're not back together_." said Finn, not looking at Kurt.

"_But, at least you are talking right and in good terms_" added Kurt, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"_Yeah, I guess we can say that_." he replied, finally lifting his eyes to look at Kurt and brought them back in front of him, fixing emptiness.

"_Your guys were made for each other even if you are proud or not ready to acknowledge it yet_." said Kurt to Finn who was not listening to what his brother was saying.

Finn couldn't stop thinking about Rachel, about how she had left him with anything but a goodbye kiss, on the cheeks nonetheless. She had left him there, as if he had leprosy. How could she have told him that love wasn't enough? On his side, he thought that her love would mean the world to him.

"_Finn, are you even listening to me?_" Kurt called, seeing his brother completely lost in his thoughts.

"_What_?" Finn whispered, not sure Kurt had talked to him.

"_My god, you look awful_" replied Kurt worried for his brother sanity.

Finn didn't reply anything to Kurt last comment. He kept looking right in front of him and stayed lost on planet Rachel. He let one single tear fell of his eyes and he let it fall freely.

"_Ok. I am bringing you back home_." said Kurt sitting next to Finn, patting his back. Blaine sat next to Kurt.

They all took off their skates and put on their boots. The three guys walked back to Kurt's SUV and got into the car. Blaine sat next to Kurt and Finn took place on the back, sloppily.

Kurt drove to Blaine's place. Once in front of the house, Kurt and Blaine got out of the SUV and Kurt accompanied Blaine to his door. They hugged closely and Kurt came back to the car, smiling widely, He tried to hide his total happiness before Finn could see how much cheerful he was. Finn never saw his smile. He was too deeply buried in his thought to see further than his sadness, pain and incomprehension. Kurt hated to see Finn like that. Some Ass-kicking was in order…

Kurt came back to the car, got into the driver seat, started the car and drove until they reached their house. The two guys reminded silent on the way home. Kurt kept glancing at Finn, in the mirror, to see if he was alright. Kurt had hoped that Finn would talk to him first but he should have known better. Maybe Finn didn't want to talk about this now but Kurt had other plans. Once at home, he would confront his brother about this messy situation.

Kurt parked his SUV in the driveway and they both got out of the car. Kurt walked home followed by Finn who was walking like a zombie. Kurt unlocked the door and the both entered the house. Once in, Kurt took off his winter garment and saw a note on the living room table saying that the new Mr. and Mrs. Hummel were having a night out and they could order a pizza. He decided to read the note out loud for his brother. Finn had no reactions. The tall guy took his coat and gloves off, forgetting his cap on his head and headed upstairs.

"_Where do you think you are going Mr._ _I am suffering in silence_?" asked Kurt.

"_Video games, I need to set my mind on something_!" replied Finn, climbing the two first steps of the staircase.

"_Yeah, it's clear you need to do something but videos games won't mend your broken heart Finn. You need to talk about this_." said Kurt, dragging Finn back downstairs.

"_Nothing I could say will make me feel better_." said Finn, sighing, letting Kurt dragging him down the stairs.

"_Maybe there's nothing you can say but there surely something you can do._" Replied Kurt guiding him to the sofa where they both sat.

"_I tried Kurt, but she didn't listen to me_." said Finn, scratching his forehead.

"_Actions speak louder than words Finn." replied Kurt_

"_What did you think that kiss was for, Kurt, mouth to mouth_?" said Finn a bit frustrated.

"_No, that kiss seemed perfect; I'll give good points on that. I have to say that I am really surprised she didn't melt into your arms after that_." replied Kurt a bit dumfounded.

"_Join the club_…" replied Finn sighing loudly, now scratching his head.

"_What else did she tell you_?" asked Kurt curious, wanting to understand Rachel's behavior.

"_First she didn't want to stay alone with me, as if she didn't trust me. She wanted to join you guys on the ice and I offered my hand to help her but she pushed it aside as if I had a leprosy or herpes. Then, she went on the ice and fell onto my arms and you know what happened there."_ said Finn, looking at the floor.

"_Everybody did._" replied Kurt, smiling, interrupting Finn's story.

"_After that, thinks started to go wrong. After our kiss, she started to cry. Knowing Rachel and knowing the kiss had been really good to both of us because of the way she responded to it, I thought her tears were happiness tear's but I was wrong_." said Finn, bringing his hand to his forehand.

Finn took a deep breath.

"_Then she started to say that the kiss was a mistake, that it was too soon, that she was sorry. She regretted kissing me and she kept driving piles_" continued Finn a bit angry now.

"_She even had the guts to say that she loved me and we couldn't be friends because of the strong feelings that she still has for me. She even kissed me goodbye, on the cheeks for god's sake_." said Finn, standing up and starting pacing the room.

"_I wish I could understand why she is acting like this_? _I don't know if I should be sad or pissed. I don't know what to do…_" said Finn throwing himself back on the couch next to Kurt.

"_She's acting like this because she's hurt Finn_." replied Kurt looking at Finn.

"_I am hurt too but I am willing to talk through this. I told her that she can trust me now that I've learn my lesson, that I won't her again, not intentionally at least. She doesn't want to believe me_." Finn told Kurt, looking in the eyes.

"_I don't think you are the problem here_." said Kurt, lost in his thought.

"_What_?" questioned Finn, not sure he had understood correctly.

"_You are a part of the equation Finn, that's for sure, but I'd say it's her she's scared of_." replied Kurt lifting his eyes to look at his brother.

"_What do you mean_?" asked Finn taken aback of Kurt comments.

"_That means that she loves you too much, that she doesn't trust herself with you._" said Kurt looking at Finn.

"_It would explain a few things_." replied Finn to Kurt, now smiling, wanting so much to believe what Kurt has just said.

Kurt left the couch, tapped Finn back and went to the kitchen, leaving him alone by himself.

Finn was confused. Rachel had been pushing him away every time they had seen each other since the Christmas party. He always had been clear about the fact that he wanted to be couple with her again. On her side, she had acted strangely, keeping him away from her. Kurt could be right. Like he had said before, it sure would explain a lot.

The tall guy stood up and went in the Kitchen where Kurt stood, looking at the numerous delivery menus lying on the kitchen table.

"_One more question dude_?" Finn asked, both hand deep buried in his jean's pocket.

"_Yes Finn_." answered Kurt, lifting his eyes from the menus.

"_What should I do_?" Finn said as he went sitting on a chair near his brother.

"_It depends on what you want?" If you want to spend time on your own, wait to see what happens next but if you really need her, like it is so obvious for me, I honestly think you should do something about it before sinking into deeper depression_." said Kurt walking toward Finn.

"_But she already pushed me away today. I don't think I can be more sincere and convincing that I was earlier_." Finn added after Kurt plea.

"_Nothing can be more convincing for Rachel than your voice. I've seen the power you have on each other when you sing together, it's unavoidable. Such a melody cannot fall into total cacophony. I truly think you are made for each other; that you are each other complement. I think it would be a complete waste of time and symphony if you two stay apart much longer_." said Kurt looking at Finn.

Finn walked closer to Kurt and took him in his arms and held him.

"_It's my humble opinion_." Added Kurt, a bit surprised by Finn's attack of affection.

"_Thank you Kurt_!" Finn replied, loosening his grip on Kurt.

Kurt only response to Finn was a genuine smile. Kurt hoped his words had made their way in Finn's mind.

The tall boy left the Kitchen and went upstairs quickly and came back fifteen minutes later looking much better than he had in the last few weeks.

"_Hawaiian pizza! Is it ok for you_?" asked Kurt to Finn hearing him getting downstairs.

"_I am not eating here. I have something important to do. Don't wait up for me_." Finn replied to Kurt, putting on his coat, hiding _Unchained Melody lyrics_ in the inside pocket of his coat and going out of the house, almost running, slamming the door.

Kurt smiled and returned to his delivery menu; hopping Finn would go exactly where he belonged.

Finn decided not to take his car; he decided to walk, no, to run to Rachel's house. He kept singing, _unchained melody_, the song he had chosen to sing to Rachel. He whispered it while running to his sweet reunion with the girl he loved.

_Oh, my love_  
_my darling_  
_I've hungered for your touch_  
_a long lonely time_  
_and time goes by so slowly_  
_and time can do so much_  
_are you still mine?_  
_I need your love_  
_I need your love_  
_Godspeed your love to me_

_Lonely rivers flow to the sea,_  
_to the sea_  
_to the open arms of the sea_  
_lonely rivers sigh 'wait for me, wait for me'_  
_I'll be coming home wait for me_

_Oh, my love_  
_my darling_  
_I've hungered for your touch_  
_a long lonely time_  
_and time goes by so slowly_  
_and time can do so much_  
_are you still mine?_  
_I need your love_  
_I need your love_  
_Godspeed your love to me_

Finn arrived at Rachel's house twenty minutes later, out of breath. He ran to the door, knocked and knocked but nobody answered. He decided to wait for her. He really wanted to tell her how he truly felt about her and the sooner would be the better.

He was pacing near the door, trying to find the best way to introduce himself and his song, when he saw a car approaching Rachel's house. His first instinct was to go hiding behind the cedar edge next to Rachel's house. Once hidden he saw the car pulling into the Rachel's house drive way. Surprised, he saw Puck coming out of the car.

When he said him, he instinctively wanted to punch his face off but he retained himself when he saw Rachel getting out by the other side of Puck's car. He could see that they had been talking but he was too far to understand what they were saying to each other. She seemed to be ok, more than ok, she was smiling. Then, they entered the house.

Finn didn't understand what was happening right now. Why was she with Puck and alone in her house with him. He knew the bad boy couldn't be trusted and he knew Rachel knew it too. Maybe she wanted to get him alone.

Finn saw lights opening in the house, the lights of the kitchen and the living room. At least, they weren't in her room doing god knows what. Finn couldn't help wondering what they were doing at the very moment.

Suddenly, images of Rachel and Puck making out on the couch, the same couch where they had so many tender nights, fingers intertwined and lost in each other eyes popped into his head. Trying to chase those illusions away, he walked toward the house quietly but stepped backward quickly, wondering if he really wanted to know what was going on inside, knowing that what he could see can ruin everything hope he had.

He decided to go to the house and clear everything up with Rachel even if it meant a tough encounter with Puck. He was ready to fight for her and he was determined to win her back.

As he was going to go to the house, the saw two silhouettes coming outside. Puck and Rachel came out of the house. He saw Puck getting closer to her and taking het into his arms. He held her tight.

He could see that they were talking but didn't understand them because he was too far from them. But what he definitely saw was the kiss Puck gave her. His mouth dropped open when he saw her accepting it and not pushing him away. He closed his eyes, not believing his own eyes. He turned his head, disgusted, and a tree branch cracked under his foot.

Conscious of his slip, he glanced at them. They were looking in his direction. He hoped they hadn't seen him. Fortunately for him, they hadn't seen his tall silhouette hidden in the bushes.

Even if he didn't want to, he took another glance at them. They were still talking and, suddenly, she jumped into his arms. Finn kept staring at them, their embrace was strangling him.

Few minutes later, he saw Puck leave. He saw a very emotional Rachel saying goodbye to him. Much more emotional than when she had said goodbye to him, he thought. Then, she went back into the house. Now that his time was come to act, he had no desire to do it. He should have seen it coming. But, what he saw and believed next broke his heart.

He saw Rachel came out of the house, all prepped up and getting into her car. She drove off as fast as she could; taking the same path that Puck had taken few minutes before.

With Rachel out of sight, Finn went to sit on the porch, trying to take in what he had just seen. Puck and Rachel! Rachel and Puck! God, he felt so stupid. The more he thought about it, the more he understood the mistake, the too soon, the I need time to heel… In Puck's arms, he completed for himself. Now, every pieces of the puzzle was taking its place. After all, Quinn had preferred Puck. Why would Rachel choose otherwise?

He had been so gullible. He laughed thinking at the word Rachel had told him the very same day. He had been played for the last time, he promised himself. Now it would be his time to play.

He fumbled into his coat's inside pocket, took the lyrics of _Unchained Melody_ and tore it apart. He let the shreds of papers fell around him and started to walk away from Rachel's house quickly.

No, he wasn't going to sing _unchained melody_ to her but another song popped in his head.

_Here we stand  
Worlds apart  
Hearts broken in two, two, two  
Sleepless nights  
losing ground  
I'm reaching for you, you, you  
_

_Feelin' that it's gone  
Can't change your mind  
If we can't go on  
To survive the tide  
Love divides_

Someday love will find you  
Break those chains that bind you  
One night will remind you  
How we touched  
And went our separate ways  
If he ever hurts you  
True love won't desert you  
You know I still love you  
Though we touched  
And went our separate ways

Troubled times  
Caught between confusions and pain, pain, pain  
Distant eyes  
Promises we made were in vain  
In vain, vain

If you must go  
I wish you love  
You'll never walk alone  
Take care my love  
Miss you love

Someday love will find you  
Break those chains that bind you  
One night will remind you  
How we touched  
And went our separate ways  
If he ever hurts you  
True love won't desert you  
You know I still love you  
Though we touched  
And went our separate ways

Someday love will find you  
Break those chains that bind you  
One night will remind you  
If he ever hurts you  
True love won't desert you  
You know I still love you

I still love you, girl  
I really love you, girl  
And if he ever hurts you  
True love won't desert you

His feet lead him to a place he didn't really want to be but out of choice and out for hope he knocked on the wooden door.

"_Hello lover boy. You finally came back to your senses_." said Santana inviting him inside, seductively.

"_You said you have an interesting offer for me!_" replied Finn staying on the porch.

"_Yes but fun first Finn_..." Santana said pulling him inside.

**Songs: ****Unchained Melody, by ****The Righteous Brothers**

** Separated ways, by Journey.**


	12. Tossing and Turning

**Hi every body! I know that some of you want to punch me right now. What can I say, I love drama, but no worries I remain a true Finchel believer… Keep on reviewing, I really love to read you guys. I hope you enjoy this one. Last one before they go back to school…**

**Chapter 12**

**Tossing and turning.**

The day after her encounter with Finn, Rachel woke up on the couch. Somehow, she was still waiting for him, longing to see him, for his kiss, for his touch. She hadn't changed her mind since yesterday. She still wanted to try to forgive him, to give him another.

She knew that it would be worth it because she knew Finn loved her too. After all, he had told her the day before and Kurt had confirmed it as well. She knew Kurt wouldn't lie about the matter of the heart. He knew how Finn was important to her. However, she was worried about him. She thought that, maybe, something had happened to him, something very serious that had prevented him to come to see her. So, she took matters into her own hands.

First, she called Finn on his cell phone, but he never answered. She decided to leave him a voice message, telling him that they had to talk and that she needed to see him, but he never called back. Few hours after her voice message, she sent him a text message saying the same thing, but he never replied to it either. Then, she started to really worry about him. She finally called at the Hummel household and left a message for Finn, asking him to call her back as soon as possible.

Kurt was watching television when Finn came downstairs after spending all day alone in his room. The tall boy came into the living room to get his coat.

"_Finn! How did it go with Rachel last night_?" asked Kurt.

Finn ignored Kurt as he put on his coat and opened the door to go outside.

"_Hudson? I am talking to you_!" Kurt asked again, a bit louder.

"_The only thing I have to say to you is; next time you want to play fairy god mother Kurt, shut up_…" Finn replied to Kurt slamming the door on his way out.

Kurt heard Finn starting his car and getting away from the house. He knew that something was wrong with his brother. He decided to call Rachel to know what had happened between them to make Finn feels so pissed.

Later that day, Kurt called Rachel to ask her how things had worked with Finn the night before. Surprised, she told Kurt that she had waited for hours but he had never showed up. She also told him she had left him many messages that had remained unanswered.

She finally asked Kurt if Finn was sick. Kurt told her that he was acting weird but he seemed totally healthy, physically at least. Kurt told her that Finn had been giving him the silence treatment.

"_So, you guys haven't met or talk_?" asked Kurt again, trying to understand why Finn had attacked him like he did.

"_No, I haven't seen or talk to him, not since the rink. I wish he'd call me back. I really wish we could talk before tomorrow, before getting back to school. I want really want us to have a fresh start._" Rachel replied to Kurt's question. "_If you see him could you ask him to call me back_?" added Rachel, asking Kurt to intercede in her favour.

"_I'll ask him to call you back if I see him, if he deigns speaking to me_" promised Kurt to Rachel.

"_Thanks Kurt. Tell him that he can call me anytime. I'll be waiting for his call all night if I have too_" replied Rachel gratefully.

They hung up.

Kurt was really lost. He couldn't understand why Finn had acted so rudely with him. If he hadn't spoken to Rachel, what the hell had he done last night? Kurt wanted to know and he would take measures to. He decides to wait in Finn's bedroom. That way, he would, first, be able to give him Rachel's message and, secondly, he would know what Finn had been up too. Maybe all of this was just a big misunderstanding...

It took a long time to Rachel to finally surrender to sleep. She kept tossing and turning in her bed, looking at her phone every five minutes to ensure herself that she hadn't missed Finn's call.

She couldn't help herself wondering why he had been ignoring her calls and why he had been acting weird with Kurt. She knew that if they got back together this time, it would be largely thanks to Kurt.

Midnight had rung when she finally fell asleep picturing her reunion with Finn, smiling. Tomorrow, she was sure to see him because tomorrow was back to school day. The day their new era would start. They would return being Finn and Rachel, glee power couple, force of nature. Tomorrow she would get the boy she loved back and become whole again.

Finn entered his house a bit after eleven o'clock. He took great care not the be heard or seen by his parents nor Kurt because he knew that if he did, he would be force to explain himself and explaining was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. He climbed the stairs quietly and entered his room.

He took his shirt off and opened the light.

"_Nice hour to get back home Finn_!" asked Kurt, sitting on the arm chair in Finn's room, arms crossed on his chest.

The tall boy jumped seeing Kurt.

"_What are you doing here? This is my private space Kurt you have no business being here_." replied Finn putting back his t-shirt on.

"_Is that a hickey I see on your neck_?" asked Kurt, not sure he had seen right, as he walked toward his brother to have a better view to it.

"_It is not your business_." Finn answered Kurt, roughly, replacing his collar.

"_I didn't think Rachel was the hickey type girl, but since you saw her, I can go back to sleep_." replied Kurt laughing, getting out of the room.

Finn grinned a little too loud. Kurt turned back his face to him.

"_What's so funny_?" asked Kurt seriously to his brother.

"_Who told you it was Rachel_?" replied Finn faking a big smile.

"_It can't be someone else Finn. She's the girl you love and she is been trying to reach you all day to talk to you. You guys talked, made up, hickey, it's the logical theory_." Kurt replied getting back into the room and walking closer to Finn.

"_You did call her back, didn't you?" _added Kurt once facing Finn.

"_No, I didn't_!" he replied dryly to a stunned Kurt.

"_She called you many times, she needed to talk to you, so why didn't you call her back_?" asked Kurt looking at Finn straight in the eyes.

"_I already know what she needed to tell me and I don't care about her anymore_" answered Finn, breath loudly, angry.

"_What? Tell me I heard you wrong. Did you just say what I think you said_." replied Kurt, as if he had been hit by a train.

"_Your sweet Rachel is with Puck now_." said Finn, looking straight at Kurt.

"_No, it can't be true_." replied Kurt, still stunned.

"_I saw them Kurt, I saw them together, kissing, with my own eyes. I can't be truer to me_!" replied Finn.

"_Now Kurt, leave me alone. I need to sleep, there's school tomorrow_." Finn added, pushing Kurt out of the room.

"_Maybe you misunderstood what you saw. There must a logical reason to all this." _said Kurt to Finn as he was dragged out of the room by a really pissed Finn.

"_I know what I saw and tomorrow she will see me doing just fine without her and with someone else_." replied Finn, forcing a smile.

"_Santana? The hickey is from Santana! You guys are dating? Since when? You can't do that to Rachel she..."_ Kurt said.

"_I can and I will. Rachel is with Puck and I'm with Santana, end of story."_ replied Finn trying to sound convincing.

"_You can't be serious Finn_?" said Kurt trying to reach out to Finn.

"_I've never been more serious. Rachel and I are over, period..._" Finn said trying to sound convincing.

_Now, I am really tired, so, get out_." Finn said, pushing Kurt outside of the room and shutting the door.

Kurt went back into his room still shaken. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Was Rachel really with Puck? No, it was impossible. Finn had probably misread a situation.

He lay down on his bed wondering if he should warn Rachel about the dark cloud hanging over her head. He decided not to wake her up at this hour, but tomorrow, he'd warn her and hoped he would be able to do it before the train crushes her.

Still angry at his brother for bringing up Rachel so soon after his discovery of last night, Finn took his clothes off and put on his pyjama. He lay down on his bed.

Even if he had let Santana play with his body during the entire hour they had spent together, he couldn't stop thinking about Rachel, Rachel with Puck. Anger sex would have been an easy way to get revenge but he didn't have the energy to resort to it. However, Santana had another agenda. She had kissed him fiercely, touching every inches of his body, sucking his neck angrily, to make him flinch but Finn didn't budge.

Santana had given him a way to go through his messy situation honourably. She had proposed him a partnership; a proposal to become the two most influent people in school, the very highest of McKinley high food chain ladder. This way, he would be the star quarterback who dated a hot and sexy cheerleader and not only a loser glee clubber who had lost his drama queen girlfriend to his former bad ass best friend, again. Scared of humiliation, not wanting to lose his reputation and seeing no other options, he decided to agree to Santana's terms. Rachel was with Puck from now on. If his heart was broken his reputation would remain and he would do anything to stay above water, to fly to the top even if it would mean lying to everyone. He would play hot couple with Santana but it would be it. It was going to be an agreement with no feelings involve. No, he would never fall in love with someone else, again.

Even if he was exhausted of the last few days and his lack of sleep, it took him some time to fall asleep. He kept tossing and turning, thinking about a way to fool anyone because he had too. Everyone had to believe that he, Finn Hudson, had decided to be with Santana and to stay away from Rachel the day after the party. He had to forget the truth and jump into the scheme. His only and deepest regret about all this was that he knew that he wouldn't be able to fool himself…


	13. Reality Check

**Chapter 13**

**Reality check**

Back to school day was finally there. For Rachel, it meant the day she would make peace with Finn.

Unable to sleep, she got out of bed at 5 am. She went downstairs to get her banana and flax seed oil mixture and drank it as slowly as she could. She waited, impatiently, until six to get on her elliptical. After her exercises, she took a shower and got dress. Unable to stay calm much longer, she decided to go to school early, she could always go to the auditorium and sing if she was too nervous, she knew that would calm her down.

She put her winter her coat and cap on and went outside. The time was a bit cold but sunny, promise of a great day. So, she went to her car and drove to school.

The school parking lot was nearly empty. She parked her car and got out of it. She walked quickly toward the big building that was Mc Kinley high and passed the school's doors. Then, she went to her locker and took her note pad; _from the desk of Rachel Berry_ and wrote a quick note: **Finn, I really need to talk to you before classes. I will wait for you in the auditorium**. She went to his locker and stuck the note on it. After, she went to the auditorium where she waited Finn.

At the Hummel household, Kurt was already ready to go to school, but Finn was still sleeping. So, Kurt decided to wake him up and have a little chat with his brother dear.

He knocked on Finn's door once, twice, three times before hearing "_I'm up_." from a grumpy voice on the other side of the door.

Finn took time to get dressed before opening the door to Kurt. He dressed himself in jean, white t-shirt and his football jacket. Then, he opened the door, still half asleep.

"_What do you want_?" asked Finn, grumpily.

"_I wanted to be sure you were ok_." asked Kurt, trying to touch his brother shoulder.

"_Why wouldn't I be_? _It's a new day, new start, a new hot girlfriend_" said Finn, trying to adjust his mask on. He knew that if he could fool Kurt, he could fool anyone.

"_Yeah, Casanova, speaking of your new girlfriend, when are you planning on telling your ex-girlfriend that you're dating Santana now_." Replied Kurt, worry about the reaction Rachel would have.

"_She will see it at the same time the others will but she'll probably be hanging too tightly on Puck's lips to notice_." replied Finn a bit too angry.

"_You are not warning her_?" asked Kurt, stunned.

"_Why would I? She didn't take the time to warn me before jumping into Puck's arms, so why would I warn her about Santana_." replied Finn a little bit too harsh to be natural.

Kurt looked at Finn suspiciously. It made Finn feel uncomfortable, as if he knew about the bargain that he and Santana had agreed to. He should have known that Kurt would see through him. He really would have to work hard if he wanted the others to believe that he was truly that into Santana.

"_What_?" asked Finn, feeling attacked by Kurt's cold gaze.

"_I think you should go easy on her. You'll see each other at school every day and you guys are glee club co-captains. I really think you should talk to her first_." replied Kurt trying to calm Finn down.

"_There won't be any problems Kurt but you won't know that since you are not going to McKinley anymore_." said Finn a bit arrogantly.

"_I hope you guys can work this out, for both of you_." Kurt said leaving Finn's room to go downstairs.

In the kitchen, eating breakfast, Kurt was thinking about Rachel and the reaction she would have after seeing Finn with Santana. Even if, indeed, Rachel was with Puck, what he wasn't really buying, he knew that Rachel would react intensely. He knew that, as her friend, he had to warn her. So, he took his cell phone and dialled Rachel's home number but got the answering machine. He didn't want to leave a message to worry her fathers. As a second option, Kurt dialled her cell phone number but without more success, but he decided to leave a message. He wasn't sure if he needed to be explicit or just give her a hint. He finally decided to take the band aid off quickly.

_Rachel, it'__s Kurt. I haven't much time, so I'll spill the beans; Finn is dating Santana and they are probably going to smear it down your face, I just wanted to warn you. One other thing, You and Puck? Really?_

Once he had left the message on Rachel voicemail, he took the last gulp of his orange juice and went to the living room to get his coat. At the same time, Finn was getting downstairs yawning and scratching his head. Kurt put on his coat. He didn't know if he should tell Finn about him warning Rachel. He didn't know if honesty would pay off but he chose it anyway.

"_I warned Rachel about you and Santana_." said Kurt, one hand on the doorknob.

"_You did what_?" replied Finn, angrily. "_I told you before, stop messing with my life Kurt_." added Finn and hand on his forehand.

"_I had too_." replied Kurt looking at Finn.

"_How did she took it_?" said Finn sighing, telling himself that maybe it was for the best, that maybe, this way, it wouldn't start World War III.

"_He didn't reach her but I left a message on her cell phone, so she'll learn it eventually_." added Kurt, opening the door. He went out of the house and left for Dalton Academy.

Finn stayed home a few more minutes after Kurt's departure. Knowing the time to leave would arrive before he would totally be ready to face the day, he forced himself to put his coat on and left the house. He knew that Santana was waiting for him at her house. They had planned that he would pick her up at seven thirty and they would arrived together at school, holding hands and more...

So, lamblike, he went to Santana's house and waited few minutes in his car waiting for her to get out of her house, all dressed up in her usual Cheerios uniform under her red short coat. She got into the car and kissed him, but Finn had no reaction.

"_Come on Finnocence, we have to practice to be believable_." said Santana, looking seductively at Finn as she put one hand on his leg, near his groin.

Finn let Santana kiss him without much participation. Once they were both back on their seat, ready to go, Finn accelerated and drove to McKinley high school, not quite the scenario they had planned would work. At this moment, he had to fully put his mask on.

The school parking lot was really crowed. As soon as she got out of the car, Santana came at Finn's side and griped his large hand tightly and Finn merely smiled dumbly to the people who began to stare at them.

"_But you hand on my lower waist Finnocence, this way, nobody will question our status_." said Santana guiding his hand down her back, deposing it slightly at the start of her buttocks.

Finn reluctantly agreed to Santana's request and soon he started to hear people whispering as they passed by.

Once in, they continued their parade and everybody kept starring at them, whispering louder. They went to Santana's locker to take her books. After, they went to Finn's to get his stuff. There, Santana saw Rachel note on her new toy locker, tore it and threw it on the floor.

"_We should go making out in the janitor closet_?" said Santana lowering a finger on Finn's torso.

Finn had no desire to spend time alone with Santana who would probably eat him alive in there. Opening his locker, he found the perfect way out.

"_Tempting, but I really need to get to class and look at something_." said Finn opening his USA History book, happy that he found his way out on this one.

"_I'll see you later_." He added giving her a quick kiss on the lips. Kiss that she decided to extend for everyone to see.

Finn stepped back after thirty seconds, out of breath. He looked around to see if Rachel had seen it. But, she was nowhere to be seen.

"_Bye baby_." said Santana sending him a kiss.

"Bye." replied Finn, looking at her as she walked away with Brittany.

Finn was relieved to see her go. He knew that Santana wouldn't be low maintenance but her PDAs would be the death of him.

Once Santana out of his sight, he took the little piece of paper that she had thrown on the floor and unfolded it. It was a message from Rachel, she was already at school and she wanted to see him in he auditorium before class. His body started to shake, God, he was not ready to face her yet. He hoped that studying would change his mind.

So, he went to his USA History class and sat on his chair. Seeing the chair next to his, he realized that he was sharing his desk with Rachel. The fact of seeing Rachel so close to him made him queasy. He left the class running. Santana had had a great idea: the janitor's closet.

He went to the janitor's closet and hid there for the entire first period. He preferred to face detention, if he was caught, better than facing Rachel. So, he sat there and waited.

Rachel waited as long as she could in the auditorium but she didn't want to be late for class. Furthermore, she would see Finn there because they were sharing their desk.

So, she left the auditorium and went to her USA History class. While getting there she saw people looking at her weirdly. She thought that maybe the win at sectionals had made people change their mind about new directions.

"_Berry, wait for_…" screamed Puck as he was running after her.

"_Sorry, Noah, I'll see you later_." replied Rachel interrupting him.

Before getting into her classroom, she stopped herself, took two deep breaths and she entered. She was disappointed to see Finn's bench unoccupied, but sat on hers and waited. Professor Hudler got into the room and closed the door, but Finn remained absent.

Their teacher didn't give them new stuff; he gave them some revision to do by themselves.

At nine o'clock, Professor Hudler left the classroom for a few minutes and, then, people started to talk. She didn't want to give attention to those gossips, but she turned her head toward one of the gossiper when she heard Finn's name.

"_Santana Lopez and Finn Hudson got it on during the holidays_." said one person.

"_Yeah, I heard they had steamy sex on Christmas night_." said another.

"_Lucky Hudson_, _he's finally going to know what a woman is_." said another, not seeing Rachel was eavesdropping.

Those comments hurt Rachel, but she told herself last year mistakes were last year mistakes. She truly wanted a fresh start and a future with Finn.

Then, professor Hudler came back and everybody stopped talking, putting their heads back into their books.

When she left her class, Rachel went back to the auditorium to wait for him, if he had had her message, he would knew where she was and she wanted to be there to welcome him.

At ten, after the first period, Finn got out of the janitor's closet and went to his second period classroom. Every body in the hallway was looking at him differently. People he didn't even know started to talk to him, to hi-five him as if he was a hero or something. Everybody was staring at him, boy impressed and every girl willingly. He felt like he was another Finn Hudson, one who wasn't weeping for Rachel Berry and somehow he liked it. Boys extended hand to him and girls kept starring at his body. It made him feel good about himself.

Then, he saw Rachel' silhouette leaving their USA History classroom. He went to hide into the nearest bathroom, hoping that she hadn't seen him. Luckily for him, she had not. Looking through the bathroom small door window, he saw her getting into the auditorium. So, he went to his next class safely.

After two periods, Rachel hadn't heard about Finn. In some way, she had, but what she had heard couldn't possibly be the truth. That truth would imply Santana and Finn becoming a real couple. She had heard things about them making out like two animals in the parking lot earlier today. She knew that it couldn't be the truth, people had the tendency to exaggerate things and Finn would never to that to her, he loved her, he had told her.

She decided to spend her lunch time in the auditorium, wishing he would come to see her but he didn't. She had lunch alone and went to her third and fourth periods without seeing Finn, but it was okay for her because she would see him in the choir room later.

To be sure that he wouldn't see Rachel during lunch time, Finn took Santana out for lunch, pretending that he wanted to be alone with her. She bought it and they went at _Bread's sticks_. They eat a lot and made out a little in the car in the school parking lot. Finn knew that this masquerade was the price to pay to get over Rachel's betrayal and to keep his reputation safe and he was partly willing to pay it.

At one o'clock, they got out of the car and Santana kissed him goodbye before faking to zip back his pants and went away. Looking at it, a lot of people looked at him with admiration and he just ran to the next class hoping he would not see Rachel.

He also succeeded to go to his fourth classroom without seeing the brown haired girl. However, he spent the whole period wondering how he would be able get alive out glee club practice once Rachel would face him and Santana. He knew she would be there and he knew that Santana would enjoy displaying their "_love_" in Rachel's face. World war III was coming soon…

Right after her fourth period, Rachel went straight to glee rehearsal's room. She hadn't arrived there first, Puck was already there, pacing.

"_Why didn't you call me back_?" asked Puck almost running to her.

"_I didn't get your call Noah_." Rachel answered, looking into her purse and seeing that she had left her phone home.

"_Why did you want to talk to me_?" asked Rachel zipping back her purse and looking at Puck.

"_To know how you are handling things_." answered Puck, taking her into his arms.

As Puck was holding her, taping her back, the other glee club members arrived, talking, but they stopped when they saw Rachel and Puck. They looked at them surprised.

"_So you two are together now_?" asked Quinn, a bit shocked.

"_They just like to switch partners_." replied Artie.

Rachel wasn't sure she had understood right.

"_No, Noah and I are just friends and who likes to switch partners_." Rachel asked Artie who turned red at Rachel's question.

"_So, you don't know_?" asked Mercedes, stunned.

"_Know what_." Rachel asked as she saw Mr. Shuster getting into the room. The only two people missing were Finn and Santana. Then, she got scared.

"_Who likes to switch partner guys_." repeated Rachel, looking at every each of them.

Then, her world crumbled down, she saw Santana getting into the room holding Finn's hand, smiling. Finn managed to look as smiling as her. She kept looking at them, mouth wide open. Finn went to sit in his usual bench and Santana came to sit on his lap. Rachel stayed there, unable to talk. Puck helped her to sit next to him, but she couldn't stop starring at the new couple.

Santana was quite happy with the expression on Rachel's face. She had succeeded to unbalance her opponent. Santana kept smiling while nibbling Finn's neck. Finn reminded there, sitting, motionless, not saying a world. Santana took his large hand and put it on her tight. Rachel turned herself to face Mr. Shuster who looked as surprised as she was.

"_I see thing have changed over the holidays, but our main objective remains. We have to battle and defeat Vocal adrenaline in Regionals. I don't think we'll have another chance next year if we fail this time_." said Mr. Shuster, trying to get them out of their stupor.

"_For starting our new year_, _I thought that maybe a duet could be a good idea_." Mr Shuster said. "_Finn, Rachel, co-captains, do you think you can manage it_." Their teacher asked them.

Rachel expression hadn't change. She was still out of it and Finn didn't have the courage to speak. So, Santana took charge of things.

"_Clearly, Rachel's cat got her tong, but mine has already been bounding with Finn's so I'll do the duet with him. In fact, I know a song that would suit us perfectly_." said Santana lifting herself from Finn's lap.

"_Baby, the drum_." Santana added, ordering him. Finn obeyed.

___**Finn**_

_What I like about you, you hold me tight  
Tell me I'm the only one, wanna come over tonight, yeah_

_**Santana**_

_You're whispering in my ear  
Tell me all the things that I wanna to hear, 'cause that's true  
That's what I like about you_

What I like about you, you really know how to dance (_**everybody laughed**__)  
When you go up, down, jump around, think about true romance, yeah_

_**Finn**_

_You're whispering in my ear  
Tell me all the things that I wanna to hear, 'cause that's true  
_

_**Both**_

_That's what I like about you  
That's what I like about you  
That's what I like about you_

_**Santana**__  
What I like about you, you keep me warm at night  
Never wanna' let you go, know you make me feel alright, yeah_

_**Finn**_

_You're whispering in my ear  
Tell me all the things that I wanna to hear, 'cause that's true_

_**Both**__  
That's what I like about you  
That's what I like about you  
That's what I like about you  
That's what I like about you (whispered)  
That's what I like about you (whispered)  
That's what I like about you (whispered)  
That's what I like about you (whispered)_

As they were singing, Santana kept turning around Finn with greedy eyes and he sang the song with energy. The fact of seeing Puck holding Rachel's hand made him want to be as convincing as he could be.

At first, the other glee club members didn't know how to react toward the new couple and the new situation, but the song was good, so they soon started clapping, laughing and dancing. Well, everyone except Puck and Rachel.

During the entire showdown, Rachel had kept looking at her feet, angry not to be the one singing with Finn. She didn't want to look at them at the moment, but if looks could kill, she would be a proud murderer.

Puck had stayed at her side, his hand on hers, as if he was trying to take a bit of her pain.

The song stopped and everybody applauded. Finn left his drum and came in front. Santana jumped into his arms and kissed him on the mouth. Surprised, he stepped back, getting Santana off him.

"_Great duet, what do you think guys_?" said Mr. Shuster who had come to join the new couple.

Everybody cheered.

Hearing the other glee club member congratulated the new couple crushed Rachel heart and pride. Before breaking into tears, she stormed out of the room.

"_Nice one guys_." Puck said looking at all of them, leaving the room to see Rachel.

It didn't take too long for Puck to find Rachel.

"_I knew you would be here_" screamed Puck as he entered the auditorium.

He walked to the stage where she stood, facing an imaginary audience, crying. Puck went close to her and held her.

Rachel let Puck rocked her a little and stepped out of his arms. Then, he went to the front row and sat.

"_Sing, Berry, Sing_!" asked Puck.

_Do you know where your heart is?  
Do you think you can find it?  
Or did you trade it for something  
Somewhere better just to have it?  
Do you know where your love is?  
Do you think that you lost it?  
You felt it so strong, but  
Nothing's turned out how you wanted_

Well, bless my soul  
You're a lonely soul  
Cause you won't let go  
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need  
Is the air I breathe  
And a place to rest  
My head

Do you know what your fate is?  
And are you trying to shake it?  
You're doing your best and  
Your best look  
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul  
You're a lonely soul  
Cause you won't let go  
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need  
Is the air I breathe  
And a place to rest  
My head

I said all I need  
Is the air I breathe  
And a place to rest  
My head

Do you think you can find it?  
Do you think you can find it?  
Do you think you can find it?  
Better than you had it  
Do you think you can find it?  
Do you think you can find it?  
Do you think you can find it?  
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I said I all I need  
Is the air I breathe  
And a place to rest  
My head

I said all I need  
Is the air I breathe  
And a place to rest  
My head

Do you know where the end is  
Do you think you can see it?  
Well, until you get there  
Go on, go ahead and scream it  
Just say it

After the song, he went back to her and took her in his arms again.

"_You know that I could be your fake boyfriend_." Pucks said whipping her tears away.

"_No Noah! It would be wrong because you do have feelings for me. I… I…"_ said Rachel, stepping out of his embrace.

"_You still love him, don't you_?" interrupted Puck angrily.

"_Yes. As much as I'd like to say no I can't."_ replied Rachel, looking at Puck, arms crossed on her chest.

"_Didn't you see the fault in their duet; it was false because they are false. Up beat tempo is okay for them, but a sweet love song wouldn't be believable. Love his about tenderness and I don't think they are capable of such a thing_." Rachel added.

"_So, you will fight for that dumbass."_ said Puck sighing loudly.

"No, _I still have feeling for him. I think that somewhere, somehow, I will always wait for him, but I need to stick with my resolutions, that and the fact that I have no chance against "superhot" Santana, no way I could give him want she can _." said Rachel.

"_You should think more of yourself Miss Berry_." said Puck hugging her.

Stepping back of each other, they walked out of the auditorium. They walked until they reached the choir room.

"_I don't really feel like going in there._" said Rachel to Puck.

So Puck went to the choir room and came out quickly.

"_I am getting you home_." said Puck offering his arms to Rachel.

She took it. They went to her locker to get her stuff. Once her coat on and her luggage in hand, they went out of the school and got into Puck's car.

Puck drove her home and she got off the car.

"_You sure you're ok_?" asked Puck, on hand still on the steering wheel.

"_Yeah, I've got a lot of work to do. I just need to keep my mind busy_." replied Rachel closing the door of Puck's car.

"_I'll pick you up tomorrow_." Puck said, after lowering the glass on Rachel's side of the car.

"_I'll be ready._" said Rachel. "_Thanks for everything Noah_." she added, grateful.

Puck responded with a wide smile. He lifted the glass back up and Rachel watched the car going away.

Once Puck's car out of sight, she went into the house and took her winter garments off. She went into her room with her luggage and sat on her work table. She took out a book out of her luggage. She hopped USA History would get her mind off Finn...

Finn was sitting in the choir room, holding hands with Santana. They were listening to Sam singing tanding up before Quinn.

Lost in his mind, he wondered what was going on with beetween Rachel and Puck. They had been gone for a while now.

"_They're probably in the janitor's closet, making out, to get even_." Santana whispered in his hear as if she had heard his thoughts.

"_She's done that before, remember_." Santana added whispering.

Then, she played with Finn's ear lobe with her teeth. Finn stepped back, surprised by Santana attack, whipping his hears with his jacket.

Then, he saw the door open. Puck entered the room and went directly to Mr. Shuster. Finn saw the bad boy saying something to the teacher. Then, Mr Shuster tapped Puck's shoulder and Puck went out the class.

Sam's song ended.

"_Is there another volunteer_?" said Mr. Shuster.

"_I think it is Puck's turn_." Finn said dumbly, faking he hadn't seen Puck leave.

"_Puck is gone_" said Mr Shuster. "_Someone else_?" he added.

"_Where did he go Mr Shu_.?" asked Finn, trying to sound as dumb as he could.

"_He brought Rachel home, she wasn't feeling well_." answered the teacher as he looked at the clock.

"_Okay guys, we'll call it a day, but see you all on Thursday, we need to settle the song selections for Regionals, we have a lot of work to do_." added Mr. Shuster waving hands to his gang.

Everybody left, except Finn and Santana. Santana sat on Finn, facing him, her legs on each side of his hips.

"_What do you say we have dinner out, your treat, but maybe you're in the mood to eat something else_?" Santana said, kissing him greedily.

He pulled away from the kiss. He whipped his lips.

"_We are alone, there's no need to kiss me like that Santana_." said Finn, pushing her of him gently not to make her fall on the floor.

"_Relax Finnonence, we're having fun, remember_?" replied Santana smiling.

"_Stick to believable lies._" thought Finn. Then, he thought; USA History.

"_Sorry, but I have to study. Mr. Hudler is giving us a test based on revision tomorrow and I really need to study."_ he answered Santana.

"_You are no fun_." replied Santana, sulking.

Then, they left the choir room holding hands. Finn went to get his USA History book, to be more believable, and they went to Finn's car.

He drove Santana back home. He let her kiss him. Santana visibly wanted more than just kissing, but he was not in the mood for heavy make out. She finally got out of the car, five minutes after, and got into her house.

He drove to his house. When he arrived, he saw that Kurt wasn't home yet. He got out of his car, walked toward the house and got in. He took off his coat and went to his room, his pack back in on hand.

Then, he sat on his bed, took his USA history book out of his backpack. He hopped that studying would help get Rachel and Puck out of his mind. Little did he know that a tornado was approaching, a tornado named Rachel Berry.

**Songs: What I like about you by The Romantics**

**Say (All I need) by One republic.**


	14. Volcano meets Tornado

**Chapter 14**

**Volcano meets Tornado**

Rachel was trying to concentrate on her studies when her phone rang. She took her purse on her bedside table, but remembered that she had forgotten it at home this morning.

She tried to remember where she had lost it. She looked on her desk, but there was no phone on it. She turned the room upside down to find hit, throwing accessories and clothing everywhere. Desperate, she put one knee down and she saw her phone. Then, she remembered; she had her phone in hand last night when she fell asleep, waiting for Finn's call. It must have slipped while she was sleeping. Furthermore, she had been so anxious to get to school this morning that she had forgotten to pick it up.

At this moment, Rachel relived her day backward. First, she had been so hopeful thinking about Finn this morning. Now, she couldn't believe the ugly and hurtful truth. She kept wondering why he had lied to her, telling her, only few days ago, that he loved her and that he would love her as long as she loved him. What virus had possessed him to act like he was acting now? She guessed on a highly infectious disease starting by S, like slut! She would have wanted to know why he had done this, hooking up with Santana and now dating her, but she hadn't found the strength to do it. If she had, Finn would have left in ambulance, a drum stick pinned into his chest.

She took her phone and looked at her messages. There was one from Kurt received this morning; he was warning her about Finn and Santana. There were many from Puck asking her to come to see him at his locker and the last one was from Kurt, few minutes ago.

She jumped when her phone rang once again.

"_Rachel, it's Kurt. How are you_?" Asked Kurt worried.

"_I'm still shocked, but show must go on as we say_." Rachel replied, knowing that Kurt would understand her expression perfectly. "_Thanks for warning me too, even if I just got it, it was very thoughtful of you_." added Rachel, gratefully.

"_You didn't get my message_? _How did you find out_?" asked Kurt, waiting her answer, impatiently.

"_The most hurtful way you can ever imagined_." replied Rachel. "_They arrived at glee club practice all over each other. He soiled our heaven Kurt_." Rachel replied, angrier than sadder.

"_Why don't you come over so we could talk; I am pretty sure you could use an ear to talk to right now and I have a few questions for you my dear_." asked Kurt, hopping that she would accept his offer.

"_I don't think it's a good idea Kurt_." answered Rachel. "_I spent many memorable moments at your house and I don't think I am ready to relive them yet and what if I come face to face with Finn, I don't know what I could do to him right now_." added Rachel angrily.

"_Finn's car is not in the garage nor the driveway, so he isn't home. To be sure you won't see him, we could stay in the basement that I just decorated; you could tell me what you think of it. No hurtful memories, just two friends talking. What do you say_?" Kurt asked Rachel, deep concern in his voice.

"_Okay, if you say that He isn't home, I'll come. I really could use a friend right now_." Replied Rachel, still not sure she had done the right thing by accepting Kurt offer.

"_Knock on the side door; I'll be waiting for you_." replied Kurt gently.

"_I'll be there in thirty minutes_." replied Rachel before hanging up.

She hopped that she hadn't made a big mistake by accepting Kurt's rendez-vous, but she didn't think anything could make her feel worst than she was now, this meeting could only calm her down. She was wrong…

After Rachel hung up, Kurt went to the kitchen and put few canapés in the oven. He took a bottle of cider out of the refrigerator, took two wine glasses and went downstairs with it.

In the basement, he settled up a table for his encounter with Rachel. She needed some cheering up and he would give her some.

Twenty five minutes later, he went back to the kitchen and prepared a platter with the canapés and went back to the basement with it. He put some light background music.

Then, he heard weak knocks on the side door.

Kurt answered to a breathless Rachel who had visibly walked quickly until there. He welcomed her with a tight hug. Then, he helped her take her coat off. He guided her in the basement and invited her onto the couch. Once she was sitting, hands on her legs, Kurt brought the canapé and the cider.

"_Kurt, you setting is wonderful_." said Rachel, smiling shyly.

"_I thought you needed to be groomed a little after the day you just had_." replied Kurt, sitting next to her, holding her a glass of cider.

"_It's started as a promising day actually. I really thought that I would see Him so we can make up. How stupid of me_!" said Rachel, trying to keep her anger down.

"_Then, everybody started gossiping about Him and her, but I chose to ignore it, in faith of a new beginning with Him_." She added angrier.

"_But, the curtain fell on glee club practice. They sang together, in my choir room, my castle, Kurt. They couldn't stay away from each other, rubbing their proximity in my face. I stormed out, I couldn't take it anymore. I was just so sad and hurt by His behaviour_." added Rachel, tears of anger falling from her eyes, letting them fall freely.

"_I don't know if I can take their "acting" much longer Kurt_." replied Rachel, exasperated.

"_I could always transfer_." said Kurt, laughing.

Rachel looked at him seriously.

"_It was joke, Rachel. I was just trying to loosen up your anger_." He replied, patting on of her hand.

"_To continue my story, Puck came to see me in the auditorium and he brought me home. I've been trying to study USA History ever since I arrived home, but dates and discoveries are the last thing on my mind right now_." finished Rachel, taking a gulp of cider.

Kurt had listened to her whole story, patting her hand, caressing it friendly. At the mention of Puck's name he stiffened, the time was come to ask her his question.

"_What is exactly the type of yours and Puck's relationship_?" asked Kurt after taking a gulp of cider.

"_We are friends, good friends_." answered Rachel feeling attacked by Kurt assumption.

"_Nothing more? I am not jugging you Rachel. I am only asking you because I heard otherwise and I wanted to hear your side of story_." said Kurt, kindly, patting Rachel hands once again.

"_Where did you hear such a lie_?" asked Rachel angry.

"_Two days ago, did you say or did something that could be misread or misunderstood_." Kurt asked her curious.

Rachel went back two days ago, the rink, the evening with Puck and the kiss he had given her.

"_Puck kissed me that night, but I also told him that I loved Him and he told me to listen to my heard, you heard the song Kurt_." Rachel said, relating her actions of that night.

Then, she remembered, the cracking…

Kurt looked at her, lifting his hand on his forehead.

"_Wait! Don't tell me that He saw it_?" added Rachel.

Kurt didn't reply. She knew she had guessed right. All this, all of this mess, all this hurting was a stupid misunderstanding.

"_Nonetheless, I had just told him, the day before, that I loved him. He should have known that I wasn't lying, he knows me; I thought he did. I was wrong visibly. He should have had more faith in me_." said Rachel, lifting herself from the couch.

"_You know how Finn is sensitive when it comes to Puck; with Quinn and your past histories with him, he told you before_." pleaded Kurt on his brother behalf.

"_But he knew I loved him, he should have come to me, he should have trusted me_." Rachel replied before being interrupted by a Volcano.

Finn had fallen asleep after reading only three pages of his history book. He got out of his bed, stretching. His stomach started grunting, so he went downstairs. A delicious smell was coming from the kitchen. He opened the door of the oven and saw that it was empty. He knew his mother wasn't home because, earlier, she had come to warn him that she would take their car for an extra shift at the hospital and he knew that Burt would take advantage of this occasion to work late at the garage. The responsible of this baking could only be Kurt.

So, he went upstairs. He knocked on Kurt bedroom's door softly, but no one answered. Pressing his hear to the door and hearing no noise, he decided to enter, but Kurt wasn't in his room.

Then, he thought that maybe Kurt was downstairs, in the basement. He went down the stairs and went toward the basement door. There, he heard some light music. He didn't know if he should go in; maybe Blaine had come over and he wasn't ready to see an all male make out cession. He was okay with Kurt being gay, but a make out cession would too much information. However, he was very hungry, so he pressed his ear to the door. He heard two people talking; a boy and a girl. So, he decided to open the door, but he froze when recognize the girl's voice to be Rachel's.

"_What is She doing here_?" asking Finn for himself.

Then, he froze even more hearing her words.

"_He knew I loved him, she should have come to me, he should have trusted me_!" said Rachel.

Loved him; she had said loved him. He had heard the verb she had used, but only the past tense buzzed loudly into his head, remaining stuck deep into his throat, strangling him. His throat was burning; he had to talk, to let his rage flow on the person responsible for his pain.

"_And keep you away from Puck; you guys make such a lovely couple_." Finn replied ironically, in an angry way, to Rachel who abruptly rose from the couch hearing his voice.

"_Kurt, you told me H__e wouldn't be here_." replied Rachel, half mad, half hurt.

"_I didn't know Rachel, I swear_." answered Kurt, sincerely

"_You invited her here_." asked Finn in disbelief, approaching them.

"_She's my friend_." replied Kurt to his brother, getting between them.

"_You are choosing her side over mine_." asked Finn to Kurt, angrily.

"_There's no need of drawing lines, we are not at War, Finn_." replied Kurt calmly, trying to calm his brother down.

While Finn was screaming at Kurt, Rachel's anger kept turning and turning inside her and soon she let the wind of her wrath hit Him.

"_You have started it. You tell me you love me and that you want me back, but you go and bang Santana the minute after_." screamed Rachel getting past Kurt and standing in front of Finn.

"_I haven't done anything that Puck and you haven't. I am not blind, nor deaf. I saw things. I heard thing. I saw the two of you kissing two nights ago. I also saw the way you ran after him after, like a dog, it was disgusting, you should have more self esteem when it comes to man Rachel_..." replied Finn defending himself by attacking her back, louder and getting closer to her.

She had guessed right. He had seen Puck kissing her and he had seen her leave frenziedly after, but he had preferred to believe the evidence over asking her.

If she had been acting like a dog that night, he was acting like a pig now. She couldn't let him insult her like that without getting even. She decided to tell him the truth even if he wasn't ready for it.

"_That's the problem with you. You believe what you see and what your mind foreseen to be the absolute truth. Even after I told you that I love you, but that I needed time and you didn't trust me enough to believe it. You assumed the worst of me. You chose to believe your insecurities over me, you scared little boy. You always play the victim and I am always the tormentor. If you had had more faith in me, we, we could have got pass through this, but you choose facility over me, over believing me!"_ said Rachel lowing her tone.

Finn couldn't respond to her truth. He just stood there, starring at her. She was so eloquent, so beautiful, so full of life, but, also, so true. She really knew him like no one else. She had promised him once to always be honest with him, painfully so, and she was keeping her promise.

Rachel looked at a dumbfounded Finn. Obviously, he didn't know what to reply to the truth. Emptying her heart to Him made her feel better and, at this moment, she felt calmer, but also sad for him however, she kept starring at him. After few seconds, she turned herself to Kurt.

"_Thanks for the meal Kurt, but I am not hungry anymore. I have heard enough idiocy. I am going home_." Rachel replied to Kurt.

She ran upstairs. Kurt followed her, but Finn remained in the basement.

Once on the first floor, Rachel put her white cashmere coat and bonnet on and thanked Kurt once more for the chitchat.

"_I am sorry for him_." said Kurt, a hand on the doorknob.

"_I'll be okay! I have already survived Finnastrophies, what's another one. I'll get stronger_." replied Rachel calmer.

"_But I am worried about him. I am afraid Santana his changing him for worst. Take care of him for me would you_?" added Rachel, touching his shoulder.

"_I will. Take care of yourself too_." replied Kurt as he looked at her getting out of the house and walking away.

As soon as Rachel left, Kurt went downstairs to find Finn, but the tall guy was already walking up the stairs. He looked pretty knock out, as if he had received a brick on the head.

"_Is she gone_?" asked Finn scratching his head in disbelief, letting himself fall on the couch.

"_Yeah, she is walking home as we speak. You really have the way with girls."_ replied Kurt seating next to his brother.

Finn went next to the window and looked outside.

"_She's walking_? _What happened to her car_?" asked Finn.

"_I don't know. We hadn't talked much went you barge in Rambo_." replied Kurt, pissed.

Finn went to the wardrobe and put on his coat quickly without zipping it.

"_Where are you going_?" asked Kurt, rising off the couch.

His question reminded unanswered because Finn was already gone.

Kurt walked closer to the window and saw Finn getting into his SUV and leave. He hopped that his brother wasn't having a hormonal urge and that his car wouldn't smell Santana's essence next morning.

Finn drove one minute before reaching the white cashmere with bonnet spot he wanted to reach. He stopped the car next to her.

Rachel stopped walking and went near the car recognizing Kurt's SUV. She opened the door.

"_You're such a gentleman, I'_..." said Rachel, but froze when she saw Finn's face instead of Kurt's.

Then, she slammed the door loudly and started to walk quicker. Seeing her ignoring him, Finn lowered the car's window on the passenger side and followed her.

"_Let's make a truce Rachel; it's cold and dark outside._" said Finn, pleading.

Rachel kept walking, ignoring Finn's pleading.

"_You can either choose to stay out in the cold or get in. I'll follow you or I'll drive you home, like it or not_." said Finn seriously.

She walked a bit and he followed her, as he said he would, glass still lowered, keeping an eyes on her.

After a moment, and because she was wearing on of her short skirt, her legs started to freeze. She finally decided to get in at a stop sign.

Once Rachel on board, Finn lifted up the window and drove her home.

They reminded silent, not even looking at each other. Finn stopped in front her house and she went out the car. He lowered the car's window to see her get home.

He stayed until she safely was in the house and a little bit more after that. He stayed until he saw her bedroom light open. Then, he drove home like a sad puppy.

Although they didn't even talk to each other and even after the huge fight they had just had, driving Rachel home had been the nicest moment of his day. Deep into his guts, he knew he would always long to see her, to sit next to her, for her to be safe. He knew that Rachel's wasn't anybody's dog, but he was hers.

When Rachel arrived into her room, she noticed that there were still lights in front of her house. She went to the window and saw that Finn was still there. After few minutes, the SUV finally went away.

She felt so torn at the moment. She wanted to be mad at him, to hate and despise him, but she couldn't. She also knew that she would only hurt herself more if she kept hopping about them getting together anytime soon; he was with Santana and there was no way he could choose to come back to prude Rachel after being with libidinous Santana.

They had just had a horrible fight. He had been nasty with her and her with him, slapping each other with their own version of the truth, but they still cared about each other sanity and safety. She knew that they still had feelings toward one another even if now was not the time to express it.

She knew she had to do something that would force her to stay away from Finn, to keep her distance and accept her loneliness or she would certainly get lost into his eyes. She really wondered how she would be able to achieve that.

Kurt had mentioned the transfer option as a joke, but she was seriously considering it now, but never would she joined Carmel high, the only thought of it made her want to puke. No, she had to see further than that, further then Lima, Ohio. She had to stick to her dream, the dream she'd been cherishing way before Finn…

Then, she started to dream, dreaming to accepted in a great art school in New-York Coty.

She went on Internet and visualized some art schools and programs. For fun, she even filled one application. To be accepted art NYC art scene academy, the administration was also requesting for videos which Rachel had plenty, the very best being the song she had sung on her singing meetings with Puck in the passed few weeks.

She filled every paper she had to. She even prepared an envelope filled with her videos and addressed it to the director of NYC art scene academy. Smiling to her dream, she left it on desk and went to take a shower. When she got out of the shower, she studied a bit of History and went to sleep.

That night, she dreamed of being the star she had always wanted to become. She smiled through her dream, knowing that it was all it was, but hoping that, one day, she could live it for real.


	15. Unlikely to succeed

**Chapter 15**

**Unlikely to succeed**

Almost three days had passed at McKinley High. Finn and Rachel hadn't talked since the debacle in the Hummel's basement and Finn bringing her back home. She had seen him in their common USA History class. Surprisingly, Finn had come to sit next to her, but he hadn't spoken to her and neither did she. At the end of the class, they had picked up their books and their fingers touched for few seconds. Rachel felt electricity passing through her fingers. They had looked at each other for a minute. Then, Finn had taken his books and had run away.

Rachel had tried to do her usual things, faking, for the others, that she was fine without Finn, but she couldn't fool herself. Even if she would have loved to despise Finn Hudson, she couldn't resolve herself to it, her heart was still his.

She really appreciated Puck's help. She had spent a lot of time with him during the last days. She was really grateful for his presence.

They had been spending a lot of time together in the auditorium. The auditorium had become her only place she could be herself, since the choir room had been taking hostage by the new power couple, and express what she truly felt. However, she didn't feel like signing right now. No hope; no signing.

On his side, the bad boy knew what would cure her, but he was reluctant to do it. He really had come to like Rachel and he thought that maybe, if Finn persisted to be the dumbass he had become, she would give a change one day. So, he had decided to wait.

However, Puck didn't have to wait much longer for Rachel to reach the bottom of the barrel. She did it the same week, on Thursday, on glee club rehearsal day at lunch time.

"_I don't think I'll be going to glee this afternoon_." Rachel told Puck, sounding very serious.

Hearing her, Puck strangled himself with his sandwich.

"_You are kidding me, right_!" he said to her, not believing what she had just told him.

"_There's no reason for me to be there anymore. I don't really feel like signing and I am not sure I want to see Finn drooling on Santana_." said Rachel crossing her arms on her chest.

"_You can't do that to us! We have to win Regional's or the club is over, remember_!" said Puck rising from his chair.

"_I am not saying that I don't want to be part of glee club anymore. Seeing them together, seeing them touching each other hurts, more than I thought it would. I think that somewhere, in all this mess, I lost my voice Noah_." she replied still sitting on her chair, not looking at him. "_You'll tell Mr. Shuster for me, Noah, will you_." asked Rachel to Puck.

Puck went back sitting next to her and patted her hand. He knew he had to do something even if it meant losing his chance with her. Deep down, he knew that Finn loved her too and he really wanted her to be happy, so he was willing to help them, to push destiny a little, Puck's style.

An idea rose into his head and he knew exactly what he had to do for her to get her voice back.

He finished his sandwich and excused himself to Rachel, pretending he had a phone call to make, and left the auditorium.

Once out of the auditorium, he called Mercedes.

"_We need to have a glee meeting, now_!" Puck said before saying Hi to Mercedes.

"_Hi to you to Puckerman, Can't it wait until the rehearsal later today_." answered Mercedes, annoyed.

"_No it can't, we need to talk now_." said Puck dryly. "_I'll be waiting in the choir room. Mercedes, don't bring the new happy couple with you and don't forget Mr. Shuster, he needs to be there too_." Puck added before hanging up and walked toward the choir room.

Puck was tapping foot when Mr. Shuster, Mercedes, Tina, Artie and the others walked into the choir room. They stopped in front of Puck who was sitting on a chair in the front row. They all looked at him pissed.

"_Guys, we have a big problem_." said Puck looking at everyone. "_I suggest you sit down for this one_." added Puck

Everybody was looking at him, waiting the bomb. He decided to exaggerate the truth to make a bigger impact.

"_Rachel is quitting glee_." said Puck scratching his forehead.

Everyone was looking at him, shocked. They all sit down at the same time.

"_Are you sure about this_?" asked Mr. Shuster.

"_She told me that she lost her desire to sing, her voice, and we all know who's fault that is_." replied Puck angrily.

"_We need to do something guys or glee club is over for sure_." said Tina almost breaking in tears.

"_Maybe Santana can replace Rachel_." said Brittany serious.

The whole group looked at her, sighing.

"_Do you really think that Santana can sing a ballad as powerfully as Rachel can_?" asked Puck looking at the dumb blond, standing up as a sign of protest.

"_Puck is right, without Rachel, we're doomed. We need to do something_." said Mercedes joining Puck standing up.

"_I have an idea_." said Puck as everyone came closer to him. "_She thinks she lost her place in glee and she is devastated because she lost Finn. We need to make her see that she is still Rachel Berry; that she still is a star. We have to make her see that Finn didn't totally forget about her_." added Puck.

"_And how do you want to do that, Mr. Genius_?" said Artie, crossing his arm on his chest.

"_They have to sing together, to face in music, then sparks will fly and bingo_!" replied Puck, proud of himself.

"_But Finn loves Santana now_." replied Sam.

"_I am not talking to you bottle blond_." Puck said looking angrily at Sam. "_Do you really think that Finn really cares about Santana_? _If you do, loosing Regional's is the last of your worry_." replied Puck. "_The only problem is I don't have any idea of the song they should sing_." said Puck, scratching his forehead.

"_I know who will_." said Mercedes taking her cell phone.

She pressed on one of her speed dial number.

"_Hey, it' me, I've got a question for you, we need a duet for Finn and Rachel_." asked Mercedes speaking in her cell phone.

"_Yeah, sounds good, perfect, thanks Kurt_." said Mercedes hanging up.

"_Guys, I have the perfect song_." said Mercedes happily.

"_What about Santana? She won't let her 'Finnoncence' sing a duet with Rachel_." said Quinn looking straight at Puck.

"_I'll take care of Santana_." said Puck putting his hand in his pockets. "_You guys bring Finn and Rachel her at four and show on_…" added Puck, looking at everyone.

"_Deal_." said Mercedes putting a hand on Puck's shoulder.

Then, they decided that Artie would be responsible for bringing Finn into the choir room and Mercedes and Tina would take care of bringing Rachel, willingly or by force Then, Mr. Shuster's authority and their loyalty would be their downfall, it was perfectly plan.

Finn's fourth class was English. He couldn't stop looking at the clock, not paying attention to a word Mrs. Jones, their teacher, was saying. He couldn't stop thinking about glee practice. Soon, he would see Rachel and he didn't know what he would tell her. He felt very bad about what had happened on Monday night. He hoped that driving her home had counted for something.

Although, he knew that things couldn't go back the way they were last year. As much as he wanted it, he knew it wasn't possible. She had hurt her, he had hurt her. But as bad as he was hurting, he couldn't imagine his life without Rachel Berry in it.

Lost in his mind, he didn't saw the others raising up and getting out of the room. He jumped when he saw Artie rolling next to him.

"_Finn, Mr. Shuster wants to see you right now_." Artie said to Finn as the tall boy was putting his books in his backpack.

"_I have to wait for Santana first_." replied Finn, resigned.

"_No, I saw her leaving earlier. I heard her telling someone that she wasn't coming to glee today_." said Artie, hoping Finn would see he was lying.

"_Weird, she didn't tell me_!" replied Finn scratching his head.

"_Girls, Finn, Girls_…" Artie said, taking Finn's backpack and rolled with it on his knees toward the choir room.

Finn followed Artie, almost running behind him.

Santana was waiting for Finn pressed on her locker when someone came from behind and put his hand on her eyes. Thinking it was Finn, she turned herself to kiss him. She stopped her movement when she saw Puck.

"_I'd think you'd be more pleased to see a real man."_ said Puck pressed on Santana's locker.

"_Hudson is my man_." whispered Santana, looking in Puck eyes, licking her lips.

"_Correction, Finn is a boy, but you need a man_." he said, bring his face closer to hers, but she stepped back.

"_Don't tell me he makes you scream like I used to do_." he said touching her face, taking her hands and dragging her in the janitor's closet.

Once in the closet, Puck kissed her gently on the mouth, on the neck. She let him do it, craving for action that Finn wasn't giving her.

"_Close your eyes_." Puck told her moaning.

Santana closed her eyes, but didn't feel anything. She opened her eyes and Puck was gone. She tried to get out, but she couldn't; Puck had locked her up in the janitor's closet.

After her fourth period, Rachel was going to her locker to get and stuff and go home, when Mercedes and Tina took arms.

"_Hey beautiful, Mr. Shuster wants to see you now in the choir room_." said Mercedes dragging her toward the choir room helped by Tina.

Rachel didn't resist them. They were two and they were stronger than her. So, she let them dragged her into the choir room against her will.

When she stepped into the room, the other glee club members were there including Mr. Shuster. Rachel sat down in her usual spot and Mercedes in Tina sat next to her, very closely, too closely for it to be natural.

Then, she heard wheels and footsteps approaching the room. So, she turned her head and saw Artie and Finn coming into the room.

When Finn saw Rachel, his gaze dropped quickly and he went to sit in the back row of the choir room.

"_Okay guys, I found the perfect song for Regional's. It is a duet and we need to be well represented if we want a chance to win, to beat Vocal Adrenaline and to be back next year. As you know, Glee club had helped you guys to grow and to feel accepted. We have the responsibility to continue this tradition. We are family and families stick for each other. I thought that our two co-captains could represent us. Finn, Rachel_. "Mr. Shuster said inviting them to come next to the piano.

"_Mr. Shuster, with all du respect, I don't think it's a good idea_." Rachel said, walking toward Mr. Shuster, taking the music sheets from his hands.

"_We have to Rachel, For the sake of the club. Others need us_." Finn replied as he rose from his chair and came closer to Rachel.

He took the sheets of music and smiled slightly. This song would be easy. It would allow him to take off his mask for about four minutes.

"_Let's forget about our problems, for a song. We have to do it Rach_." said Finn gently, looking at her. He put on hand on her shoulder.

Hearing the nickname and feeling electricity passed through his hand, she lifted her face and looked at him. He was smiling, shyly, almost pleading her to sing with him.

She took one deep breath and went to place herself on the right side of the piano, her shaking hands holding the music's sheets. Finn went to the left side of the piano, shaking as well. Then, Mr. Shuster made a sign to Brad to start playing.

**Rachel:**

_How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace  
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh  
You're the only one who really knew me at all_

How can you just walk away from me,  
when all I can do is watch you leave  
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears  
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space  
And there's nothing left here to remind me,  
just the memory of your face  
Just take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space  
And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face.

_**Finn**_

_I wish I could just make you turn around,  
turn around and see me cry  
There's so much I need to say to you,  
so many reasons why  
You're the only one who really knew me at all_

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space  
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face  
Just take a look at me now, cos there's just an empty space

_But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face  
Just take a look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here  
And you coming back to me is against all odds  
It's a chance I've got to take.  
_  
**Both**:

_Just take a look at me now _

During the whole song, they had been starring at each other, shouting to, screaming at each other. Except for the last verse, where they had met at crossed road, at the far end of the piano, where they had taken each other's hands.

Rachel couldn't help crying after her verses. She had never felt so alive but so hurt at the same time, facing Finn, facing her emotions, living them out loud.

Finn had let his mask fall. He had lived the song like no other before. He had put his heart and soul spilled on the floor. During the song, he hadn't thought one single time about the glee club's salvation, no, he had only thought about Rachel; only Her could have that effect on her.

When the music stopped, everybody was starring at them. They all reminded silent, knowing that they had witnessed a memorable performance. They did not clap or talk fearing to ruin the moment for the two performers who had just shared something real.

"_I think we just found our opening number for Regional's. It was perfect guys_." said Mr. Shuster, breaking the heavy silence.

As Mr. Shuster started to speak, Rachel's and Finn's hands left one another's. Their faces turned red, but they stayed in the middle of the room close to each other.

"_That's enough for today, but special rehearsal at four o'clock tomorrow. We still got to find two other numbers for Regional's. Finn, Rachel, try to work on that, my two favorite co-captains_." Their teacher said very pleased, leaving the room almost dancing.

Soon after Mr. Shuster's departure, everybody came to congratulate the co-captains, telling them that they still had the real chance at Regional's if they kept teaming up. Then, they all left. Only Finn and Rachel remained in the choir room, unable to walk out of the room, away from each other.

Finn and Rachel stood alone in the choir room for a few minutes.

Rachel was about to pass the door when she turned herself to face Finn.

"_Thanks_" said Rachel.

"_It was nothing. We have always sung well together_." replied Finn, walking toward her, approaching the door as well.

"_No, for the lift on Monday night; I didn't have the chance to thank you properly_." replied Rachel smiling, starting to walk.

"_Oh. It's was the least I could do. The way I treated you, the things I have said, they were really mean. I never should have said that to you_." said Finn sincerely, walking next to her.

"_We both said mean things night_." said Rachel as they walk to his locker.

"_I really miss you, talking with you I mean_." said Finn opening his locker and putting his coat on.

"_I miss your presence too_." said Rachel, looking down, than up.

They both walked, in silent, toward the parking lot.

"_Do you need a ride home_?" asked Finn once they were next to his car. He didn't want their moment to end.

"_I came with my car this morning, but thanks Finn, it's very kind of you_." said Rachel, looking for her car keys in her purse. She didn't want their moment to end either.

Finn opened the door of his car and got in, but stopped his movement when he heard Rachel's voice.

"_Mr. Shuster talked about song selection earlier and I thought that, maybe, we should have lunch together and talk about it. Let's say tomorrow at noon in the auditorium_." said Rachel hoping he would say yes.

"_Sounds great, I'll be there_." replied Finn half-crooked smiling.

"_Goodnight Rach_." he added before closing the door of his car.

"_Sweet dreams Finn_." She replied seeing him closing his car's door.

She went to her car quickly, started her car and passed next to Finn, waving him goodbye as she went home.

Finn watched her car go, thinking about the moment they had just shared. He smiled even more widely thinking that tomorrow they would share lunch. He thought that maybe things would get better; he knew they had made a giant step to reconciliation tonight, but he knew he still had to win her trust and heart back. He suspected that it wouldn't be an easy ride.

**Song: Against all odds, by Phil Collins.**


	16. Hopeless

Thanks to everybody who keep on reading. I really appreciate it.

**Chapter 16**

**Hopeless**

Friday morning Rachel woke up happily, knowing that she will have lunch with Finn. She sang while preparing her shake, doing her exercises, dressing up and driving to school; she couldn't stop. She knew she should refrain her hope and bliss outbursts, but she had no desire to.

Couple of blocks away, Finn woke up smiling too. He just had a dream about winning National's in New York and getting back with Rachel. He hoped that he wouldn't have to wait that long to hold her in his arms again. He took a shower, got dressed and went downstairs. In the kitchen, he took his breakfast, smiling, humming.

Sitting in the Kitchen, Kurt couldn't help smiling seeing his brother in such a good mood.

"_I Heard we have competition to worry about_." asked Kurt, sipping his tea.

"_You and your new buddies will bite the dust at Regionnals_." Finn replied to Kurt, smiling, taking a huge bit in his toast. "_We are back on track_." Add Finn, enthusiastic.

"_New directions is back on track or you and Rachel_?" asked Kurt smiling.

Finn starred at Kurt and didn't answer his question.

"_So, you guys are friend again_." asked Kurt at the edge of his sit, curious.

"_Yeah, I think we can say that. In fact, we are having lunch together to prepare a set list_." said Finn, smiling.

"_Have you guys thought of something in particular_?" Kurt asked, without looking at him.

"_Don't you take me for dumber than I am Kurt. I am not telling you. You'll have to wait and see_." said Finn, finishing his breakfast.

"_Can't blame a guy for trying_!" Kurt replied, laughing as he put his plate in the sink.

Finn mimicked him and they both went to the living room to get their coat and school bags. They put it on and went out the house. They said bye to each other, got into their mutual cars and drove to school.

Once at McKinley High, Finn looked everywhere for Rachel; he wanted to confirm their meeting. In fact, he just wanted to see her, but he needed a pretence to. He was on his way to her locker when his phone rang. He looked at the Id. It was Santana. God, he had forgotten to pick her up. He knew she would be pissed about that. He really wanted to ignore her call, but he knew he couldn't. He knew that things would only get worse if he did.

"_Hudson! Where are you Hudson_?" screamed Santana pissed.

"_School; I had to come here early_." said Finn calmly.

"_Let me guess, study_." said Santana even more pissed.

"_Can't lie to you, baby_." said Finn, hopping that the nickname would smooth her a little and let him off the hook so he could go to see Rachel before class.

"_I am in the middle of something, can you please come on your own, honey_." he said faking tenderness, putting the emphasis on honey to gild the pill.

Santana answered sighing loudly. Finn took advantage of her silence.

"_You're the best_." Finn said quickly and hung up.

"_One problem solved. Now, Rachel before the tiger catches me."_ Finn thought to himself walking in the hallway.

Rachel arrived to school singing. She went to her locker. She took off her coat and bonnet. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"_Finn_." she said, surprised.

"_You sound surprised._" said Finn smiling at her stupor expression.

"_Yes. No. I thought it was Noah_. _Usually, he is the one who comes to see me that early." _she said to explain her attitude.

"_Okay_." said Finn, losing his smile, a bit disappointed.

"_But I am glad it's you today_." replied Rachel quickly.

Finn answered her with one of his own half-crooked smile. Rachel smiles back at him. For few seconds, they kept looking at each other.

"_I just wanted to confirm our lunch together, just to be sure you haven't changed your mind_." said Finn feeling his face becoming redder.

"_No, it's still on, if you're up to It_." replied Rachel who couldn't stop smiling.

"_Great, I'll see you at noon, in the auditorium_." Finn said, starting to walk backward and collided with a freshman as he left.

"_Yeah_." said Rachel, watching him, laughing at Finn's goofiness.

"_My old Finn is back_." she thought as she started to hum to her classroom.

Finn was running to his classroom when he ran into Santana.

"_Hey baby_." Santana said, trying to kiss him.

Finn accepted the kiss and extended it, only because he didn't want to arouse Santana's suspicion about his meeting later with Rachel. He took her hand and he walked her to her class, hoping this strategy would give him immunity from questioning. Once at her class's door, he stopped and took her hand.

"_See, I have this team work to do during lunch, but I could take you to bread's stick tonight, for forgiveness."_ Finn said, kissing the back of her hand.

"_It's going to take more than that to satisfy me Finnocence_." Santana said, as she tore her hand from Finn's and entered her class.

Finn kept looking at her as she went sitting on her chair, trying to look as into her as he could, but the problem was he wasn't such a good liar.

Rachel and Finn spent their entire classes looking at the clock. They would have wanted to spin the clock's hand to noon to finally the able to be together.

At noon, Finn ran to the cafeteria to get his lunch. There, a lot of football players hi-fived him and cheerleaders smiled at him seductively. He took the time to answer to his teammates, but ignored the girls because the only girl he was thinking about was waiting for him in the auditorium.

Rachel was settling thing for their lunch meeting when Finn arrived, almost running. He slowed down and joined her on stage. She had prepared a blanket and cushions. She was pulling out her sandwich from her little lunch basket. She seems so calm, so peaceful, so beautiful...

Rachel lifted her eyes and saw Finn sitting next her, his lunch bag in hand. The minute he sat down, she turned herself and put her hands in her bag. She took out music sheets out of it.

"_I have been spending some time thinking about songs selection for Regionnals_." Rachel said to Finn, handing her the music's sheet.

Finn smile faded and he looked at her disappointed. Rachel had jumped directly to business. Somewhere, he had hoped that they could talk a little, solve issues and make peace.

Trying to regain his smile, the tall guy laid down his lunch and took the music's sheets from Rachel's hands.

"_So, what do you think_?" asked Rachel, after taking one bite of her sandwich.

"_These are great songs Rach, perfect, I wouldn't have thought of anything more from you_..." Finn said, as he laid down the music's sheets. He grabbed his lunch bag, took his sandwich out and started to eat it.

They both eat in silence. Either one of them wanted to talk to the other, but they didn't know what to say. They both took a deep breath and spoke at the same time.

"_Thanks for_..." said Rachel.

"_It was really_... said Finn at the same time as Rachel.

They looked at each other and laughed.

"_You go first_." said Rachel, regaining her composure.

"_It was really nice of you to sing with me, to take one for the team_." said Finn, looking at Rachel.

"_As you said, we had to do it for glee club salvation. We cannot deprive others of such an experience_." said Rachel smiling. "_And I have always enjoyed singing with you_." added Rachel a bit weaker.

"_I love singing with you too_." said Finn, half-crook smiling, and giving her a shoulder hit.

Then, their eyes met and they couldn't stop starring at each other. Finn wanted to caress her cheeks, her hair. His senses were urging him to lay her down on the blanket, like he had done last year, a bit before his mailman incident, but this time, he wouldn't back off, he would gladly take advantage of the situation and make her scream out for more...

Rachel really loves spending time with Finn, but keeping her distance was really difficult; his eyes kept drawing her in like magnets.

"_Finn_!" asked Rachel, breaking the trance.

"_Where were you_?" Rachel asked him.

"_Heaven Rach, I was in heaven_." answered Finn, coming back to reality, unwillingly, starring before him.

Then, Rachel picked up her lunch basket and stood up. Finn imitated her helped her to fold the blanket, disappointed of letting his fantasy fly away.

"_You haven't told me what song you prefer_?" ask Rachel, seeing Finn's smile fade a little as they were folding the blanket.

"_I don't know. They are both great, but I think I prefer the first one_." said Finn coming closer to her, taking the blanket from her hand and putting it into her basket.

"_Do you want to give it a try_?" said Rachel to Finn as he stood up.

"_Sure_." Finn said smiling.

Then, facing one another, they started to sing.

**Finn**:

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you  
Yeah  
_  
**Rachel**:

_I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again  
_  
**Both:**

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide  
_  
**Finn:**

_I'm quiet you know  
You make a first impression_

**Rachel:**_  
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

**Both:**

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find  
You and I collide  
_

**Finn****:**  
_Don't stop here_

**Rachel**:

_I lost my place_

**Finn**:  
_I'm close behind_

**Both:**  
_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide_

**Finn:**  
_You finally find  
You and I collide_

**Rachel**:

_You finally find  
You and I collide_

As the song ended, they found themselves very close to one another. Rachel's hands were holding Finn's waist and Finn's hands were on Rachel's shoulder, they were slightly leaning in, Rachel slightly perched on tip toe.

Lost in the moment, they hadn't seen the football team who had entered in the auditorium thirty seconds ago.

"_Hey Hudson_!" screamed Azimio from a far.

Finn and Rachel turned themselves to face their audience. As soon as he saw his teammates, Finn removed his hand from Rachel's shoulders and stepped back.

"_Get your ass here__udHud__, stop having fun with your little glee loser on the side and bring your muscles here. Special practice ordered by coach Beast_." added Azimio screaming.

Finn looked at Azimio forcing a wide smile. Then, he looked at Rachel.

"_I have to go_." Finn said weakly to Rachel who was looking at him lovingly, her senses still in the trance.

Quickly, he took his backpack and ran to his teammates who were waiting for him dissatisfied.

"_See you at glee_". Rachel half screamed to Finn, falling off her cloud.

Dragged out of the auditorium by his teammates, Finn didn't have the time to answer her. He just smiled at her from a far.

Finn and the rest of the football missed their third period to undergo an intensive football practice foreseen by coach Beast for their next game.

Finn had run and sweated a lot on the field. Once back in the locker room, he decided to take a very long shower. There, he thought of his duet with Rachel and smiled. Then, he closed his eyes and started to sing the last song they had sung together. Once his shower over, he went back into the locker room, still signing. Azimio and Karofsky were waiting for him.

"_Hey guys_." said Finn joyful as he walked to his locker, still humming.

"_Look QB, we, the team, talked about it and we are worry about our captain's_ _sanity_." said Azimio, closing Finn's locker before he had totally opened it.

"_Fact is, you can fool around with your glee loser ex-girlfriend, I am sure she could be fun between sheets, but here, in real world, you date Santana_." added Azimio really seriously.

"_Yeah, you proved yourself not to be a complete stupid and worthless idiot by bagging her. Now we can almost believe that you actually are a man and a true leader_." said Karofsky arrogantly.

Finn didn't know what to say. He just starred at them, stunned

"_Don't let the team down Hudson, or we'll find another captain_…" said Azimio, hitting the locker next to Finn's with one of his fist.

"_You can't do that_." Said Finn, not believing they were threatening him.

"_Try us, captain_!" said Karofsky, hi-fiving Azimio and leaving the room.

Dumbfounded, Finn got dressed, went out of the locker room and went to his locker, but an unpleasant surprised was awaiting him at his locker.

Santana was pressed against his locker, talking with another cheerleader. When she saw Finn approaching, she went to him and kissed him fiercely and stuck her mouth near his hear.

"_You, you follow me now, keep smiling and looking happy or you are going to regret it_." Santana whispered to him, squeezing his hand tightly, dragging him into the janitor's closet and slammed the door behind them. As soon as the door was closed, Santana pushed him away harsly.

"_I just heard about you teamwork with the dwarf. People are saying that you fucked her on the auditorium's floor. This was not part of the plan Hudson; we were supposed to become top dogs around here, and all you think about is going back with your hobbit of an ex-girlfriend. No. No way I am allowing that!"_ said Santana, forcing herself not to scream to preserve the appearances.

"_You're not going to glee club this afternoon and neither am I_." said Santana, sounding very serious.

"_What_?" asked Finn, not sure he had heard right.

"_We are not going to glee club practice, we are going to my house and have sex_." said Santana proud of herself.

Finn looked at her, disgusted. He stepped further away from her.

"_Don't worry, I don't expect you to be man enough to actually do it, I lost all hope about that a long time ago, but people have to believe that you are my man Hudson and not Rachel's Finn_…" said Santana, coming closer to Finn, caressing his face with one of her finger.

"_What if I refuse_." replied Finn, pushing her hand away and crossing his arms on his chest.

"_If you dare not filling your part of our bargain Finnoncence, I can always tell anyone that I am your big gay beard or that you pay be to be your fake girlfriend. I can also expose your mailman problem and amplify it a little. I think those few things could pretty much kill your reputation_." added Santana smiling, knowing that she had made her point.

Then, she came closer to him and kissed him, taking care to smear his mouth's side of her lipstick and quit the closet. Leaving Finn's breathless. He really had concluded a pact with the devil.

Rachel thought about glee club meeting hopeful. She knew that singing together had brought them closer and it had increased with their lunch today. She knew that she would have a great time at glee, as long as Finn was there.

Finn was sitting in his English class, watching the clock, trying to slow it. He didn't know what to do; his heart and his mind were showing him to different avenues.

If he decided to follow his heart, he would go to glee club, going back to Rachel, hoping he would win her love and trust further down the road.

If he decided to listen to his mind, he would force himself to stay with Santana, continuing faking their coupling and remain captain of the football team, socially loved and respected

He chose the least worst option, hoping that Rachel would understand.

So, when the clock indicated 4 o'clock, he went to his locker, took his stuff and went to Santana's. He pressed himself on her locker. While he was waiting people stopped to say hi and to hi-five him. He forced himself to smile back, but smiling was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

"_Glad you took the right decision Hudson_." said Santana grabbing him by behind, putting her hands under his shirt.

Finn jumped feeling Santana nails scratching his belly, but he let her do it because it was all part of their agreement, right, to stay on top of the dog pound.

"_So, I'll tell you how it works; you take my hand, we walk happily to the parking lot and you drive me home. Then, you can take you sorry self home, but you stay there all night. People have to believe what I will tell them tomorrow, you are going to be a legend Hudson, so don't you dare fuck this up_." said Santana smiling, pressing herself against Finn.

He did exactly what Santana told him to. They exchanged few kisses in the parking lot, he drove her home and went back to his sadly.

Seeing that Kurt was already home from Dalton Academy, the entered his house and went quickly upstairs. There, he let himself fall on his bed. He couldn't believe he had agreed to this, but he knew he had saved his ass, but he hoped that it hadn't cost him his heart.

Rachel arrived first on glee club rehearsal. She had decided to wait for Finn to tell everyone about their researches.

At 4h10, Mr. Shuster stepped in the room, his bag on his shoulder and he closed the door behind him.

"_Has anybody seen Finn and Santana_?" said their teacher, seeing their two vacant sits.

"_Santana told me she had planned something special for Finn tonight. She told me that they would work all night long on a long and hard song selections_." said Brittany libidinously.

"_Too much information Brittany_!" said Artie, sighing.

"_They're a hot and young couple, it's normal to have sex_." replied Brittany, twisting her gum around her finger.

At the mention the X word, everybody looked at Rachel, hoping she wouldn't have another break down.

"_I'll be okay guys, it's not like something actually happened between us, we sang together, nothing more."_ said Rachel dryly, trying not to break into tears.

"_Did you guys find some interesting songs we can try out for Regionals_?" asked Mr. Shuster enthusiastic, hoping to pump up his troop's spirit.

Their all shared their ideas and opinions, but Rachel remained silent. At 5 o'clock, once everybody had shared their thought, Mr Shuster called it a day.

One second after, Rachel, who had already prepared all her stuff, went out the room almost running. She knew wasn't in the mood for the others' pity.

She ran to her car, letting tears fall freely on her cold cheeks. God, she found herself so stupid for believing that something, something real, had happened between them earlier that day. If it had, he would have come to glee and be with her. They would have forgiven each other and started a new chapter of their life.

She drove home really fast. Once her car parked, she got off it and ran upstairs. She took her application for NYC Scene Art Academy and her envelope of videos and put it in a bag. Then, she came back downstairs and went back into her car.

She drove to the post office and mailed it. Wishing that she would be accepted, wishing that they would want her more than Finn did…


	17. Truth and False

**Chapter 17  
**

**Truth**** and False**

Driving back from the post office, Rachel passed in the main avenue, the street where the Hummel's residence was located. Angry and deceived by Finn's behaviour, she was driving pretty fast. She quickly passed Finn's house, but stopped abruptly when she realized that Finn's car was in the driveway.

"_He is not supposed to be home_." Rachel told herself.

Listening her guts, she backed up and parked her car a long the sidewalk in front of the Hummel's household. Angry, she got out of the car, run to the porch and knocked several times on the door. She really wanted to know had passed on his mind.

"_Rachel, how nice_…" Kurt said, but was interrupted by a frantic Rachel.

"_Is He home_?" asked Rachel dryly to Kurt getting passed him.

She inspected the first floor, researching Finn.

"_If he is, I didn't hear him getting in_." said Kurt, as he closed the front door.

Rachel walked toward the basement door, but Kurt stopped her.

"_He isn't in the basement. I just came from there a minute ago_." replied Kurt, walking toward Rachel and putting on hand on her shoulder.

Then, Rachel's eyes looked up the stairs, where Finn's bedroom was located.

"_I don't know if I should go_." said Rachel, reluctant to go upstairs, afraid of what she might find.

"_I don't think she's here. I am pretty sure that Santana can't be anything but loud_." said Kurt, pushing her up the stairs.

Kurt climbed two steps. He took Rachel's hand and dragged her upstairs.

Once there, Kurt pressed his hear on the door that opened itself, at Kurt's contact, on an all dressed and asleep Finn.

"_Told you_." whispered Kurt walking toward his brother to wake him up.

"_Don't wake him up. I'll wait a little and I'll will wake him up if he doesn't_." said Rachel whispering.

"_I leave you two alone then_." whispered Kurt as he went out of the room and closed the door softly behind him.

Rachel sat on a chair next to Finn's bed. She looked at him. He was so peaceful, so gorgeous. Needing to be close to him, she went to sit next to him to feel his warmth. Unable not to touch him, her hand went to dance on his head, started to fumble into his brown hair, wondering how someone who seemed so innocent can hurt so badly.

Feeling someone playing with his hair, Finn opened his eyes. He smiled.

"_Am I dreaming_?" Finn asked, seeing Rachel sitting next him, her hand caressing his hair.

"_If you are dreaming, then you're in the middle of a nightmare, Finn_." Rachel answered as she rose from the bed and stepped as far as she could from him.

Finn rose from the bed, stretching. He whipped his slobber and get off the bed. He went closer to Rachel.

"_Why haven't you come to glee this afternoon_?" asked Rachel, angrily.

That question chased away the very last ounce of sleep Finn was still in and reality slapped him. He didn't know what to answer.

"_And, aren't you supposed to be at Santana's, doing god knows what to her_…" added Rachel, pretty pissed.

Finn didn't know what to say. Should he exposed the truth to Rachel or continue to play along with Santana.

"_Santana and I, we aren't really dating_." said Finn, without thinking much. "_We are only playing, for our reputations_." added Finn, looking straight to Rachel's eyes. "_And to hurt you_." He finished, looking at the floor.

"_It was only a game, it is only a game_." Finn said, looking back into Rachel's eyes, almost crying.

Then, he saw Rachel's coming closer to him. He expected a slap, but she surprised him with a kiss, a true and passionate kiss.

They kissed for few minutes, rolling onto his bed, kissing each other, touching each other, savouring the other's essences .Then, Rachel rolled on top of him, straddling him.

"_The game is over now_." said Rachel, going down to kiss his neck.

"_I wish it was that simple_." Finn replied to Rachel assumption.

She stopped kissing him and moved her face away from his.

"_It has to go on, a little while longer_." Finn said, looking in Rachel's eyes.

"_What_?" Rachel asked as she got off his body and off the bed.

"_Wait, Rachel, don't go_." Finn said, reaching and grabbing her hand to prevent her from leaving.

"_I love you, but_…" pleaded Finn, but was interrupted by Rachel.

"_But, you want to keep sleeping with her_." said Rachel taking off her hand of his.

"_No, it's not it, we are not having sex_." said Finn sighing.

"Like I am going to believe you." said Rachel putting on hand on the doorknob.

"_No, we did, last year and during the Christmas party, but not_ after." said Finn, placing himself between her and the door to prevent her from leaving.

"_And, at the Christmas party, I was with you, I imagined, I made love to you, not to her, it is you I love not her_…" Finn added, touching her face and leaning in to kiss her.

She let him touched her lips slightly.

"_If it isn't for sex, why do you want to stay with Santana_?" whispered Rachel, ending Finn's kiss.

"_She threatened me_." said Finn, not looking at Rachel.

"_Threatened you_? _God Finn, what lame excuse_ is that. _I really don't see want she can do to you that could be so disastrous. She can't kill you_." replied Rachel, almost laughing.

"_She can destroy me_." replied Finn really seriously. "_She has threatened to say that I've been paying her for our fake sexcapades, to talk about my mailman problem and to tell everybody I'm gay. If I don't do as she says, she will kill my reputation, destroy me_?" added Finn, going back to sit on his bed and bringing his head between his hands.

"_Your reputation_!" said Rachel, hands on her waist.

"_People like me, they respect me, and they worship me Rachel. I am their leader, they believe in me. It makes me feel good about myself_." Finn said smiling, lights in his eyes.

"_Azimio and Karofsky even threatened me to kick me of the team if I stop dating Santana and…"_ started Finn before Rachel interrupted him.

"_Get back with me_." Rachel replied, finishing Finn's sentence, sadly.

Finn didn't answer.

"_I need time Rachel. Once I win an important football game and secure other's respect, I'll go back to you, I promise_." Finn said to Rachel, walking closer to her and putting his hands on her shoulders.

"_What am I supposed to do during this interlude, being your little glee loser on the side ex-girlfriend who still pining for you_?" asked Rachel, ironically.

"_Yes. No. Rachel, I love you_..." started Finn looking in Rachel's eyes.

"_But you love your reputation more_." Rachel said, interrupting Finn and taking his hand off her shoulders. "_I get it_." Rachel added putting her hand on the doorknob, opening the door and ran downstairs.

"_Rachel, come on, don't leave! You have to understand._" Finn replied, before running after her.

When Finn arrived downstairs, Rachel was putting on her coat and fastening its buttons roughly. He went to her and grabbed her hand.

"Please, Rachel, don't go. I want you." pleaded Finn looking sadly into her eyes.

"_I pity you Finn_." said Rachel looking back at him. "_When will you cease to be this little boy scared of other's judgment? Stop letting others defined who you are. Make your own choices and learn to live with the consequences and then you will know what truly being a man is_." Rachel added, speaking a little louder. "_Grow a back bone Finn_!" Rachel screamed to him and freeing her from his grip.

She opened the door.

"_Since I am not one worth fighting for Finn, one last thing, I hope your reputation keeps happy and warm at night because as long as you can't man up and respect me, don't expect me to take you back, ever_..." Rachel said slamming the door loudly behind her.

Kurt was sitting in the basement, doing his school's assignment when he heard the front door slamming loudly. He decided to go upstairs to see what had caused this outburst.

Kurt found Finn sitting on the couch, head between his legs.

"_What happened_?" asked Kurt, sitting next to Finn.

"_Truth happened and it knocked me right in the face_." answered Finn sighing.

"_What are you going to do about it_?" asked Kurt, putting one hand on Finn's shoulder.

"_It seems like I will have to face the consequences of my actions_." answered Finn, looking at the floor.

"_Good luck. You will need some_." Replied Kurt, rising of the couch and went back to his homework downstairs, leaving Finn alone with himself.

"_God, what have I done_?" Finn screamed for himself as he went upstairs and locked himself in his room, angrily slamming the door behind him.

Rachel drove home speedily. She let her tears fall freely. Finn didn't really love her. How could he loved her and treated her like that. How could he prefer fake to true, lies to truth, Santana to her and still saying that she was the one he loved.

"_Good riddance. They deserve one another; both fake_…" thought Rachel trying to stop herself from crying, telling herself that Finn wasn't worth them.

Rachel knew she wasn't the best or kindest person in the world, but she had always remained true to herself and to Finn. Even though they both had made mistakes, she still loved Finn with all of her heart. She would have moved heaven and earth for Finn, but, visibly, the feeling wasn't reciprocated.

Once again, he had told her that he loved her but did nothing show it. Rachel hoped that, one day, he would be capable of such a thing, but she was starting to doubt of it.

Once in front of her house, she parked her car in the drive way. She got out of the car and went inside.

Inside, she went upstairs and took a shower to erase the filthy smell of Finn's betrayal. After her shower, she cruised on Internet and found some songs that she or others could sing in glee club for Regionals. She decided that their win at Regionals would become her new reason to live.

She decided to give her all to glee and leave nothing left for Finn. That way, she would concentrate herself on the task at head and get Finn out of her mind.

After selecting a few songs that would feature her on heavy lead vocal and one or two for the other members, she fell asleep. That night, she dreamed of another city, another sky without knowing that she would fly through it sooner than she thought.


	18. To go or not to go, that is the Question

**Chapter 18**

**To g****o or not to go, that is the Question?**

Almost an entire week has passed since Finn had told her the truth. They had not talk since then.

Finn had feared that maybe she would spills the beans to the others, but she hadn't done it. He had hoped that telling Rachel the truth would ease her mind and make them grow closer, but instead it had pushed her away only further. He thought he could talk to her in their common USA History class, but she had switched place with another student.

He tried to talk to her repeatedly, but she had always managed to escape him.

She had spent all her time in the choir room with her watchdog, Puck. He really wanted to get her alone. He really wanted to talk her to make her understand that he still cared about her even if he was forced to remain confined in his cool guy uniform.

In glee, she was acting like a dictator, sometimes even interrupting Mr. Shuster to give her opinion on things. He knew that Rachel wasn't happy about their situation and he really wanted to settle things between them.

All week, Rachel has been trying to avoid Finn. She didn't want to fall into his claws again.

Finn had really made her feel like trash the other night. Rachel couldn't believe that he preferred his reputation to her.

For the past year and a half, Finn had been her world, with or without a football uniform. She had even found him gorgeous in his Brad Majors dorky outfit when they had done the Rocky horror picture show tribute. He wasn't a good dancer and the sharpest tool around, but she loved him for all that and she still did as much as she wanted to convince herself otherwise.

On Thursday, to avoid Finn, Rachel decided to have lunch with Puck at her house.

At noon, they met in the parking lot and got into Rachel's car. Once settled inside, Puck put one of his own CD to avoid a new deluge and started to sing as the song started to relax the atmosphere.

Ten minutes after, Rachel parked her car in the driveway. They both got off the car and walked to the front door. Suddenly, Rachel saw a paper exceed the letter box. Her heart made three turns when she saw that she was the recipient and that the letter came from NYC Art Scene Academy. Receiving a letter so soon could only mean one thing; they hadn't like her. She took the letter and put it in her pocket abruptly and opened the door.

Puck saw her expression and he knew something was wrong. So, he went next to her, grabbed the letter from her pocket and ran into the house with it. Rachel started to run after him.

"_Give me that Noah, it is private_." Rachel said sighing, trying to take her letter back from Puck once they were in the kitchen.

Puck protected himself from Rachel's attacks. He opened the letter.

"_Dear Miss Berry, that's you_." Puck said as he looked at Rachel. "_We are very pleased to inform you that you've been accepted at NYC Art Scene Academy. Due to a sudden departure of one of our scholarship holder, we would be glad to welcome you at our institution on the beginning of the new semester, on Monday January 17__th __2011. You'll find, joined to this letter, all the information that you need to access our school. We know that our letter comes on short notice, but we really believed that it would be a rewarding experience for an already talented singer like you to join our ranks. However, if you are in the impossibility to be there for your admission on Monday, please call the number above mentioned to remove you inscription. If you are able to join us on Monday, January 17__th__, please, bring copies of your school record with you._

_Thank for the interest you've shown for our academy and hoping to see you on admission day, have, Miss Berry, a_..."said Puck as Rachel took the letter from his hands.

"_You are kidding me, right_." said Rachel taking the letter from Puck's hand.

She reread the letter, not believe what she had heard from Puck's voice.

"_I esteem my life way too much to be kidding about something as important as this_." Puck said, almost laughing.

Rachel read the letters another time to be sure she wasn't dreaming.

"_It can't be true, Noah, I must be dreaming_." said Rachel throwing the letter on the table.

Puck walked toward her and pinched her arm, but she had only a small reaction.

"_Monday, it's so soon. I have so many things to do if I want to be ready. I don't know if I'll have time to do everything I need to do. I have to notify school and glee_…" She said out loud, thinking about the glee club and Finn…

"_I don't know what to do Noah_?" she asked Puck, sighing.

"_You are kidding me, right! They are offering you a trip to NYC, your dream on a silver platter and you are considering not going; what's wrong with you Berry_?" said Puck, almost screaming at her.

Rachel sat on a chair.

"_You have always known that you would get out of here; things are only going faster than you thought it would_." added Puck, sitting next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"_What about glee_?" Rachel asked, trying not to break into tears. "_And Finn_." she added, one single tears falling from her eye.

"_Hudson is a dumb ass. Don't you dare ditch your dream for him! He isn't worth it."_ Said Puck, patting Rachel's back.

"_I bet your NYC school is full of tools much sharper than Hudson_." he added, almost laughing to relax the atmosphere, but Rachel expression didn't change.

"_First, you should call your dads_." added Puck rising from his chair. He stood up behind Rachel and massaged Rachel's shoulders,

"_My dads won't be a problem Noah_. _They will be beyond happy for me and money isn't an issue for them when it comes to my career_. _I am only wondering if it is the right time to go, the Regional's and probable end of the club_." said Rachel, rising from her chair to face Puck.

"_Come on Rachel, we are in High School. Lima won't strop turning without you, as much as you'd love it to_." said Puck, grabbing Rachel's hand.

"_You are right Noah. I need to call my dads and see how they see things. Secondly, I have to ask Mr. Figgins for my school records, then Glee_." said Rachel swallowing hardly.

"_Noah, would you please be there when I tell them. I might really need an ally when I'll drop the bomb_." said Rachel looking at Puck.

"_I'll wait for you in the auditorium at 4."_ said Puck taking her hands.

"_Thank you Noah_." Rachel said, as she hugged him.

Puck held her during few seconds and stepped back.

"_I should go back to school or maybe you need help to settle your things_." said Puck taking his coat from the sofa and putting it on.

Rachel put on her coat too and drove Puck back to school.

She came back twenty minutes later and called her dads.

They both reacted very loudly at Rachel's news, both very happy and agreeing deeply with her decision to leave for NYC. They told her not to worry about details and that they would take care of everything. They both frenziedly congratulated her and told her that they would have diner out tonight to celebrate the good news.

After hanging up, she went to get her coat and she went back to school.

She directly went to principal Figgins office. She waited fifteen minutes and finally entered in Mr. Figgins's office. She explained the situation to him. The principal quickly agreed to her demand, saying that his secretary would copy her file in the afternoon and that he'd wait for her dads to sign the legal documents to confirm her departure of McKinley High. He also congratulated her on her success and told her that they were loosing a great student. Rachel shook the principal hand's saying that they would miss them too. Tears were coming to her eyes, but she succeed no to let them fall.

After her meeting with Figgins, she went to the auditorium. She needed the magic of this room to calm her, to prepare her for what she was about to do.

Rachel jumped went she heard her phone ring. She answered it. It was her dad and he had big news for her. He had manage to get her a train ticket for New-York City on Friday at 6 o'clock PM, that everything was already settled for her arrival in the academy's residence that she would be attending and that everything was set for her admission on Monday morning.

She thanked her dad, trying to sound happy, but she truly had mixed up feelings. Yes, she wanted to live her dream, but living this dream would mean living another one behind. Her mind and her hopes were settled on NYC, but her heart longed for Finn. She hoped she could get passed it.

After hanging up, she closed her eyes. She relived, in her head, every song she had sung in this room from Don't stop believing to Collide. She knew stage was her natural habitat, she had always felt she was born to be a star; that feeling had reminded constant and have stayed along her previous years, but Finn had passed and gone away from her arms more than once.

Then, Rachel opened her eyes and went on stage, under the spot light. She imagined herself being on Broadway with hundred of people cheering for her, loving her and she really hopped that could replace the love she felt for Finn. It was her dream she had to go. Her decision was made and she wouldn't budge. She just hoped that what would happen on glee wouldn't change her mind.

The auditorium doors opened. She saw someone walking toward the stage. Puck was coming to get her. She looked at her cell phone; it was 4 o'clock. At this moment she wasn't so sure anymore that she had taken the good decision.

Puck got on stage and took her hand. She followed him unwillingly as he dragged her toward the choir room.

They set foot in the room holding each other's hand tightly. Everyone looked at them in disbelieved, including Finn who was sitting on the front row.

"_Rachel got something to tell you guys_." said Puck, looking at everyone, squeezing Rachel's hand.

"_Don't tell me you knocked her up_." said Artie sighing.

Hearing the last sentence, Finn rose from his chair, ready to knock Puck onto the ground.

"_No, that's not it, guys. I have been accepted in an art school, in New York City_." said Rachel getting in Finn's way, almost crying.

Finn went back to sit on his chair, his fists still clenched.

"_Why are you so sad Rachel, isn't it always been your dream to study in NYC_?" replied Mercedes, walking closer to her to congratulate her.

"_I am living tomorrow_." replied Rachel quickly before Mercedes had the chance to hug her.

At this moment, everybody stared at her, not believing what they were hearing.

"_I am starting Monday morning, I received the letter today_." said Rachel trying not to break into tears.

They mouths all dropped.

"_I think I am not only speaking for myself when I say that another baby would have been greater news than this jam!"_ said Artie breaking the heavy silence.

"_I am really sorry about leaving you guys, but if I don't go, I'll regret it all my life. This art school can open Julliard's doors to me! It has always been my dreams for as long as I can remember_." said Rachel, letting go of Puck's hand.

"_You have no rights to leave us Rachel_." said Finn, rising up, placing himself in front to Rachel. "_You cant' go and leave us! We're a team, you can't leave us_." whispered Finn, takings Rachel's hand.

Tears started to fall on Rachel's face.

"_Try to understand Finn_." said Rachel, looking at him and whipping her tears away.

As she tried to reach out for his hand, he stepped away from her and left the room, kicking a chair, as usual, on his way out.

After Finn's sudden departure, everyone came to see Rachel, to congratulate her. Rachel accepted their good words, crying. She knew she should have been so happy at the moment, nevertheless she couldn't stop crying.

After few minutes, they all left, one by one. Puck wanted to stay, but Rachel wanted to be alone for a while. Thinking about all the emotions she had experienced there and how much she had grown up between those walls, she couldn't stop crying.

"_You should stop crying Rachel_." said Mr. Shuster, walking toward her, sitting next to her. He put his arms around her shoulders.

"_I just can't Mr. Shuster, I hate the fact that I am letting you guys down."_ said Rachel, whipping her eyes for the X time.

"_Don't worry about us! We'll get through. You got to live your dream Rachel, no matter what people say_." said Mr. Shuster, patting her back.

"_A part of me doesn't want to leave_." said Rachel, sniffing.

"_It doesn't have to be forever Rachel. Ohio will still be on the map in a few months or years or even decades. You will always be welcomed here. And maybe that room is going to be renamed after you_." said Mr. Shuster, smiling and laughing.

His last comment made Rachel smile.

"_You should go home. I am sure you have a lot of packing to do_." Mr Shuster said, rising off his chair and putting his bag on his shoulders. "_When do you leave exactly_?" asked Mr Shuster, helping Rachel to rise off her chair.

"_Tomorrow night, my dad booked me a train trip at 6 tomorrow night_." said Rachel, rising off her chair. She walked to the door accompanied by Mr Shuster.

"_So, you won't be at school tomorrow_." asked Mr. Shuster sadly.

"_No. As you said, I have a lot of packing and others thing to do if I want to be on time at the railroad station at four o'clock to be sure not to miss my train_." replied Rachel as they were walking in the hallway.

"_So, you won't come to say goodbye_." said Mr. Shuster as he stopped walking arriving to the teacher's room.

"_I just did. I don't think I could take more goodbyes_." Rachel said before jumping into Mr. Shuster's arms and hugged him.

"_Thanks for everything, Mr. Shuster_." said Rachel, kissing him on the cheeks.

"_No. Thank you, Rachel_." The teacher replied smiling.

Rachel took a few steps back and whipped the tears that were falling freely on her cheeks. She walked toward the entrance and passed the door. Once outside, she turned herself to face the façade of the school. She couldn't believe that she would actually miss McKinley High.

Then, she walked to her car and drove home.

Her dads were waiting for her home to take her out for dinner. She didn't want to hurt them, so she accepted their invitation, but she wasn't really hungry.

They didn't stay long at the restaurant. After her meal, Rachel told her dad that she was tired. So, they went home. Rachel said goodnight to her dads, thanked them for dinner and went upstairs to her room.

She put on her pyjama and jumped into bed. She was closing the lamp on her bedside table went her phone rang.

She looked at the ID and saw that it was Kurt. She knew she had to answered, someone had probably told him about her sudden departure.

"_Is this true_? _You are leaving tomorrow_." asked Kurt panicked.

"_Finn told you?_" asked Rachel, hopping Kurt would tell her how Finn was doing.

"_No, he isn'__t home yet, but Mercedes called me right after she left school_." replied Kurt quickly. "_You're really getting out of Lima_!" added Kurt, not believing it.

Rachel started to cry.

"_Don't cry please, it is supposed to be a happy moment Rachel, soon you will be leaving your dream."_ replied Kurt to her, gently.

"_How do I feel so bad, Kurt_?" replied Rachel between two sobs.

"_You are entering an unknown territory, it's normal to be scared_." said Kurt gently, trying to comfort her.

"_I am not supposed to be scared, I have been preparing myself for this, since I was 3 years old Kurt_." replied Rachel, a bit angry.

"_But now, you are facing the real thing. Go and embrace it_!" said Kurt enthusiastically. "_But I'd like to say goodbye before you go_." said Kurt sadly.

"_I'll be at the railroad station at 4 o'clock tomorrow_." said Rachel crying. "_I really want to say goodbye to you too_." she added between two sobs.

"_I'll be there_." Kurt said, whipping a tear of his own. "_Now, go get your beauty sleep, god know you'll need some in NYC_." Replied Kurt, sniffing.

"_Goodnight Kurt_." said Rachel, calmer.

"_Goodnight Rachel_." said Kurt, in the same tone.

Rachel hung up and laid herself in bed. She didn't think she could sleep much, but she had to try to be in the best possible shape for the start of her new life.

When he left the choir room, Finn went to the locker room and put on his gym suit. He went to the gym. He ran, ran, ran and ran. After 50 laps, he did some weight training. Then, he took a very long shower. He let the water falling down his face, down his body, masking the tears falling from his eyes.

She was leaving them, leaving him to satisfy her dream of greatness. Once in New York, he was sure that she would meet a Jesse St-James copycat, win a bunch of Tonys, get ready to have intercourse and babies and she would forget all about little Finn Hudson from a loser town named Lima Ohio.

Imagining a happy family, his right fist hit the wall. He let out a loud moan. He had ruined everything. He told himself that if he had listened to his heart in the first place, none of this would have happened and he would be happy with Rachel and this giant hole in his heart wouldn't be killing him right now.

After the shower, he went back to the locker room and got dressed. Next, he went to his locker to get his backpack and went home.

He parked his car in front of the house and entered it. All the lights were closed, so he climbed up the stairs, went quietly into his room, undressed himself and jumped into bed without opening the lights.

Two minutes after Finn had laid himself in bed, he heard his bedroom's door opened.

"_Finn, are you awake_?" whispered Kurt softly.

Finn didn't answer. He pretended to be fast asleep. He didn't want to talk about the Rachel leaving situation. He just wanted to sleep and wake up from this nightmare.

Kurt finally left few minutes after.

All night, Finn kept tossing and turning, telling to himself that his cold mind had chased his heart forever.


	19. Farewell

**Chapter 19**

**FAREWELL**

Rachel woke up all night long, having weird dreams, some including a bright future on Broadway and others in Finn's arms, but they weren't mixed up, it was one of the other. Being held by Finn had made her happy, but she had made her choice and the right choice, even if it hurt like hell.

She didn't want to say goodbye to her dream of happiness with Finn, but she knew she had to, for the sake of her dream, a dream she had cherished all her life. Somewhere, she knew that this would happen someday, but she had hoped to be a little bit older and that she would spend more time with the boy who was her first love.

She got out of bed and got dressed. She was getting her luggage out of her wardrobe when her cell phone rang. It was Kurt. She answered.

"_Change of plan. Get dressed, I am picking you up for breakfast_." said Kurt, without even saying hello.

"_Aren't you supposed to be at school_?" asked Rachel, surprised.

"_I wanted to spend time with you before you leave us for a greater sky_." said Kurt softly "_and you really need to rethink you wardrobe if you don't want to embarrass us in NYC_." answered Kurt, a bit more seriously.

"_It's very nice of you, but I don't know if I am strong enough for such goodbyes_." said Rachel, trying not to break into tears. "_I have lots of things to do this morning, I have to go to school with my dads to finalize the transfer, to empty my locker and I have to do it between 10 and 12, but we could meet for shopping and you could help me to do my suitcase, I could use your expertise. We could meet at the mall at 12h30_." added Rachel, trying to remain calm.

"_I'll be there_." said Kurt joyfully. "_And put a smile and that lucky face of yours_." Kurt added before hanging up.

Rachel hung up, but she couldn't obey to Kurt; today, wasn't a smiley day, but she knew she had her whole life ahead of her to learn how to smile again.

At ten, her dads drove her to school and they all went to the principal's office. Once the last paper signed, her dads went back to their car, letting time for Rachel to go emptying her locker. She brought her school's books to the administration office, but kept her personnel stuff.

She took a few things, her mirror, clips and note pad. Hidden in the far end of her locker, there was still a picture of Finn and her crazy calendar she had kept since their break up.

Looking at the picture, tears started to fall from her eyes. She couldn't believe it was really over. She couldn't believe she wouldn't see him again, ever; that she would never see his face, his eyes, never kiss his lips, never touch this body that she was already longing for, even if she hadn't left yet. She had to see him one last time, his senses urged her to.

She looked at her watch, 10h45, she knew where he was. She had chosen this time to come at school knowing that he would be busy in USA History classroom.

Rachel started to walk in the hallway, toward her old classroom. She stood next to the door and looked through the door's window.

Finn's face was pressed on the palm of his hand that was held by his elbow pressed on his desk. He seemed lost in his thoughts, not listening to a word that M. Hudler was saying.

She stayed there for few minutes, starring at the back of his head, breathing his presence for the last time. She started to cry and left quickly before somebody could hear her.

She knew that if she had seen his face or heard his voice, leaving would have been nearly impossible. She hopped that Finn's Hudson effect on her would decrease one day.

Bag in hands, she left the school. Once passed the door, she took a last good look at McKinley High.

"_I have lived great moments here, but I'll live greater where I am going_." She told herself looking one last time at the school.

She went back to her father's car and asked them to drive her to the mall, telling them that she would be back at home in an hour or two to finish her suitcases.

Once at the mall, she got off of her dad's car and entered the big building.

She sat at table nearby the front doors and waited for Kurt.

Sitting by herself, she couldn't stop thinking about what she was leaving behind, her fathers, her friends, Glee and Finn.

It had been decided that her dads would stay in Lima till the summer and they would move to New-York city all together, so it was only a short term goodbye.

She started to think about her friends and glee club. She had lived there the most memorable moments of her young life and it had prepared her to face the real world she would soon step into. She really hoped that they could survive without her because young people could really learn a lot from Mr. Shuster's leadership and from each other acceptation and tolerance.

Then, she thought about Finn. The thought of Finn put an end to her outburst of positivity. Tears quickly began to fall from her eyes. She was leaving her heart in Lima, she knew it. She hopped that it would come back to her even if he would wear Finn's features.

She knew she had to do something about Finn, but she didn't want to see him; she was scared of what it could do to her.

So, she took her note pad and wrote one only sentence and she signed.

"_Hi, future Yankee_!" said Kurt walking toward her joyfully.

Rachel put quickly the piece of paper in one of her pockets and stood up to welcome him. They hugged tightly. They stepped back a few seconds later and started to walk.

They shopped during an hour or two. Kurt dragged her in a lot of boutiques, telling her how New York was a must in fashion. He also gave her tips about the glamorous life and gossips about upper east sides. Rachel listened to him forcing a smile by moments. He bought her a top and a skirt as departure's gift. Rachel thanked him and hugged him. Then, bags in both hands, they decided to go for smoothie.

"_You are so lucky to leave this place_." said Kurt dreamily, drinking his smoothie.

"_Yeah, I am_!" replied Rachel, forcing herself to sound happy.

"_You are. You just don't know it yet_." said Kurt, taking another gulp of his juice. "_Once you'll be in the big apple, you'll bite it full teeth. You'll forget about Lima Ohio_. "added Kurt, smiling.

"_Maybe, but I didn't think it would be this hard to leave_." Rachel said breathing hardly. "_I know that I am ready to face the music, but I had pictured by departure differently_." added Rachel, trying not to cry.

"_Life happens Rachel and you have the chance to make the most of it, so don't screw it up_." said Kurt taking her hand. "W_e will all stay here for a couple of years at least, so you can come to visit us if you want to and you can be sure that I will visit you. I am dying to see NYC_." said Kurt, smiling enthusiastically.

"_You'll be more than welcomed to_." said Rachel, smiling widely.

They both rose from their chairs and hugged once again. They stepped back from each other a few minutes after. Then, Rachel looked at the clock, it was almost three.

"_God, if we don't go now, I'll probably miss my train_." Rachel said, taking Kurt's arm and dragging him outside. They run till they reached Kurt's SUV.

Kurt drove to Rachel house. He parked his SUV in front of the house. They both got off the car and ran toward the house. Once inside, they went in Rachel's room.

Her suitcases were already on her bed, nearly full. Kurt took the shopping bags from Rachel's hand and opened a suitcase to slip it inside. Then, he noticed a picture on top of the clothes disposed in it; it was a picture of Finn and her at last year Regionnals.

"_You shouldn't bring this with you. You shouldn't bring past with you Rachel_." said Kurt to Rachel, softly.

"_I packed only this one. I need a souvenir Kurt_." said Rachel, not looking at Kurt, knowing he was right.

Kurt put back the picture where it was and they continued packing in silence. Kurt even took off pieces of clothing that Rachel had chosen to bring to NYC and replaced it with others, more suitable in his point of view.

Half an hour later, Rachel was ready to go. She was about to close her last suitcases when the picture fell out. Kurt came closer to her, picked it up and gave it back to Rachel who put it back on her suitcase and closed it tightly.

"_Have you talked to him?_" asked Kurt to Rachel, sitting on her bed.

"_I last spoke to him yesterday. He told me that I had no right to leave them and he walked away_." said Rachel, looking before her.

"_Are you going to tell him goodbye_?" asked Kurt, looking at Rachel, taking her hand in his.

"_No. I don't think I can. I had a glimpse of him at school today and it was enough to turn me upside down, I don't think that talking to him is a good idea_." said Rachel, looking at Kurt. "_I have something to ask you. Could you give him this for me?_" asked Rachel, taking a piece of paper in her pocket and giving it to Kurt.

"_You can count on me_." said Kurt, taking the paper from her shaking hands.

"_Thank you Kurt_." replied Rachel, standing up. She went closer to hugged him.

She was still holding Kurt when her phone rang. She checked the ID; It was Puck, but she didn't answer. She looked at the clock; it was nearly 4 o'clock, she had to be gone very soon.

"_Thank you so much for your help Kurt, but I have to hit the road_." Rachel said hugging Kurt another time. "_I still have to get downstairs, say goodbye to my dads and wait for Noah. He is the one who's bringing me to the train station_." said Rachel, stepping away from Kurt's arms.

Kurt helped Rachel bringing her suitcases downstairs. Rachel's father thanked him and they shook hand. Kurt put on his coat and walked toward the door. He seized the doorknob.

"_Have fun out there Rachel! Live your dream for those who can't_." said Kurt as he opened the door and left.

After Kurt's departure, Rachel stayed in the living room and called Noah.

"_Hi Noah. Are you ready to pick me up_?" asked Rachel trying to sound trilled.

"_That why I called you, I can't go; family matters_." said Puck in a hurry. "_Is there someone else you can ask_?" added Puck, pretending to sound worried.

"_I can, but I wish I could tell you goodbye in person_." said Rachel, sadly.

"I _am a goodbye fan Berry and it isn't like we are never going to see each other again. I'll soon visit you in NYC; you won't get ride of me that easy Berry_." added Puck, almost laughing.

"_I hope so_." said Rachel almost laughing too. "_Thanks for everything Noah_. _I deeply_ t_hank you for being there when I really needed a friend_. _You are truly a good man Noah_." Rachel said, trying not to break into tears.

"_Don't your dare repeat that Miss Berry, you could hurt my reputation with such assessment_." said Puck laughing. "_More seriously, it's been great to be your friend, you are important to me Rachel, but you already know that_." added Puck, sincerely. "_Have a nice trip, enjoy yourself and don't forget about us to quickly Miss Broadway_." said Puck clearing his voice.

"_Take care of you Noah_." said Rachel sadly before hanging up.

Puck hung up, but instead of closing his phone, he dialled another number, one he hadn't dialled for a long time. He knew that his ex best friend wouldn't answer him or maybe he wouldn't even listen to his voice message, so he decided to text him.

**6 o'clock.**** Train station. Road 8. If you've got something bright to tell Her, it's now or never, dumb ass.**

Puck sent it to Finn secretly hopping that he could convince her to stay.

Rachel went into the kitchen and told her fathers that her lift couldn't come to pick her up. They happily proposed her to bring her to the train station and she accepted, but not without making them promise that they wouldn't wait for the train with her. She knew that prolonged goodbyes would be more painful than necessary.

Rachel's fathers put their coats on and went outside to pack Rachel's heavy suitcases in their car.

Putting her coat on, Rachel took time to memorize all her house's details. She had had a great childhood there, with two loving fathers and she wanted to remember her home because she didn't know if she would see it again.

Tears falling on her cheeks, she fastened her coat and went outside. She took place in her father's car. The car went away.

Once at the train station, Rachel got off the car and helped her fathers getting her suitcases out of the car and put them next to her in the waiting spot.

Her fathers had prepared her a picnic basket with all the food she preferred, to eat on the road.

They all walked to the 8 train platform. The three of them stood still, not wanting to say goodbye.

Her dads went closer to her and hugged her, telling her that they would see each other soon and that they will stay in touch. They both hugged her tightly and left, whipping tears.

Rachel watched them leave, whipping her own tears. Then, she sat down on a nearby bench and waited.

Half asleep, half waken, Finn heard a phone ring. Lost in space, he never thought it was his phone that rang.

Slowly coming back to reality, he took it from his bedside table. Someone had sent him a text message. First, when he saw Puck's number, he wanted to throw the phone onto the wall, but a little voice deep within him was telling to read it.

**6 o'clock, Train station.**** Road 8. If you've got something bright to tell Her, it's now or never, dumb ass.**

The message kept flashing into his head, again and again.

Then, he quickly went downstairs and put on his coat. He to into his car and started the engine.

He didn't know if what he had to say was bright, but he hoped it would be promising enough for her to reconsider her decision to leave him behind.

Finn drove as fast as he could, hopping not to be too late.

He was approaching the train station when he saw a train leaving, so he accelerated and drove toward it. Then, he parked his car, not taking time to stop the car's engine.

He ran toward the leaving train. Seeing it getting further away, he put his hands on his head. He was late; he had always been too late.

"_Finn_!" said a soft voice behind him.

Finn turned to face her, wanting to know if he was dreaming or if reality was giving him another chance to make things right. Seeing that it really was Rachel, he ran to her, took her into his arms and held her tight.

"_I thought I had missed you, that you were already gone. I am so glad I caught you before having a chance to change your mind_." Finn said, holding Rachel.

Hearing Finn, Rachel stepped back.

"_I am not changing my mind Finn, I going_." She said, not looking at Finn in the eyes.

"_You can't leave me like this Rach_." said Finn, taking Rachel's chin with his hand and bringing him to look at her. "_I love you_." He added, stepping closer to Rachel and he kissed her like he had never kissed her before.

As much as Rachel wanted to kiss him back, she knew that it would only make thing worst.

"_I love you too, but it's my dream Finn, a dream I had way before you_." said Rachel, stepping out of his embrace. "_Try to understand."_ she added, almost pleading and trying to keep her composure.

"_Am I not important to you_?" Finn asked her, clearing his voice.

"_You are Finn. You are my first love. A part of me will always love you_." Rachel said taking his hand.

Finn took advantage of her move to try to drag her closer to him, but Rachel forced herself to stay where she was.

"_I have to go Finn, for me. I have to do this for me, for my love of music, passion for singing and my hope to become my own gold star_." said Rachel, looking at Finn. "_We both need to move on with our life, as much as it hurt right now_." added Rachel, still holding Finn hands.

"_Is there something I can do to stop you from leaving? I will leave Santana, the football team, anything_…" Finn asked, almost pleading.

"_No, you have to let me go and have a happy life Finn."_ answered Rachel softly.

"_How am I supposed to do that_?" asked Finn, snatching his hands away from hers.

"_Be the Finn Hudson I fell in love with_." Rachel said as tears started to fall on her cold cheeks.

Finn made a move to whip her tears away, but she stopped him.

"_You will become a wonderful man, Finn, once you've decided to grow up_. _You will fly away from Lima too and, in a few years, you will become a well known quarterback in the NFL, you will totally forget about me_." Rachel said crying. "_I believe in you Finn, in the man you will become. All you have to do is believe in it too and it will happen!_" added Rachel, whipping her tears.

"_You speak like we are never going to see each other again_." Finn said, starting to cry. He whipped his tears as soon as they fell from his eyes.

"_I don't intent to come back Finn. I am going to NYC to stay, if they want me_!" said Rachel, still crying.

"_They will Rach. They are crazy if they don't_. "Finn said, reaching out to touch her face, but this time, she let him to it.

He took her into his arms and held her tightly.

Then, a train horn interrupted them; Rachel train arrived in station. So, they parted from each other, reluctantly. They both whipped the tears falling from their eyes. Finn took Rachel's suitcases and helped her getting it onboard.

Her suitcases on board, Rachel faced Finn for one last time. Then, she forced herself to stop crying and to smile.

"_I want you to remember me this way, Finn._" said Rachel, softly, trying to fight back her tears.

Finn interrupted her and took her into his arms. He held her for few minutes. Then, he took a step back and leaned in to kiss passionately.

Finn stepped back, out of breath.

"_I want you to remember me this way_." said Finn looking directly in Rachel's eyes. "_And, if the bright lights spit you out, know that my arms will be waiting to comfort you_." He added, as one tears rolled from his eyes.

"_I don't expect nor want you to wait for me_!" said Rachel's voice, shaking, between two slobbers.

"_I know, but_…" Finn started to say before Rachel hugged him once more.

Knowing that the train was about to go soon, Finn stepped back, but Rachel didn't let him go.

After few minutes, Rachel finally stepped back, whipped her tears and went on board, not looking at Finn.

He watched her go, lost for words. He couldn't believe that it was the last time they ever see, he refused to believe so.

Rachel sat next to the window where she could see Finn standing, blankly.

The engine started slowly, the departure horn resonated and the wheels started to roll away.

"_Have a nice life Finn_." screamed Rachel.

Finn didn't answer; he ran a long side the train until the end of the platform. Then, he watched the train leaving, taking a part of him with it.

Rachel cried for a while after the train's departure. She couldn't stop thinking to what she was leaving behind; her family, her friends, her first love.

She had always pictured her future with Finn. She had never imagined anybody but him to be her first. She had often dreamed that she would marry him and have his children, but now she had to erase those pictures and replace it a dream. However, she knew that this could be the start of something good, something she had been waiting all her life.

A little less than tow hours after her departure, she began to see the bright lights of New York City through the windows; it made her smile. The lights were bewitching her. She hopped that they could shine enough to help her forget about Lima Ohio and a certain Finn Hudson.

The train was long gone, but a tall silhouette was still standing on the far end of the platform 8 in Lima train's station. Finn stayed there, for minutes, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe she was gone. Yes, he knew she would get out of Lima, but not this soon. He knew he had been selfish, but he didn't care, he wanted her, he needed her, but, now, she was gone, forever.

Starring at the ground, he walked toward his car slowly and got in. Then, suddenly, he hit the steering wheels with his fists; he had to let his anger out. After ten big hits on the steering wheel, he let himself fall onto it and cried.

After 10 minutes, he whipped his tears and fastened his seatbelt. Seconds later, he started his car and went away. Unable to hear his brain screams Rachel's name anymore, he decided to pump up the radio; music could certainly help him getting his mind off the pain he was feeling.

Hearing the song's beginning and recognizing it, he started to sing as loud as he could.

_You say you gotta go and find yourself  
You say that you're becoming someone else  
Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you  
You say you're leaving as you look away  
I know there's really nothing left to say  
Just know I'm here whenever you need me, I will wait for you_

So I'll let you go, I'll set you free  
And when you've seen what you need to see  
When you find you...come back to me

Take your time, I won't go anywhere  
Picture you with the wind in your hair  
I'll keep your things right where you left 'em, I'll be here for you.

Oh, and I'll let you go, I'll set you free  
And when you've seen what you need to see  
When you find you...come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need  
I'll be right here, waiting to see  
You find you...come back to me

And I can't get close if you're not there  
I can't get inside if there's no soul there  
I can't fix you, I can't save you  
It's something you'll have to do.  


_So I'll let you go, I'll set you free  
And when you've seen what you need to see  
When you find you...come back to__ me  
Come back to me_

When you find you...come back to me  
When you find you...come back to me

_When I find you...come back to me_

Finn arrived home as the song ended. He parked his car in the driveway. He got off it, walked to the door and entered the house. The lights were all out and there was no sign of any presence in the house.

Noiseless, he opened the light of the living room and found a note on the table.

_Finn, _

_We're all at Mercedes's. You should come. You shouldn't be alone tonight. _

_Kurt_

Finn took the note, folded it and threw it in the trash can.

He didn't feel like seeing anybody. He felt sore, queasy and he had a major headache. All he wanted to do was to get upstairs, close the lights and sleep.

Once upstairs, without opening the lights, he stripped down to his boxer and t-shirt and threw himself into his bed.

When his heard hit his pillow, he heard a rustling. So, he grabbed the paper. He stretched to open the light to be able to read the message.

_You are my gold star.__ Rach XXX_

He read it again and again.

Then, he closed back the light and spread himself into his bed.

That night, Finn made himself a promise. He would prove himself to be worth Rachel Berry and, one day, she would come back to him or he would get back to her because no way in hell he would let her go that easy.

**Song: Come back to me by David Cook.**


	20. Living the dream or not so much…

Chapter 20

Living the dream or not so much…

Life in New York City wasn't what Rachel had expected at first. She had thought that people would be awaiting her with arms wide open, but she was wrong.

Her first week-end had been magical. She had found her way easily among New York's streets; she had spent her week-end out, visiting monuments, museums and parks. She was enjoying herself, living the dream, but, on Sunday night, the nightmare began when she met her roommate, named Sarah, who answered Rachel's question with monosyllabic words, ignoring her.

On Monday morning, she met the school director. She gave him her file. In return, he gave her a schedule and welcomed her without much enthusiasm. Then, he asked her to leave dryly.

Fifteen minutes after, she finally found the classroom in which she was going to spend all her mornings, from Monday to Friday.

Rachel was welcomed by Mr. Hatwood, her academic teacher. He introduced Rachel to the other students, but most of them kept talking with each other or kept doing what they had been doing before their teacher's interlude. Rachel sat in an empty chair close to Mr. Hatwood's desk.

At lunch time, she followed the crowd into the cafeteria. She waited almost thirty minutes for group of students to leave a table. She sat there and ate alone.

She went to her afternoon class; her artistic class where she would be allowed to fully live her dream, her passion for the stage. The classroom was the auditorium. Few mirrors, accessories were already settled on stage. She couldn't help smiling thinking about the great time she would have on that stage. Following the others students, she sat in the audience's seats.

The art teacher, Mrs Simons, arrived on stage. She looked at her students, jaded, and told them I would be a tough semester. She also said that the first play they would tackle would be West side story. It made Rachel smile. She was well prepared for that; she already knew almost every words of it. Mrs Simons continued her speech saying she would hold auditions tomorrow during the next class. Few minutes after, she distributed the play to her students and she told them to go rehearsing for tomorrow's auditions.

Rachel took the book eagerly and left the room almost running.

The temperature was clement so she decided to go in Central park to read the play, to be ready for her audition. She was quite optimist about getting the lead. She already knew the songs and had dreamed so many times about being Maria; it seemed only natural to her.

She came back to her dormitory at seven, did a bit of homework for her academic class, read the song she would sing tomorrow two more times and she went to bed to get her beauty sleep. She fell asleep smiling, telling herself the day ahead couldn't the worst than the first one.

The next morning, she wake up signing and prepared herself for the beautiful day ahead. Outside, it was raining, but she didn't care; for her, nothing could ruin this day.

She tried to listen as carefully as she could in her academic class, but she couldn't stop thinking about her audition that would take place later in the afternoon.

Once again, Rachel had lunch alone. Obviously, people in this school weren't very friendly with strangers, but they weren't bullying her either. For them, she was invisible.

When the clock indicated one, Rachel ran to the auditorium and sat on the front row, ready to sing her guts out.

Mrs Simons arrived few minutes after and told them that she would proceed in alphabetical order for the auditions. Then, the teacher called out her name; Rachel was the first to go.

Rachel walked on stage trying to look confident. She took a deep breath and started to sing. She really thought she was doing a good job, but Mrs Simons interrupted her before the end of her song. Surprised, Rachel looked at her teacher as Mrs Simmons told her to get back to her seat. Then, the teacher called another name.

Rachel went back to her place, disappointed, almost crying. She saw her classmates performed without really listening to them.

After the class, she went directly to the dormitories and tried to concentrate on her academic assignments, but she couldn't stop thinking about her audition and how bad it had made her feel. God, she was missing Mr. Shuster and Glee.

On Wednesday, things went roundly in her academic class and, once more, she ate alone at lunch. Then, she went to her art class where Mrs Simmons already waited for them in the auditorium.

She told them that Matt Daily would be playing Tony, but that she hadn't decided yet who would portray Maria. The teacher asked the girls to prepare another song for Thursday. Then, Mrs Simmons showed them the movie based on West side story musical.

At 4 o'clock, everybody left, except Rachel who got on stage to see her teacher.

"_Hi, Mrs Simons, I am Rachel Berry. I was wondering if you could give me a few tips on how to reinforce my performance. I really want this role_." Rachel asked her teacher, softly.

"_Ms Berry, first of all, new students never get the lead on first attempt, that's how it works here, only really rare exceptions had forced my hand, but it's not going to be your case; your first audition was merely acceptable in our school standards. Maybe next year you will be ready, with hard work and full commitment in being the part. Till then, listen and learn Ms Berry_." said the teacher to her, after slightly glancing at her.

Rachel swallowed the tears that were about to fall from her eyes and was about to run from the witch when she talked.

"_Another thing before you go, I have seen your DVDs Ms Berry_." said her teacher looking at her, taking off her glasses. "_Find back those emotions that you were living through those songs and then, I will consider your skills_." said the woman to a crying Rachel.

Rachel left the auditorium crying loudly. She kept running till she got out of school, hitting few people on her way out. She went directly to her dorm and started to pack her things back into her suitcases.

She emptied her drawers angrily, but stopped when she grabbed the glee club picture that she was displayed on her bedside table. She looked at it, lovingly.

No, she couldn't go back to them without really trying and make them proud. She had to stay at least one more week or the pain she had felt leaving would have been for nothing.

Sighing, she unpacked her clothes, but kept the picture close to her. She was missing her friends, people who cared about her.

Then, she thought about what used to make her fell good in her darkest times. She thought about her clandestine meetings with Puck and how it had allowed her to fully live her emotions. So, she took her tripod and video camera and went back to school.

Luckily for her, the school's doors weren't closed yet, but the corridors were deserted. She walked quickly to the auditorium.

This giant place seemed cold to her, much colder than their tiny auditorium in Lima.

Once on stage, she installed her tripod and camera, went to the middle of the scene and closed her eyes. She forced herself to think about the one thing she would have wanted to see at that very moment, the one thing that would comfort her. The answer popped into her head; two gorgeous hazelnut oceans. She opened her eyes and started to sing.

_I get lost, in your eyes  
And I feel my spirits rise  
And soar like the wind  
Is it love that I am in?  
I get weak in a glance  
Isn't this what's called romance?  
And that's what I know  
Cause when I'm lost  
I can't let go _

_I don't mind  
Not knowing what I'm headed for  
You can take me to the skies  
It's like being lost in heaven  
When (and) I'm lost in your eyes _

_I just felt  
Don't know why  
Something is there  
We can't deny  
Ooh, when I first knew  
Was when I first looked at you  
And if I  
Can't find my way  
If salvation  
Seems miles away  
Oh, I'll be found  
When I'm lost in your eyes _

_I get weak in a glance  
Isn't this what's called romance  
Oh, I'll be found  
When I am lost  
In your eyes._

Once again, she sang her song visualizing Finn sitting in the first row. She sang her heart out and her emotions echoed in the room like a loud thunder.

When she finished her song, she looked in front of her and she saw a security guard coming go her.

"_Ms, you have to leave now or I'll have to escort you outside_." said an old man, walking toward her.

Rachel looked at him, took her video camera, her tripod and walked toward him slowly.

"_She's with me_." said a voice behind them. "_I'll make sure she leaves soon and safely_." added Mrs Simmons, hands on her waist.

The guard left the room leaving the two women alone together. Rachel looked at Mrs Simmons who didn't seem please.

"_School intrusion on first week; you don't do thing half way, do you Ms Berry_?" said Mrs Simmons, patting foot. "_You are fearless little singer, I like it!"_ the teacher added, almost smiling.

Rachel didn't know what to say, she just smiled back.

"_You should go Ms Berry. Get some sleep! I suggest you rest yourself. I don't want to regret what I am about to do_." Mrs Simmons said sharply.

"_Does that mean you are giving me Maria_?" said Rachel, stunned, running toward her teacher to hug her, but the older women stopped her.

"_If you give a solid performance tomorrow, yes, I will, but keep your emotions and acting for the stage Ms Berry_!" said Mme Simons. "_See you tomorrow_!" the older woman added before turning her back on Rachel.

"_Thank you Mrs Simmons, I promise you won't regret it_!" said Rachel overjoyed.

"_Don't thank me yet Ms Berry. Hard work is all I care about."_ said Mrs. Simons before leaving the stage.

Rachel left seconds after her teacher's departure. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She had won the part she wanted so desperately.

Once in her dorm, she really wanted to tell someone the wonderful news. Since computers and phones were forbidden in the dormitories, she decided to write a letter to Kurt, to tell him how happy she was.

She also hoped that everything was alright in Lima, that Finn was alright…

**Song: Lost in your eyes by Debbie Gibson.**


	21. No directions

**Chapter 21**

**No directions**

When Rachel left McKinley, New Directions became more No Directions, but Finn decided to take charge of things and secured his captain spot. Even if he missed Rachel dearly, he had decided put his mind into Regional's; there were still a lot things to do to assure glee's salvation and encouraged him to think that Rachel would be proud if he succeeded.

He recruited an exchange student from Canada named Kevin Adams who agreed easily to join glee to be their twelfth member. The guy was talented enough, but he wasn't the female lead he was looking for.

He knew that Rachel would be pretty difficult to replace, but they had Mercedes and Santana as potential female lead. He largely preferred Mercedes to Santana. However, the latest being his girlfriend, it would have been an awkward to say that he preferred someone else. So, he decided to take matters into his own hands and break up with Santana; time was come for the masquerade to stop. He was sure that he could find a way to make her understand that their bargain was leading them nowhere. He just hopped that Santana would see it his way.

One night, a week after Rachel's departure, he sent Santana a text message asking her to come to his house this very moment because he needed to see her.

She quickly answered him, saying that she would come to his house right away.

When he received her answer, Finn sighed.

"_Step one accomplished! Now, step two. Don't flinch, Hudson_!" he told him, throwing his phone on the far side of the bed and letting himself fall on his pillow.

Santana arrived ten minutes later. She entered his room promptly and closed the door behind her. She jumped on Finn. She straddled him and began to pull off her shirt.

"_What are you doing_?" asked Finn loudly, keeping her from undressing.

"_You said you needed to see me; I assumed you needed my expertise, Finnocence_." replied Santana twisting her pelvis on Finn's waist.

"_I wanted to talk to you_." said Finn, taking her off him and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"_I don't do talking Finnocence_." Santana replied getting of the bed and stood in front of Finn. She caressed Finn's head with her breast.

Finn didn't know what to do to get her attention. He didn't want to be too forceful on her, but Santana was leaving him no other options. So, he pushed her away, stood up and faced her. He took her wrist strongly.

"_I think it would be better if we break up_." said Finn, trying to sound convincing, but his voice shook slightly at the end of his sentence.

"_You are not meant to think Finn_" said Santana snatching out of his grip.

Finn sat on the edge of his bed.

"_Listen, I don't love you, you don't love me, we don't even like each other that much so why the hell are we staying together_?" said Finn sincerely. "_You don't need me to be top dog, you are it, Santana; you're scary, bossy, you can control them all without me_!" he added looking at her.

"_People don't break up with me Finnonsence_." said Santana, looking at him angrily.

"_Say you broke up with me, make up a reason, I don't care. Let's just break up okay_." said Finn sighing.

"_Okay, I break up with you_" said Santana, almost smiling.

Then, she left Finn's room, his house and his life. Finn thought it was too good to be true. He should have think a little bit more...

Going out of Finn's room, Santana had thought of a plan that would kill Finn's reputation. She knew just how much boys were sensitive about their sense of performance.

People didn't break up with her and Finnoncence would learn it the hard way...

The next morning, Finn entered the school as a free man. Walking in the hallway, he saw a lot of people starring at him, in a strange way. Nobody said hi or hi-fived him; he just got starring, whispering and laughing. He really wondered what was wrong. Then, he remembered; Santana.

When Finn saw Santana walking in the hallway, he walked toward her.

"_What did you told everybody? What kind of story did you make up_?" asked Finn eagerly to his ex girlfriend.

"_I didn't make up anything. People wanted to know why I broke up with you and your little quicky problem slipped, I am so sorry_." Santana replied, smiling widely.

Then, Finn took a look around and he saw that everybody was looking at them. He knew that gossips were spreading faster than leprosy; he knew that everybody knew about his little mailman problem.

Finn ran as fast as he could into the choir room where he stayed hidden until his first period. He hopped that people would forget it, and fast.

For a few days, people kept starring and laughing at him. Some people even started to call him Finn "the mailman" Hudson.

As much as it was hurting him and his dearest reputation to hear those things, he knew that breaking up with Santana had been the right things to do.

Luckily, he had Glee club where he was still Finn.

After few days, Finn thought that things were about to change. An important football game was coming soon and he knew that if he won it, he could get back onto his feet and redeem other's respect. Unfortunately for Finn, two bullies didn't see thing that way.

The day of the game, Finn arrived one hour before the game. He put on his uniform. He was reading the play book for the third time when he heard two people approaching him. They came from behind, put a sock into his mouth and a black pillow case on his head. They forced him to sit on a chair and tied him up onto it. After, they brought the chair in a closet and closed the door.

Finn spent all night in the closet, trying to untie himself by shaking the chair as strongly as he could. He finally succeeded hours after.

Once he had untied his legs and arms, he pulled off the pillow case of his head and spited the sock.

When he got out of the closet, he came face to face with coach Beast.

"_Where were you Hudson?_" she said, angrily at him. "_You're lucky Evans won the game for us. Prepare yourself for benching, big time_." the coach added in the same tone.

Then, Azimio and Karofsky entered the room.

"_For once, you are late, really late, Mr. Mailman boy_." said Azimio glancing at Karofsky.

Finn made a step toward them; he really wanted to punch their face off.

"_Come down Hudson or you will stain your boxers_." said Azimio laughing.

"_Don't worry, he isn't as quick with his fists as he is with his... gun..._" replied Karosky, hi-fiving his friend.

Finn knew it was them that had staged the prank and he wanted to make them pay, but he knew he had to wait, he couldn'tact now with the team around; he was willing to take this one for the team, not knowing that they had change their mind about his leadership.

Finn learned a sad new on Monday afternoon, during football practice. Coach Beast was really benching him for their next game. That day, Sam became the new Titan's quarterback.

Finn went to coach Beast's office to explain to her that he had been played that was why he wasn't at the game.

She believed him. She even said she would talk to the rest of the team and severely punish those who were responsible for the prank, but her decision remained the same. Sam had won a game, so he would continue to play until he'd lose.

That night, lying in his bed, he thought about Rachel. He remembered how much she could make him better at the end of a bad day. He wished he could see her, talk to her about the bad days he was having.

He closed his eyes, hopping that Rachel would meet him in his dream.


	22. To Finn with love

**Chapter 22**

**To Finn with love**

Mrs Simons had kept her word and, as promised, she gave the lead to Rachel after she had knocked out her second audition the day after.

When the teacher told them that Rachel was getting the lead, everybody started to look at her and actually see her. Her lousy roommate started to talk to her and she was now invited by many people for lunch. Guys started to ask her out and girls wanted to be her new best friend; she was finally accepted by others, but Rachel didn't want or need their sudden false admiration and friendship. All she wanted to do was giving her all to Maria and to Mrs Simons who was, a really good teacher, demanding, hard, but fair.

She was working hard in her academic class and for the play, rehearsing on Saturdays and sometimes on Sundays. She was head over heels in love with her character and the play.

She fell off her happiness cloud, less than a week after, when she received a letter from Kurt.

_Hi Maria _

_Happy to hear you are adjusting well to your new environment.__ However, I'm very surprised to hear from you by mail, I thought you were stuck in NYC, not in the 19__th__ century, but let's be ancient, shall we._

_I am very thrilled you've got Maria__! What a role! I so wished to be at your place. I hope you have a decent Tony thought_.

_Here, thing__s are adjusting as well. Blaine and I are officially dating. I am very happy he reciprocate my feelings, but it would be more easy for both of us if our classmates, teammates and the school board were more supportive of our new status. It seems like they are tolerant and accepting two gay students until they find each other's arm. I am really considering getting back to McKinley. However, I don't think that Blaine would follow me. He really has a soft spot for the Warblers and that's a part of why I like him so much. _

_Glee__ is going strong. Finn really stepped up his captainship. He recruited a twelfth member to be able to access Regional's. He doesn't want to tell me more about him; he keeps telling me I am competition. He really works hard to stay above water under the circumstances._

_If you could send __him a little word I am sure it could help him passing through the hard time he is having now. I don't want to worry you, he isn't sick or dying, but he could really use all the love he can get right now. I really think that you are the best person to set his mood right._

_I'll keep you posted._

_Lovingly, _

_Kurt._

After reading Kurt's letter, Rachel was really worried. Knowing that Finn was in trouble, her smile disappeared. She wanted to do something for Finn, but she didn't know what to do. She thought that a simple note wouldn't be representative of her, but a song would be…

So, one night, after rehearsals, she asked Mrs Simons if she could borrow the auditorium later on for a personal project. Her teacher finally accepted, but not before warning her that she should rest her voice for future rehearsals.

She needed help with the filming part, so she asked one of her classmate, her personal assistant that Mrs. Simmons had chosen for her, to help with her special assignment. The girl accepted and Rachel asked her to meet her in half an hour in the auditorium.

Minutes after, Rachel went to the library, sat in front of a computer and wrote few words on Google. She chose a song, printed the lyrics and went back to her room to change. She decided to wear the outfit that Kurt had brought her the day she left. She put her video camera, her tripod and her lyrics sheets in her handbag. All set, she got out of her room, entered the school and walked quickly to the auditorium.

There, Anna, her assistant, was already waiting for her. So, Rachel gave the girl her directions. She asked her to sit on the front row and film her every move, but, furthermore, all her emotions. She also told Anna that she had to stop filming when she will blow a kiss.

Then, she went onstage and asked Anna to push the REC button.

After her last note, she looked directly at the camera.

"_Hope you know that someone in this world still care about you Finn_." she said, facing the camera and blowing a kiss.

Then, Anna stopped filming and put the camera on the seat next to her. She went on stage and told Rachel how beautiful and emotional her rendition had been. Rachel thanked Anna for her help. The other girl hugged her and left.

Alone, Rachel cried for few minutes. Sure, she didn't need to sing a song for Finn to think about him, she was thinking about him every day, every hour, every minute, every second, but this song had made things more real, more hurtful.

Whipping her tears, she left the stage and the auditorium. Slowly, she walked to her dorm. There, she changed herself into pyjama, sat in front of her work table, took a piece of paper, a pen and started to write.

_De__arest Kurt,_

_Your last letter worried me a little, but thanks for warning me about Finn_.

_You'll find, joined to this letter, a little something for him, hopping he__'ll feel better, not worst. I followed your orders general…_

_However, I have few recommendations for you. I'd like this __DVD to be displayed for Finn in the auditorium as a private screening. I know you don't have your entry at McKinley anymore, buy asked Puck for help, he is good with sound systems and he has a special way to get into the auditorium. Maybe he will be a little hard to convince, but if you say it is for me, he will accept to help you. You can always watch it in your leaving room with him, but it won't have the same effect._

_Sorry, Kurt, __I have to close the light now, curfew!_

_Goodnight Kurt. Take care._

_Rachel XXX_

Rachel put the period to her last sentence. Then, she put the tape and the letter on her bedside table.

Tomorrow, she would transfer the tape to a DVD and post it to Finn, with Love.

**So guys, which song did Rachel sang to Finn? No clue. Stay tunned for the next chapter to find out!**


	23. To Finn with love, part2

**Chapter 23**

**To Finn with love, part 2**

Three days after Rachel sent her package, the letter and DVD arrived at the Hummel household; Burt received it. When he saw it was from NYC and from Rachel, he left it on the table for Finn to see.

Luckily, that day, Kurt came back early from Dalton Academy. He was coming out from a Warblers reunion where they had all laughed at him when he had suggested that he should sing a power ballad with Blaine at Regional's.

Kurt was tired of being an outcast when he could be an accepted and respected addition somewhere else. He knew that his friends from New Directions would welcome him back arms wide opened.

Kurt was entering the kitchen when he saw the package on the table. He walked toward the table and took it into his hands. Then, he saw it is was from Rachel, but addressed to him and not to Finn.

Without further notice, he opened the package. He found the DVD first. On it, he read TO FINN WITH LOVE. Then, he opened the letter.

"_That girl will never change_!" said Kurt, smiling.

The refolded the letter and agreed to put Rachel's plan to execution.

First, Kurt went to his room and called Puck.

"_Hey Hummel, trying to get hints for Regional's; try Hudson, he needs to kiss and tell_." said Puck laughing.

"_No, that's not it_." answered Kurt sighing.

"_Don't tell me you want to ask me out; finally some sense came into you_." said Puck laughing even more.

"_Very funny Puckerman, but a called for other matters, I have something to ask you, or Rachel has something to ask you, should I say_." said Kurt seriously.

"_You've got news from Berry. How is she?"_ asked Puck, suddenly more interested by the conversation.

"_She's fine. In fact, she is great. She obtained the lead in her school play. Everything is going just beautifully in her new big world_." said Kurt, a bit jealous.

"_If things are going so perfectly, how could I help her_?" said Puck, curious.

"_When I wrote back to her, I made a slip, I told her about Finn's conditions_." Kurt said."_She sent me DVD for him, to boost his moral, at least I think that's what it is_." he added quickly, not to give Puck a change to interrupt him.

"_I should have known that Hudson had something to do with it_!" said Puck, sighing.

"_In her letter, she says that you can sneak us, Finn and I, in the auditorium and take care of the projection, she says that you are the best for it_." said Kurt to boost his ego. "_What do you say_?" asked Kurt, almost pleading.

"_I don't know. Hudson isn't one of my main preoccupation right now_." said Puck dryly.

"_She says please_." replied Kurt, pleading him.

"_Okay, but I am doing it for her, not for that dumbass named Hudson and because I have nothing more interesting to do._" said Puck sighing. "_What's your plan, Hummel, I am pretty your silly brain has cooked something yet_." added Puck, sighing again.

"_As a matter of fact it did_." said Kurt, pretty happy with himself. "_At six, text Finn, tell him there is a special football practice at school, and that Coach Beast wants to see you all in the auditorium first. Then, do what you want to do, tie him up to a chair if you have to, but he has to stay in the auditorium. Then, you go and install the needs of the projection_." said Kurt. _"I'll be following you, just make sure to let the door open_." said Kurt, happy with himself.

"_Deal. I'll sneak in with Hudson by the outside gym's door; I'll let it open behind me. Let's meet in the 6:30_." said Puck seriously. "_I'll take care of Hudson_." added Puck laughing.

"_What are you planning to do to him_?" asked Kurt, a bit worried.

"_No worries, I won't arm your little brother, I'll only have a little fun with him_." Puck answered laughing. "_See you later_." Puck added before hanging up.

Kurt was pretty happy with his plan; he just hopped that his scheme wouldn't be too brutal for Finn.

At six, everyone was sitting at the kitchen table, eating.

"_Finn did you see the package from New York for you_." asked Burt to the tall boy.

Hearing those words, Finn hardly swallowed his food and Kurt hit his father from under the table.

"_It was for me dad; skin product that are made there, nothing more_." Kurt replied dryly.

The smile that had begun to rise in Finn's face disappeared and he concentrated himself back on his plate, but, this time, only playing with his food.

Then, Finn phone vibrated. He received a text from Puck.

**Special practice Hudson! Now! Meet me in the school parking lot. Could be dangerous to go by yourself; remember the last time. I'll wait for you. Hurry your sorry ass Hudson...**

Seeing Puck's text, Finn rose from the table. The rest of the household looked at him.

"_Football practice, I have to go. I'll come back late if everything works out right_." said Finn in a hurry. Then, he went to the living room, put on his coat and ran outside.

Five minutes later, it was Kurt's turn to rise from the table. He thanked Carol for the excellent meal. Without further explanations, Kurt went upstairs and took Rachel's package from his desk. Next, he came back to the living room, put on his coat and went to McKinley High.

Kurt drove speedily to his ancient school. When he arrived there, he saw Finn's and Puck's cars in the parking lot. Then, he went to the gymnasium outside door that was held open by a rock, stuck between the door frame and the door itself.

Kurt passed the door and entered the school. As noiseless as he could, he walk toward the auditorium.

When he entered the large doors, he saw Puck working on stage, installing the flat screen, but he didn't see Finn. So, he walked toward the stage and then he saw poor Finn, tied up to a seat in the front row, gagged, merely unable to move.

"_What have you done Puckerman_?" asked Kurt not believe his own eyes.

"_Told you I would have fun, Hummel_." said Puck, coming in front of them, smiling widely. "_Everything is set_." Puck said, letting himself fall into the seat next to Finn.

Then, Kurt put the DVD in the DVD drive and came back with the remote control under Finn's scrutiny. Finn was looking at Kurt completely stunned, not believing that his own brother would agree to this.

"_Finn, before I bring down your gag, you have to make me a promise. Don't scream or it can go badly for the 3 of us. We are not here to hurt you or anything like that, not willingly I mean. We are here because a commune friend asked us too; she has a message for you_." said Kurt gently. "_I think we better let her talk for herself_." said Kurt as he brought down Finn's gag and pushed the play button on the remote control.

Then, Finn couldn't believe his own eyes. He saw Rachel, a new Rachel, dressing like a woman. She had already changed and she had been there only for 2 weeks. She started to speak. Bedazzled by the voice he longed to hear, he listened to her, mind and soul.

_Hi Finn. _

_One of my little fingers I left in Ohio told me that you were going through a tough time. _

_Since you've played a big part in the success I have here, I wanted to give something back to you. I hope it makes you feel my love_.

Then, she started to sing.

_When the rain is blowing in your face  
And the whole world is on your case  
I could offer you a warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
But I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
No doubt in my mind where you belong_

_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
There's nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

_The storms are raging on the rollin' sea  
And on the highway of regret  
The winds of change are blowing wild and free  
You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends of the earth for you  
To make you feel my love_

The song ended and Finn saw Rachel walking toward the camera.

"_Hope you know that someone in this world still care about you Finn_" she said blowing a kiss.

Many minutes after the end of Rachel's song and that Kurt had stopped the projection, Finn reminded unable to move.

"_She is never coming back_." said Finn, digesting the perfect performance she had just witnessed.

Kurt and Puck looked at him wondering what was going on in Finn's mind.

"_God, you aren't only dumb, you are blind, doubled with a bad case of deafness, Hudson_. _You wouldn't recognize a declaration of love even if it punched you in the face_. _What more could you want from her_? _Are you waiting for her to rip out her rib cage and give you her bleeding heart, literally?_" Puck screamed to Finn, rising off his seat.

"_She is thousand miles away from here, but she will never be away from you, Hudson, never_." added Puck, looking at Finn angrily.

Finn looked at Puck, stunned.

"_She would have chosen you Hudson, if you had forgiven her for few unfelt kisses, you dumbass_." said Puck, walking toward the auditorium doors

"_So, nothing happened between you two_?" asked Finn, looking unsurely at Puck.

"_Never had one ounce of a chance with her, you have her heart, Hudson. Always have, always will, not that I understand why_." said Puck, turning back to face Kurt and Finn. Then he walked pass the door.

Finn watched Puck leaving and took his head in his hands.

"_Puck's right. She is not getting over you, you know, probably not now, nor ever_." said Kurt, freeing Finn.

Then, Kurt went on stage to get the DVD and came back off stage to give it to Finn. His gift in hands, the tall boy rose from his seat and both guys walked back to their own cars. During the walk to the parking lot, Finn reminded silent. They split at their respective cars and Kurt told Finn that he was going home and, if he wanted to, they could talk about it later. Then, Kurt got into his car and went away.

Finn looked at his brother leaving. They had stage that for him, for him to feel better; his brother and Puck, Puck who loved Rachel who loved him more, Finn.

However, that thought didn't make him feel better. Then, he remembered the promise he had made himself a few nights ago. Now, he had the proof, on DVD, that she still loved him and he was willing to wait and fight for her if he had to. Their love was still alive and as long as there was love, there was hope...

So, when he entered his house, he went directly into his room, took a piece of paper, a pen and started to write. He would do anything he could to keep their love alive until they find their way back to each other arms again...

**Song: To make you feel my love by Bob Dylan**


	24. Regionals

**Chapter 24**

**Regionals**

Few days after she posted her video to Finn, she received a letter from him.

_Rach_,

_I want to thank you for __your video, it really was great to see you performed in you new school, but I knew you would do good in NYC, it's only natural, you were made for the stage, no possible doubt about it now_.

_Here, we__ are fine, almost fine. I am having some minor problems at school, but nothing deathly, physically talking, but I am feeling better now, thanks to you_.

_I keep my mi__nd busy with Regional's coming. I take my captain duty very seriously, not that I have something more important to do since I have no girlfriend, football is a nightmare; there is nothing but glee to me now_...

_I am gla__d to say that we found our twelfth member and, guess what, Kurt's back and he brought us back a very big peace offering; Blaine. We are all very happy about this, seems like we only got to worry about Vocal adrenaline. Things look brightly for us, but we all miss you, I miss you..._

_Keep in touch. _

_Love Finn_

Reading his letter, few tears fell on the white paper. No, her feelings for Finn would never cease. His humble words had succeeded to turn her upside down and put another scratch on her heart. Although, she knew she would never totally get passed Finn, but she had to try to convince herself otherwise or she would run into his arms by the minute.

For the past two months, she had been concentring her mind on exercises, books and rehearsals, a lot of rehearsals.

Rachel had lots of acquaintances, but only one person she could call a friend; Anna, her assistant, who had help her with her video for Finn. She had proved herself to be really kind and funny, but she was also really curious, always questioning her and wanting to know more about the mysterious boy who she had sung her song too.

However, Rachel didn't like talking about Finn. Not because she was forgetting him or something close to it, but thinking of Finn meant, seeing his eyes, his face, longing for his arms to hold her, what she had been craving for since the moment she had left him.

Few guys have asked her out, but she had turned them down. Her co-star, Matt Daily, Tony's portrayer, had been more than consistent, harassing her for more than play's affection. He told her, many times, that they should get together for quality rehearsals, that practice would make everything perfect, and he wanted their love and kisses scenes to be perfect. Matt was good looking, in the Jessie St-James kind of way, but she knew that she was only the flavour of the semester; that, and the fact that he could never come close to Finn in any way, shape or form.

Things got a bit more complicated when she received another letter from the Hummel's household. She recognized Kurt's handwriting looking carefully at the envelope.

She opened the envelope and took the letter eagerly. A ticket fell from the letter on the floor next to Rachel. She unfolded the letter and read it.

_Hi Ms Berry,_

_Have you been kidnapped by alien__s? It's been a long time since we haven't heard from you. Aren't you ashamed of yourself or is your star is shinning too brightly that you have already forgotten you loser friends from Lima?_

_Anyway, there is the dirt on McKinley High, because, yes I am back on track and I brought my sweetheart with me. __I can't say it isn't rough sometimes, but, in the end, it is worth it, I never felt happy anywhere but here._

_Since my last letter, Finn's situation has evolve__d, thank to you, we have recovered our captain, full skill. He really gives it all for Regional's what brings me to my next subject._

_As you have noticed, I joined a ticket for the Regional's in the envelope. I don't know__ if you will be able to make it or if you even want to, but we would be more than happy to see you. Mr Shuster knows about this, but not the others, let's say it is a surprise for Finn if you come or he won't be hurt if you can't._

_For my p__art, I really hope to see you, Ms Berry so I can introduced you to Blaine. I know you will like him since I am overly in love with him!_

_Hope to see you sooner than later._

_Love, Kurt._

She folded back the letter and put it back into the envelope. Then, she reached for the ticket. She looked at the date. It was in two weeks on Saturday; she had extra rehearsals on Saturdays, so she didn't know if she could make it and she didn't know if it was a good thing for her to go.

She decided to sleep on the idea to take an enlighten decision. Little did she know that the night would only draw her closer to Finn.

That night, she dreamed about Finn. They were walking together in the New York's streets hands in hands, smiling. Then, he dropped her to school then disappeared the minute there hands parted from one another. Then, she wake up, sweating.

Rachel could still feel Finn's hand on hers. Her dream had been so vivid. She wanted his touch, she needed it and she knew where she could hold his hand for real; Regional's where she would go, she had too.

The next day she went to her academic class and she had lunch with Anna and her other "friends". She excused herself to them and went to see Mrs Simmons. She asked her permission to go home for a day two weeks from now.

At first, the teacher wasn't happy about it. They had a lot of things to do and the premiere for the play was due in two months. She said that they needed every minute to be perfectly prepared.

Rachel was about to leave, sadly, when the teacher called her back to tell her that she could go, but she had to come back the next day for an extra rehearsals on Sunday and special dinner with wealthy school's contributors who wanted to meet the play's star. Happily, she told her teacher that she will be there or she could recast her role.

After her class, she came back to her dorm and wrote back to Kurt to tell him that she would be there and she was impatient to see Finn, to see them...

On Regional's day, she took the train for Lima early in the morning to be there at 1 o'clock PM to be sure not to miss the multiple performances. She took her ticket back for tomorrow morning at 5 o'clock AM. She was so eager to see everyone performing and she was a bit sad to see it from the audience this time, but she was anxious to see Finn.

She arrived at the Lima train station at noon. Mr Shuster was already there to pick her up.

He welcomed her and he drove to Carmel High where the competition was held.

During the ride to Carmel High, she talked quickly and a lot about everything and Mr Shuster listened at her laughing.

When he stopped the car in the parking lot, he got off it, but she stayed in. Mr Shuster had to go to her side of the car and opened it for her. Then, she unfastened her seatbelt and she went out of the car.

She walked with Mr Shuster toward the door where Kurt was waiting for them.

When he saw her, Kurt run to her, took her into his arms and held her tight. He told her how happy he was to see her and he dragged her toward the green room.

Mr Shuster entered first and gave his glee club an encouraging speech. He also told them he had a surprise for them, a special guest for the occasion.

Then, Kurt entered the green room.

"_For only one night in Lima Ohio, from the big apple, Ms Rachel Berry_." said Kurt loudly, smiling at everyone.

Rachel finally entered the room.

When she set the foot in the room, everybody looked at her. They all smiled, obviously happy to see her. Puck was the first to go to her. He took her into his arms, lifted her off the ground and twirled her.

"_Took a few pounds Ms Berry_!" said Puck, putting her back on the ground.

Then, Mercedes came to see her, Tina, Artie, everybody. Kurt introduced her to Blaine; she loved instantly.

Then, she saw the person she really wanted to see. He had stayed in the corner of the room as if he had seen a ghost. He was looking at her, a dumb impression plastered on his face.

Then the light flashed.

"_Let's go guys_!" said Mr Shuster, guiding his group to the auditorium.

Everybody followed Mr Shuster, except Finn and Rachel who remained for few more seconds in the green room.

Finn walked toward Rachel silently. Rachel didn't want to say a word either; afraid to say something that would ruin a magic moment.

They just starred at each other, stars shinning in their eyes. Then, Rachel took his hand and dragged him to the auditorium where the other members of glee club were already settled for the first performance that would be the Warblers who had been chosen to perform first, then Vocal Andrenaline and New Directions.

They took place in the two remaining seats, one next to the other, Mr Shuster had taken Finn's place with the other students to let the Finn and Rachel spend as much time together as the could.

They sat next to each other and reminding silent, holding each other hands. They looked at each other often during the performance of the other two teams.

After Vocal Adrenaline performance, New Directions left Rachel to prepare themselves for their performance. Finn went to Mr Shuster and they talked for few minutes. Then, the teacher came back and sat next to Rachel, a smile plastered on his face.

Then, every light closed itself, and a tall silhouette came to sit on the edge of the scene.

The music started. A spot opened, showing Finn seating on the edge of the seat. He was looking her, straight into her heart.

**Finn**:

_Look into my eyes - you will see  
What you mean to me  
Search your heart - search your soul  
And when you find me there you'll search no more_

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for  
You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you  


Finn jumped off the stage and walked to Rachel, looking at her tenderly.

_Look into your heart - you will find_ (**Putting his hand over his heart**)  
_There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am - take my life  
I would give it all - I would sacrifice_

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you  


Finn kneeled down before Rachel. 

_There's no love - like your love  
And no other - could give more love  
There's nowhere - unless you're there  
All the time - all the way_

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you  


Finn took Rachel hand.

_Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you_

Finn kissed Rachel's hand.

At the end of the song, Finn left a crying Rachel and went back on stage under the stares of hundreds of people who were starring at them, applauding Finn's true emotions he had lived during the song.

Then, the curtain rose on Puck with his guitar and the rest of New Directions assembled in couple and they danced a choreographed tango.

**PUCK**:

_To really love a woman  
To understand her  
You gotta know her deep inside  
Hear every thought  
See every dream  
And give her wings when she wants to fly _

_And when you find yourself  
Lying helpless in her arms  
You know you really love a woman _

_When you love a woman  
You tell her that shes really wanted  
When you love a woman  
You tell her that she the one  
She needs somebody  
To tell her that its gonna last forever  
So tell me have you ever really  
Really really ever loved a woman _

_To really love a woman  
Let her hold you  
Do you know how she needs to be touched ?  
You gotta breath her  
Really taste her  
To you can feel her in your blood  
Then when you can see your unborn children in her eyes  
You know you really love a woman _

_When you love a woman  
You tell her that shes really wanted  
When you love a woman  
You tell her that shes the one  
She needs somebody  
To tell her that youll always be together  
So tell me have you ever really  
Really really ever loved a woman _

_When you love a woman  
You tell her that shes really wanted  
When you love a woman  
You tell her that shes the one  
She needs somebody  
To tell her that its gonna last forever  
So tell me have you ever really  
Really really ever loved a woman  
Just tell me have you ever really  
Really really ever loved a woman  
Just tell me have you ever really  
Really really ever loved a woman. _

Then, Puck posed his guitar on the side of the stage and brought his electric guitar to Artie. They all got together around Mercedes and Sam. Artie took place in the left of the stage and Finn brought his drum set. Then, another song started.

**Sam****:**

_When the feelin' is ended__  
There ain't no use pretendin'  
Don't ya worry - It's only love_

When your world has been shattered  
Ain't nothin' else matters  
It ain't over - It's only love  
And that's all - yeah  


**Mercedes**  
_When your heart has been broken  
Hard words have been spoken  
It ain't easy - but it's only love_

And your life ain't worth livin'  
And you're ready to give in  
Just remember - that it's only love  


**Both:**  
_You can live without the aggravation  
Ya gotta wanna win - ya gotta wanna win  
You keep lookin' back in desperation  
Over and over and over again  
_  
_When your world has been shattered  
Ain't nothin' else matters  
It ain't over - It's only love_

And if your life ain't worth livin'  
And you're ready to give in  
Just remember - that it's only love  
Ya - that's all

Ya it ain't easy baby  
But it's only love - and that's all

Then, the song ended and the curtain fell. Rachel accompanied the rest of the room as they all lift off their seats to applause.

New Directions stayed on stage and was rejoined minutes after by The Warblers and Vocal Adrenaline.

They were all aligned on the stage when the head judge, Rod Remington, came on stage.

"_And the winner is_?" said Rod Remington, opening the envelope...

**Songs: Everything I do, I do it for you by Bryan Adams**

** Have you ever really loved a woman by Bryan Adams**

** It's only love by Bryan Adams and Tina Turner**


	25. A place where we belong

**Chapter 25**

**A place where we belong**

"_McKinley High, New Directions_" said Rod Remington, screaming.

"_Congratulations, you guys are awaited in New York in less than two month for Nationals. Congratulation again_." said the judge, applauding.

Then, Rachel couldn't stop herself and jumped on stage. She tried to find Finn who was pretty easy to spot due to his height.

When he saw her running toward him, he walked to meet her. He welcomed her arms wide open and held her for what seemed to them eternity. Eyes closed, they savoured the real moment they were leaving at this very moment, after harsh months apart, after fighting, after mean words, but, this very instant, nothing counted for them, but the presence of one another.

They were interrupted by the others who came to congratulate their captain. Rachel reluctantly let go of Finn. She went back to her seat, in the audience, letting her ex teammates celebrate all together. That moment, for a painful minute, Rachel regretted leaving; she wished she could still be part of their something special.

They came back to her, a giant trophy in hands. Finn sat next to her.

"_This is part yours_. _I couldn't have sung my song like I did without you in the audience_." said Finn, taking her hand, kissed it.

Rachel was about to speak when Mr. Shuster interrupted them. He invited them to his house for Pizza.

They all cheered and went to their teacher's house to celebrate.

They all ate and talked for hours. Rachel told them about how great life was for her in her new city, but she told them that she was missing them too, all of them in their own way; she missed their individuality; because, in her school, everybody were only trying to look and play the part.

She met Kevin, the new guy who was really nice and got to know Blaine a little.

All dinner long, Finn had remained at her side. He often glanced at her and smiled, his shining half-crooked smile, his eyes full of stars and she could only look at him in the same way.

The students started to leave at nine.

At nine thirty, Kurt came to see Finn. He told his brother he was leaving. He asked Finn if he wanted to go back home with him. The tall guy responded that he would help Mr Shuster cleaning up. Saying it, he looked at Rachel. Then, Kurt understood he had other projects.

Kurt and Blaine came to see Rachel. They both held her and thanked her for the luck she had brought with her from New York. Kurt made her promise to send them tickets for her play's premiere, she kissed them both and said goodbye.

Rachel and Finn started to help Mr Shuster cleaning his place, but soon Mr. Shuster showed them the door, saying that they had more interesting things to do than helping him to clean this mess. Mr Shuster asked Rachel if she needed a ride home, but Rachel told him that she was about to ask Finn. More than happy to hear it, the boy shook his head happily. Then, he went to put on his coat and held Rachel's for her. She put it on and went to Mr Shuster. She told him goodbye and thanked him. He thanked her for coming and told her that she would always be welcomed to visit them. Finally, she left the house with Finn.

Finn drove to her house silently and slowly, he wanted their encounter to last as long as possible. However, he didn't know what to say; he didn't want to put a foot in his mouth like he had the tendency to do.

Ten minutes later, they arrived in front of the house and he stopped the engine. He slowly opened his door and she did the same on her side of the car. They met on the sidewalk and walked together to the door, looking at each other shyly, as if they were a young new couple in love.

Then, Rachel fumbled into her coat pocket, got her house keys and entered the house, but as she was about to get in, Finn grabbed her and kissed her.

"_I needed to do that, I couldn't wait anymore_." said Finn as he took a step back.

In only response, Rachel took his hand and dragged him inside, closing the door behind them.

Once inside, they both took off their coats and put them on the couch. Then, Rachel went to the kitchen and prepared two hot chocolate, she knew that Finn would be thrill about it.

Finn remained in the living room and sat on the couch, hands sweaty, heart beating fast. He was wondering what she was doing in the kitchen. Nervous, he rose off the couch and walked toward the bookcase.

Few minutes after, she came back to the living room with two full cups of the smoky liquid. Finn was looking at the movies displayed in the bookcase.

"_Is this the play you are going to be in?_" Finn asked her, holding the DVD.

"_Yes, it is_." said Rachel, holding his cup to him.

Finn put the DVD down and gently took his cup from Rachel hand, taking his time so their hands would brush against one another.

"Have you ever_ seen it?_" Rachel asked Finn, sitting on the couch, sipping her hot chocolate.

"_No! Never seen it_!" said Finn, sitting next to her, taking a sip too.

"_Do you want to_? _I mean, it's a long musical and you probably want to go home and sleep after the long day you just had._" said Rachel quickly to Finn, but hoping he would stay.

"_I'd love to stay and watch it with you._" said Finn looking at her lovingly and patting her hand.

Then, Rachel left her hot chocolate on the living room table, took the DVD in one hand and dragged Finn with the other one.

"_We will be more comfortable in my room and you'll be able to sleep if you are tired_." said Rachel, dragging him upstairs.

A lot of things were going on in Finn's mind, but sleeping wasn't one of them. He let her dragged him upstairs, praying he would be able to control himself.

Once in her room, Rachel set the clock at 3 AM. She had to be back to NYC early next morning; she had given her word to Mrs. Simmons and she wanted to keep it. Rachel wanted to be sure to wake on time if she fell asleep, which she doubted as long as she was with Finn; she wanted to take advantage of his presence as much as she could.

After setting her clock, she put the DVD in the lector device. She came back to her bed, took off the quilt from her bed, she took off her shoes and spread herself down on the bed. Then, she invited Finn to lay himself next to her. Without hesitation, he took of his shoes and did as she said.

Then, she waited for him to be rightly settled next to her and pressed her head on his shoulder. Seeing that he wasn't pushing her away, she circled his torso with one arm. She stretched to close the light and pushed play.

After the movie, they both stretched and Finn turned his head to Rachel. She stretched to open the light.

"_It's a beautiful movie Rachel, sad, but beautiful. You'll be perfect in it_." said Finn stretching some more. "_You are playing the Maria role, right_?" asked Finn unsure.

"_Yes! It is a wonderful role to start with and I hope to make my teacher proud. Matt and I are working very hard to make our partnership as real as we can_." said Rachel, turning herself to face Finn.

"_Who's Matt_?" said Finn, frowning.

"_He portrays Tony. He is really good_." said Rachel, wanting to compare her co-start to Jessie St-James, but kept herself to do so, knowing that it could lead to an awkward moment between her and Finn.

"_Do you guys will really kiss and have hot steamy scene on stage_." said Finn, as he rose a little from the bed.

To answer his question, Rachel rose a little from the bed, met Finn and kissed him passionately. He responded to her. Soon she was straddling him and she stopped the kiss, but her face reminded centimetres from his.

"_That was for real Finn_! _On stage, it can look like this, but no one ever made me feel like you do, inside me I mean, and I doubt no one will ever do Finn, through good times and bad times, you are my heart Finn_." said Rachel, caressing his face. "_And if it does look like this on stage, it can only mean one thing; I am imagining you doing It._" she said as she leaned to kiss him again.

They kissed for few more minutes, than Rachel pulled out, out of breath; feeling a little hard something on her waist. It only made her breath heavier. She imaged them having sex and she surprised herself to really want it to happen. She wanted him right here, right now and when Rachel Berry wanted something she was actually getting it.

"_Could I ask your help in another domain Finn_?" she said, slightly licking his lips.

"_Anything_." Finn said, moaning.

"_Make love to me Finn_!" she said kissing him passionately and pushing him harder against the mattress.

"_What_?" asked Finn stunned, stopping kissing her, not sure he had heard right.

"_I want to know what it's like to be loved and I want it to be with you." _Rachel said looking lovingly at him, caressing his cheek. "_I never imagined by first time being with anybody but you, Make_…" said Rachel before being interrupted by Finn.

"_You don't have to plead for it Rachel and you won't have to ask me twice_." said Finn attacking her mouth aggressively. "_I dreamed about this so many times for the past months_." He added between two fierce kisses and taking his shirt off.

They made love.

They kissed each other, aggressively, but still lovingly. After caressing his torso, she reached for his belt and he took his pants off. Then, still wearing his boxers, he undressed her gently, taking time to kiss every ounce of skin he exposed. As he took off her underwear, he kept looking at her with nothing but love in his eyes. She was so beautiful. Then, he took off his boxers quickly and pulled the cover over them. Then, above her, he kissed her gently, kissed her neck, her breast and came back to her face, her lips. Then, he starred at her, touching her hair.

"_I am ready Finn_." she said parting her legs wider to give him more access.

Then, he entered her slowly looking at her face, hopping it wasn't hurting her too painfully. He didn't know what being with a virgin was like. When, he saw she was adjusting, he pushed a little further and moved slowly into her. Finn stopped his movements when he heard few sharp cries.

"_It's okay Finn, I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the pack, but I know it's going to become more pleasurable if you keep going_. " said Rachel sharply.

So, Finn kept going, but he kept hearing the sharp noises and tried to forget them, but he couldn't stop thinking that he was hurting her.

"_I love you Finn_." Rachel finally moaned.

That moaned was all it took to Finn to speed up and finally give in to passion, his and hers.

Rachel hadn't slept that night. After making love 3 times with Finn, the first two times had been really quick, she was fumbling into his sweating spiked hair; she was watching him sleeping.

She was already up and dressing herself up when her clock buzzed. She tried to close it before waking Finn up. Unfortunately, he grabbed her from behind and brought her back to bed. He placed himself above her and kissed her.

"_Good morning baby_." said Finn, yawning. "_Ready for another round_?" he said kissing her again and trying to pull her shirt off.

As much as she wanted to surrender to Finn's request, she couldn't. Furthermore and deeply unwillingly, she had to crush his dreams and hers.

"_I can't Finn, my train is leaving at 5 and I got to be at the train station in less than one hour_." said Rachel, gathering the strength to get out of his grip.

Then, Finn came back to reality. He rose from the bed and put his boxers back on.

"_I thought you would stay a little longer since we..._" said Finn standing almost naked before her.

"_We made love, but it doesn't change the fact that I am going back to NYC_." said Rachel, avoiding his gaze and his body not to break into tears.

"No, _I know you'd go back, but you will come back, won't you_?" said Finn taking her hand.

"_I don't know Finn_." said Rachel, a tears falling from her eyes.

"_But we are a couple now Rachel, we made love_." said Finn, whipping her tears.

"_No, Finn, we can't be one; I am Rachel and you are Finn, but we can't be an Us, at least for now, not when we are so far away from one another_." said Rachel, turning her back on Finn. "_I can't ask you this Finn_." said Rachel, leaving the room and going back downstairs.

Finn took back his clothes and got dressed. Then, he ran downstairs. There, he saw Rachel sitting on the couch, hanging up as she started to cry. He stood in front of her and extended his hand to her. She took it and jumped into his arms.

"A part of me doesn't want to go Finn, but I have to." She said crying even louder. "_You have to let me go_." she added, stepping back from his arms.

"_What do you mean when you say that I have to let you go_?" said Finn, taking her by the shoulders.

"_Live your life even if it means one without me_!" she said sniffing.

"_I can't Rachel and even if I could, I don't want to_! _You are a part of me and you'll remember me all your life; I will never say farewell to you, not forever_. _I am letting you go, but you will come back to me, Rachel Berry, or I'll be the one coming back to you_." said Finn, almost shaking Rachel.

Then, they were interrupted by a car horn. Then, Rachel took a step back.

"_It's my cab, I got to go_." she said to Finn, whipping her tears.

She walked to the door, bringing her bag with her. She put on her coat. Finn imitated her. He took the bag from her hand as she went out of the room.

"_You know I could have given you a ride to the train station_." said Finn gently as he looked at Rachel locking the door of the house.

"_I didn't want to make things harder than they are_." said Rachel, walking to the cab, followed by Finn.

Rachel opened the door of the cab. She took her bag from Finn's hands and put it into the cab. Then, she sat in it and closed the door quickly behind her. She lowered the glass and pulled her head out off the cab. Finn took advantage of her move and lean to kiss her, he kissed her passionately.

"_You can't forget me Rachel and neither can I_;_ it's as simple as that. You are my missing puzzle piece and I am yours, deal with it!_ _I know_ _I am not the sharpest tool around, but I am sure about this_." said Finn as the car's engine started. He finally backed up.

"_I love you Rachel Berry_." screamed Finn, seeing the cab going away, watching his heart leaving for New York.


	26. Falling off a cloud

**Chapter 26**

**Falling off a cloud**

A month after Glee club wins at Regional's and his passionate night of love with Rachel, Finn hadn't received any new from her. He had sent her few letters that had remained unanswered.

He knew that nothing bad had happened to her because, if it had, Rachel's dads would certainly come to him. He wondered if he had done something wrong or maybe he had been too quick during their love making session and it had repulsed her away from him. All Finn wanted was time to explain himself, but he couldn't do it without talking to her. He desperately wanted to know what he had done wrong.

To put his mind elsewhere, he tried to put all his heart in glee, preparing the group for Nationals, in NYC, where he could see Rachel... He worked a lot with Mr. Shuster for song selections.

In the football area, Coach Beast was still benching. He kept trying to help the team even if he wasn't their leader or captain anymore, but his teammates were not very welcoming.

People were still making fun of him behind his back, but everybody had stopped starring at him, laughing had become whispers. He hoped that silence would come eventually.

One day, Kurt arrived in the choir room saying he had a big surprised for them. He took out a cylinder box from his hand bag and removed the rolled paper from it. Kurt unrolled it before their eyes. It was a poster. On that poster, they could see Rachel and a guy, holding each other, looking at each other lovingly. Above them were big white and black letters: WEST SIDE STORY.

"_It is such a great picture_." said Kurt enthusiastically.

"_Yeah, that guy is such a hunk; he must be so good in the sack_." said Santana, taking a look at Finn.

Hearing those words, he realized that he could be a possibility. Maybe she was with him. Obviously, he was good looking, they were sharing a stage, they lived in the same city and Finn was sure that the other guy was more experienced with women than he did.

For the rest of glee practice, he tried to act natural, to do as if nothing was wrong. He waited for the end of the rehearsal and went to the locker room. There, he put on his gym outfit and did some laps. Running, he tried to get rid of the images flowing into his mind, images of Rachel and Matt making out or even having sex.

After one hour running, he came back into the locker room, took a shower and went back to the hallway. Walking toward his locker, he saw Mr. Shuster displaying the poster of WEST SIDE STORY on the school bulletin board. He waited few seconds for his teacher to walk away from it and he got closer to it.

He looked at it carefully. He caressed Rachel's face on the poster. She seemed happy, way more than the last time they had left each other. The night he had spent with Rachel had been a bliss, but maybe it hadn't been the same for her.

"_Seems like Berry found herself a man in NYC_." said Azimio, walking toward Finn.

"_No questions why she stays there_." said Karofsky, smiling. "_I bet he is not as quick as you are, Mr Mailman_." he added, hi-fiving his friend.

Then, Finn couldn't hold himself anymore. Without warning, he punched Karofsky as hard as he could. The bully fell onto the ground. Then, he saw Azimio charging him. He took the bully's head into the abs. After, he saw Karofsky lifting from the ground and coming from behind him, grabbing his arms and holding them in his back. Then, Azimo gave him a few punches: one in the abs, two in face. Finn defended himself by kicking Azimio's face. Then, he got rid of Karofsky and started to punch him repeatedly, eyes injected with rage. He stopped hearing footsteps.

"_Guys, stop this right now_!" said Mr. Shuster, placing himself in between them.

Then, Mr. Shuster took them all to Mr. Figgins office.

The director wasn't happy. He suspended all of them for a week; for fighting on school's grounds. It meant no football for them and no glee for Finn.

Azimio and Karofsky tried to blame it all on Finn; saying that he can't control his temper, that he was the one who had viciously jumped on them. They tried to sound like sweet little victims of a rage attack. Finn didn't say a thing, didn't even try to defend himself.

After his meeting with the principal, Mr Shuster brought his student to the infirmary.

There, Finn told him what had really happened; he told his teacher about the prank, the insults, the attacks and how he saw red and couldn't hold himself down.

He told Mr. Shuster that he was sorry about not being able to make it to glee one whole week, but he certified his teacher that he'd work on song selection on his side and that Kurt could be their middleman.

The nurse healed his wounds quickly and Finn went back to his locker to take his stuff and go home.

When Finn passed near the bulletin board on his way out, he snatched the poster and put it into his bag; that way, no one else could vandalized it.

When he arrived home, he went to his room and displayed the poster on the wall above the head of his bed. Then, he let himself fall onto his bed. God, he didn't know how he would break the news to his parents.

As he had thought, his mother wasn't pleased about his situation, but it calmed down when Finn told her that he would take this free time to study and Kurt immediately agreed to give him a hand. Finn told his mother that he wouldn't have done what he did if they hadn't pushed him to. Carole Hummel knew her son and she knew he wasn't a scum, she believed him, but she grounded him for the week.

Two nights after his suspension, Finn was studying Kurt USA History's notes when he heard knocks coming from his window. At first, he thought he had hallucinated, but he went to his window and saw Puck pressed against his car. Finn looked at his friend who was gesturing him to come downstairs.

"_I can't!_ _I am grounded_." said Finn, opening the window.

"_Come down Hudson. I've got something for you_." said Puck, getting on the driver side of the car.

"_I can't. I can't risk making things worse_." said Finn, trying not to speak too loudly.

"_Come on Finn! Your parents aren't home, we won't be out late; they won't even know you went out_." said Puck, walking toward the house, placing himself under Finn's window.

Then, Puck saw Finn's disappeared from his window and appeared by the front door. He got out of the house.

"_We better make it quick_." said Finn, walking toward Puck.

They both got into the car and Puck drove off.

When Puck parked his car, Finn couldn't believe where his friend had driven them; they were at McKinley High, on school grounds.

"_What, wrong with you_? _You know I am not allowed to be here_." said Finn surprised

"_Come down Hudson, no one will know_." said Puck, taking a bag in the back of his car and getting off it.

Then, he started to walk to the gym outside door where he had come with Rachel so often and where he would initiate Finn's tonight.

Finn followed him silently, but he had a good idea where they were going. He knew he was right when he entered the auditorium doors.

Finn looked at Puck as he went on stage. The bad boy laid down his bag on the floor and pulled out a video camera.

"_You are not going to tie me down and record my humiliation, are you_?" said Finn to Puck unsure.

"_We're way passed this Hudson, Don't worry_!" said Puck, pressing the power button of the camera.

"_What are you planning to do with the camera_?" said Finn, sitting in the front row.

"_No, you come right here Hudson, you are the star, I am the audience_." said Puck, getting off the stage as he showed Finn the way on stage.

"_I use to come here with Rachel during the winter school break almost every night. Every time, she sang to you and it helped her passing through the hard time she was having. I told myself that maybe it could help you. And you can always send it to her as a gift like the DVD she sent to you_." said Puck adjusting the camera and looking at Finn.

"_Why are you doing this for me_?" said Finn sincerely, looking at Puck.

"_I am doing this for you, you and Rachel; it hurts me to say it, but you guys are so made for each other, you only need to stay in each other's life and your epic story will end right_." said Puck, kindly at Finn.

Finn starred at Puck, smiling to him.

"_What should I sing_?" asked Finn, affected.

"_I don't know, I am not in your head; and I certainly don't want to be_." said Puck, slightly laughing. "_Close your eyes and sing what comes first to you mind. It used to work for Rachel."_ added Puck, more seriously.

Then, Finn closed his eyes and found a song.

"_Are you ready_?" asked Puck.

"_I want to say something first_." said Finn to the camera.

"_Action_", said Puck, bringing his camera near his eyes.

Then, Finn looked at the camera and started to talk.

_Rach__, _

_It's been a long time since I last heard from you_. _Just so you know, I have the poster of your play in my room; you are beautiful on it, but you are always beautiful, I am sad I haven't told you more before, maybe you wouldn't have gone miles away if I did. _

_I know I am being selfish saying this, but I am __kind of selfish and I am even more with the song I am about to sing to you. Just know that I love you, through our break up, our reconciliations, our fights, our kisses, our single, but so blissful night together and even now, miles away from another, in different city, in someone else's arms, I love you, so please come home_...

Then, Finn started to sing.

_Hello world  
Hope you're listening  
Forgive me if I'm young  
For speaking out of turn  
There's someone I've been missing  
I think that they could be  
The better half of me  
They're in their own place trying to make it right  
But I'm tired of justifying  
So i say you'll.._

Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
So come home

I get lost in the beauty  
Of everything i see  
The world ain't as half as bad  
As they paint it to be  
If all the sons  
If all the daughters  
Stopped to take it in  
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin  
It might start now..Yeahh  
Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud  
Until then

Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
Ever known  
So come home

Everything i can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why i need you here  
Everything i can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why i need you here  
So hear this now

Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
Ever known  
So come home  
Come home

One hour and a half later, Finn was back into his house where he had sneaked back in without anybody noticing. He went straight to his room. He stripped down to his boxer and shirt. He took a quick look at the poster had pinned onto his wall. He kissed two of his fingers and deposed it on the picture, on Rachel's face. Then, he let himself fall into his bed. Tomorrow, he would mail his tape to Rachel. This way, she would have to see, to witness his love for her and he knew she would understand his feelings and maybe, if he was lucky enough, she would come home sooner than later. Then, he let himself being drawn to sleep where Rachel had come home to see him.

**Song: Come Home by One Republic**


	27. Back to NYC

**Chapter 27**

**Back to NYC**

During her ride back to NYC, Rachel couldn't sleep; she just kept crying. She cried about leaving, cried about Finn, cried because she would have wanted to stay in his arms, to feel him close to her, feeling his mouth on hers, his body on hers, him in her. She shivered thinking about how their bodies had fit perfectly with one another. Hardly, her mind pushed that thought aside. No, she had to think about her career first. No, she couldn't let Finn take her mind off it, she told herself, trying to convince herself that she was doing the right thing, but failing miserably.

She arrived in NYC on time for rehearsal. She even had the time for a quick shower and went to the school's auditorium.

When she arrived, Mrs Simmons and her classmates were already there, waiting for her.

The first half hour, the rehearsal went well, but, soon, Rachel began to look very tired and she started having trouble concentrating herself on the play. So, Mrs Simmons had no other choice but to cancel the rest of the rehearsal.

When everybody left, the teacher walked to Rachel. The older woman told her she looked terrible and that she clearly needed some sleep, sleep she obviously hadn't had last night. Hearing her teacher's last comment, Rachel turned red and her mind flew right back to Finn.

The teacher snapped her fingers in front of Rachel's face, bringing her back to reality. Mrs Simmons ordered Rachel to go back to her dorm and get some sleep. She also recalled her to be there at seven o'clock, at St-Georges restaurant, for their dinner with the school's big investors.

So, Rachel went back to her dorm where she took another shower and let herself fall onto her bed. Lying there, she closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would come and bring her sorrows away.

But, sleep never came. Instead, she kept tossing and turning; her memory kept replaying her the night she had spent with Finn, her heart was reliving it and it hurt Rachel like hell to know that they were miles away from each other at the moment when they had been one the night before.

At six o'clock, Rachel was still lying in her bed awaken. She hadn't slept at all during the whole afternoon. She was worried about being presentable to the investors. Luckily for her, she was a great actress. If she could prevent herself from falling face first in her plate, it would be fine.

The dinner with the investors went well. Mrs Simmons had told her that her main job consisted in smiling, answering questions with as much enthusiasm as she could, what she did it. She knew she was a great actress, but she knew that, once in her room, her mask would crack in thousands of pieces like her heart was broken deep into her chest. She told herself that the only way to pull back the puzzle together was to do what she was here to do and to stop thinking about Him. She tried to convince herself that she could do it. Sure, Rachel Berry was a good actress, but not good enough to lie to herself.

For the next two weeks, Rachel succeeded to keep her head above water. She worked hard on her academic and on the play. We woke up at 6 o'clock every morning, including Saturdays and Sundays, doing her exercises for an hour. She spent all her time studying, going to class, eating lunch like a robot, rehearsing until 8 PM every night, doing her academic assignments. She went to sleep, listening to music, every single night, not to lose herself on Finn's memory.

Her efforts took a solid punch in the face when she received few letters from Finn. In his first letter, he was telling her how much he still cared and loved her. In the second one, he was asking her why she hadn't answer to his first later. Had he done something wrong? He wanted to know if she regretted giving him her virginity. In the third one, he wanted to know if there was someone else.

Finn's letters broke her, but she decided not to write back to him. Doing that, she was trying to convince him that she wasn't coming back, but she wasn't sure to fool him because he knew her, the real her.

Once again, to forget the pain and emptiness her heart were feeling, she dived into work.

At this moment, she was spending all of her time in the auditorium doing rehearsals, often helped by her friend Anna. Some rehearsals went well and others little less. In a group rehearsal, during a touching and private moment between Maria and Tony, she slipped; she said Finn instead of Tony.

When she realized her mistake, Rachel excused herself and asked Mrs Simmons if they could replay the scene.

Instead, the teacher asked the other students to take a short break and walked toward Rachel. Mrs Simmons faced her student.

"_What is wrong with you Ms Berry_?" said the teaching glared at her.

"_There's nothing wrong with me Mrs Simmons_. _I must be a little tired that's all_,_ nothing I can't work on_." said Rachel, looking at her teacher trying to smile as widely as she could.

"_You don't have the right to be tired young lady_. _You have to be ready and concentrated_, _to stay focus on the task ahead and nothing more, do you hear me Ms Berry_." said her teacher, almost screaming.

Rachel tried to speak, but her teacher interrupted her before she could say another word.

"_You have the lead you wanted so desperately_. _Here, you got the life you always wanted to have and you consider leaving it all up for a boy you met when you were a kid_. _Do you really want to say goodbye to this?_" said Mrs Simmons, trying to regain her composure.

"_Don't waste you talent Ms Berry. I see great thinks for you, but you've got to give it all to what you really want. You moved miles away from your home; make it count for something and live the dream out loud_." said her teacher, taking Rachel's should and hugging her briefly. Then, she stepped back.

The second part of the rehearsal went wonderfully, but a surprised waited for her on her bed.

She had received a package from Lima Ohio. She really hoped it was from Kurt. Looking at it, she had an idea of what it was, since she had sent one almost identical to Finn a month ago.

Her heart started to beat madly when she recognized Finn's handwriting. At that moment, she pried it wasn't what she thought it was. However, she had guessed right. She had just received a tape from Finn. She was reluctant to listen to it because she knew it contained a powerful love song and she wasn't sure she was strong enough to hear it.

Not listening to her head, her hands took the DVD and she couldn't stop her legs from running to the school library where she could listen to Finn's gift.

Once in the library, she sat in front of a computer and put the DVD in it. Then, her good old Finn appeared to her. He was looking at the camera and he started to talk.

Rachel couldn't stop sobbing listening to his words and when he started to sing, she could have drowned in her own tears.

At the end of his song, when Finn disappeared from the screen, a part of her was angry at him, wondering how he could do that to her, trying to crush her dreams with his so tempting and tender love.

She sincerely wanted to send him a note, but regained her composure. Her mind was telling her not to sink into pure emotion, but to take time to think before doing something she could regret.

The day after seeing Finn's performance, she returned to her old habits, she became an even bigger workaholic that she was before.

She was spending her whole days rehearsing, singing, dancing, sometimes not even taking time to eat. She slept little because she was afraid to dream about Finn; her heart getting scratched with every dream she was dreaming.

She reached the bottom of the barrel during a rehearsal, 4 days later. Exhausted, she lost conscience during a singing number.

She came back to her and one of her classmate brought her up. After the little incident, Mrs Simmons asked them to rehearse Maria and Tony's encounter scene. Matt was portraying Tony in his dress suit, but Rachel saw a tall fellow passing her with a pack of cola's bottles. Rachel rubbed her eyes, she couldn't believe it; it was Finn. She walked to see him and stood in his path, but he passed through her like she was a ghost. Then, Matt came to her, took her by the hand and started to sing, while Rachel was still trying to get Finn's attention, making gesture, screaming at him, but he never looked at her. Then, she freed herself from Matt's grip and run to Finn who was now leaving. She waved to him, asking him to wait for her. Then, she saw her hand, it had changed, it was wrinkled and ring less and Finn was already gone.

"_Come back to me_". Rachel whispered, breathing hardly.

Then, she opened her eyes. Rachel was still lying on the floor, Mrs Simmons and her teammates were all around her. Mrs Simmons was whipping her forehead with a towel.

After the commotion, Mrs Simmons cancelled the rehearsal and signed a paper to Rachel telling Mr Hatwood, her academic teacher, she would miss his class for a day or two. However, Rachel insisted to remain on stage, but Mrs Simmons was stubborn and didn't give a chance to her student. So, Rachel walked toward the exit of the auditorium slowly, but turned her head when her teacher spoke to her.

"_Go home and everything will be alright_!" said Mrs Simmons, looking at her paper.


	28. Home is where the heart is

**Chapter 28**

**Home is where the heart is.**

Rachel went back to her dorm, but one word kept buzzing into her head: HOME.

Mrs Simmons had told her _to go home and everything will be alright_. Rachel knew where her home was, but she didn't know if she should go back yet. She had a new life in New York, build with dreams, rehearsals, a perfect play, a lead role and a new found stardom; she was recognized in NYC, others were worshiping her talent and she had never been slushied in NYC. However, she knew that New York never was her home and could never be by itself. At this very moment, Rachel saw clearly: Home was where her Heart was.

She hoped that, someday, the big Apple would give her another chance to shine, but her home was somewhere else, her belonged to someone else.

As much as NYC was seductive with its millions of lights, beautiful people, its fame and Broadway Avenue, the city was fake's wisdom; she couldn't resort to be only a pale copy of herself. However, in Lima Ohio, she was Rachel Berry, not yet the person she wanted to be, but where she could grow, learn and share her life with real people, real friends and real love.

Her decision taken, Rachel slept for hours. When she woke up, she was sad because she hadn't seen Finn through her dreams, but she smiled thinking that, if everything was going according to her plan, she was going to be in his arms, in less than two weeks, for Nationals.

Rachel decided to take advantage of her day off. First, she called her dads to tell them to stop searching for a house buyer and for a new house in NYC. Her dads didn't know what to say when she announced them that she was coming back in Ohio. They asked her, many times, if she was sure about her decision, warning her that her decision could have big repercussions on her live and dreams. At one point, they even asked her to reconsider her decision, but Rachel didn't budge; she told them she would come back home at the end of the semester or before, if she could. They finally agreed with her decision and told her they'd wait for her call if she needed anything. She thanked them for their comprehension and hung up.

Secondly, she called at McKinley High to speak to principal Figgins. She asked him if there was a possibility for her to rejoin McKinley High before the end of the semester.

At first, Mr Figgins told her she could only come back next year. Then, Rachel told him how her re-addition to New Directions could be a winning benefit for Nationals this year, making great publicity for the school. She even added that she had heard there would be a budget increased for the winning school.

Hearing her last words, Principal Figgins told her to stay online for few minute. When he came back on the phone, he told her that her presence in New Directions would be legit at Nationals if transfer's papers were signed and dated before Nationals day and if she did her exams in McKinley High. Rachel thanked her soon-to-be principal and told him that her dads would contact him the same day to legitimate her transfer back to Lima. She told him she needed to stay a week longer. Principal Figgins accepted it and he replied that she would officially be a McKinley High student on May 24th, the day before National. He added that he also needed her file to do it. She asked for their fax number and told him that she would get it this day and had it sent to him. He gave it to her and welcomed her back to McKinley's big family. She thanked him and hung up happily. She hoped the rest of her plan would work out well.

Third, she went to the school director's office. He wasn't there at the moment and his secretary didn't know when he would be back. Determined, Rachel decided to wait. She had been waiting for 2 and a half hour when he finally arrived. He hadn't really seen her, but she apostrophized him, asking if she could see him. The school director reluctantly agreed to see her without enthusiasm. She told him that she was transferring back to her old school in a week and that she needed her file. Before he could reply anything, Rachel continued to speak, telling him she had rights, that the procedure was legal and that her dads wanted her back home.

The director kept starring at her. His face stayed emotionless. He answered her that she could go fairly, but her dads would have to pay a five hundred dollars penalty for break of contract. She answered the director that money wasn't an issue. So, he granted her request to her. The director called her secretary. He ordered her to make copies of Rachel's files and asked her to send it to McKinley High school in Lima Ohio. Rachel rose from her chair and extended her hand to the director who took it slightly and barely shook it.

Next, she went to sit on a bench nearby the director's office. There, she called her dads. She asked them to call Mr. Figgins to confirm her transfer back to McKinley High and she also mentioned the penalty for leaving earlier than expected. She offered them to take it into her trust fund, but they refused; they told her that it would be their welcome home gift. She hung up smiling, but her smile disappear when she thought about her final task and hardest; telling Mrs Simmons that her Maria was going home.

Even if Mrs Simmons had cancelled today's rehearsal the day before, Rachel knew she could find her teacher in the auditorium.

Mrs Simmons was sitting at her desk located at the left side of the stage.

Rachel walked slowly to her and accelerated mid way.

When she heard footsteps, Mrs Simmons lifted her head.

"_I told you to get some sleep Ms Berry_." said the teacher, bringing her nose back on her papers.

"_I thought about what you told me, about home_." said Rachel, shakily. "_I am going home Mrs Simmons_." added Rachel, even more shakily.

"_You'll be going home for the summer like everyone else, Ms Berry_." said her teacher, concentrated herself on her work and not looking at her student.

"_No. I am going home now, I one week actually. I quit the play. That's why I am here_!" said Rachel, looking at floor, afraid to lift her eyes.

"_You are home Ms Berry, the stage is your home, don't ruined that for some childish illusions_." said her teacher, taking her glasses off, starring at Rachel.

"_I am tired to play. Don't you see that acting, faking, is exhausting me?_" said Rachel, looking at her teacher. "_If I was where I belong, this very instant, it wouldn't cost me so much to stand here_." added Rachel, speaking frankly.

"_You are not who I thought you were Ms Berry, you are not strong enough_." said her teacher looking at her angrily.

"_You don't know me Mrs Simmons, so how could you say who I am and what I am not_." said Rachel almost shouting. "_I am strong enough. I've been strong enough to fight for my dreams, to fight my emotions, to come here to face preppy New Yorkers and their factice faces, to try my best and, now, I am strong enough to go back where I belonged_." Rachel said shouting.

Mrs Simmons looked at her speechless.

"_This is the real me and I am going to my real life_." said Rachel, calmer.

Mrs Simmons walked to her. For a minute, Rachel prepared herself for a slap, but she got a hug instead.

"_We are going to miss you Rachel Berry_." her teacher said, holding her close.

"_Since I am leaving, I have a gift for you_." said Rachel stepping back.

"A_ gift for me_." asked her teacher surprised.

"_Not directly, but it's a gift for the play_." said Rachel smiling. "_You need a new Maria and since I'll be long gone by the time of the premiere. I found my replacement; Anna_." said Rachel, smiling to her teacher.

"_Anna_?" said her teacher stunned.

"_Yes. She is been great and she has helped me a lot during my late night rehearsals, she knows the play as well as I do_!" said Rachel, enthusiastically. "_Put a brown wig on her blond hair and nobody will notice it isn't me_!" said Rachel, putting her hand on her waist. "_I am still here for a week; I will work day and night if it is necessary, practicing, taking care of the posters. I won't let the play down; I won't let you down_." added Rachel, beginning to cry.

"_This is no goodbye Ms Berry; our paths will meet again; I am never wrong_." said Mrs Simmons taking her back into her arms. They part after few seconds.

Mrs Simmons told Rachel to get some rest, but to come back in shape the very next day because they were going to work really hard during the next week. Rachel promised her teacher to be best little soldier ever and left the auditorium.

Once in her dorm, she put on her pyjama and jumped into bed. She fell asleep smiling; she was going home.

The day after, Mrs Simmons told the troop there was a major change concerning Maria's part. The teacher told them that Rachel was leaving in a week, abandoning her role. Then, everybody stared at Rachel as if she was an alien lost in space. Then, Mrs Simmons announced her decision to take Anna as Rachel's successor. The blonde haired girl couldn't believe her ears. She looked at Rachel who was looking at her, smiling, tears in her eyes. Anna walked to Mrs Simmons and told her that she was going to make her proud. Next, she jumped into Rachel's arms.

Rachel helped them as much as she could to get ready for the premiere. She knew they would make it.

The day after, she called at McKinley High to speak to Mr. Shuster. He was surprised to hear her voice. A bit worried, he asked her if everything as alright. Then, Rachel broke the new and asked him if she could perform with them at Nationals. Mr. Shuster reminded silent. Rachel even thought he had hung up. He came back to his senses nearly a minute after, asking her if she was kidding. She answered that she would never joke about show choir. Mr. Shuster laughed at her last comment, recognizing the good old Rachel Berry.

Mr. Shuster welcomed her back greatly and told her that he would be more than thrilled to welcome her back in New Directions.

Rachel told him that they could meet on their arrival day in NYC and they could have a special rehearsal before the competition.

Mrs Shuster told her that they will arrive in New York on competition day, but he offered her something else. He offered her to send her the set list and rehearsal's video. That way, she would be able to practice by herself. Septic, she asked Mr. Shuster if he was sure about it because she didn't want to be the cause of them losing due to lack of unity. He reassured her not to worry about it, because, to him, the signing part was the most important. He even told her that he was going to change the set list. Now, the first number would be a mix up, sang by her and Finn. The songs would be perfect for them; he even told her that if they'd sing it as emotionally as he knew they could, they could easily steal the show. Chills were dancing on his arms as he spoke and imagined their heartfelt performance.

They finally agreed to meet at the Schubert Theatre where the competition was held about an hour before the show and hung up.

After hanging up with Mr. Shuster, she called Kurt to tell him about the new. She asked him to keep her return a secret. She also asked him if he could meet her in her school to help her with her suitcases. First, he told her that he didn't know if he could keep a secret as big as this one, but he would try and, secondly, that he would be there to pick her up the day of National's.

Furthermore, she asked him about the set list that Mr. Shuster had chosen. He told her about the songs; they were three good songs, one slow, the ballad, and two upbeat tempo song. Rachel told Kurt that Mr. Shuster was going to change the first song. Kurt wanted to know more about it so Rachel told him about the mix up idea, but informed him that she didn't know what song she would sing with Finn yet. Kurt was really enthusiast about Rachel's change of heart and her coming back home, but he knew that one person would be more thrilled than he was and he couldn't wait to see Finn's mouth dropped and heart melted when he was going to see her; sparks will fly on may 25th and the couldn't wait to witness the fireworks…


	29. National's

**Chapter 29**

**National's**

After his week of suspension, Finn was more than glad to come back to Glee. He even went back to football practice, under Puck's surveillance.

During his first glee club rehearsal, Finn found out that Mr. Shuster had changed the set list during his absence; first, he would do a mix up with Mercedes. He loved the songs their teacher had chosen. He couldn't stop thinking how those songs would have been perfect for Rachel and him.

During the next weeks, he rehearsed with Mercedes who wasn't putting much effort in it to. They practiced the choreography for the second song and his drum part on the last one. He concentrated on the task ahead and the time past quickly and, soon, they were moments away from National's.

One day after her conversation with Mr. Shuster, Rachel received the tape from New Direction's rehearsal and some details from Kurt. Her ex-teacher sent her the lyrics and melody of the mix up; Rachel was pretty happy about it, the songs were perfect for them; telling exactly what she wanted to tell Finn. She had a little choreography to learn for the second song, but nothing too difficult and, for the last number, she was going to play percussion, tambourine, with Finn. Finn... She couldn't wait to see him...

On May 25th, Rachel woke up smiling; she couldn't stop, seeing her old\new life rising before her through the window.

First, she took a shower and prepared herself for the beautiful day ahead of her; she hoped that Finn would love the surprise and that his offer of comforting her was still on.

Then, a little bit more sadly, she finished packing her stuff. Once her suitcases ready, she said goodbye to her tiny room, but the feeling disappeared quickly as she imagined her home and heart waiting for her, reachable.

She left her dorm and went to school; she entered it for the last time. There, she went to the auditorium to say goodbye to the stage. She went on stage slowly. Once on it, she closed her eyes. Breathing the room's air, she remembered the good times she has spent on this stage, her success, her less great moments; she would take it all with her home, in her heart and mind. Opening her eyes back, she couldn't help but smile thinking that she would soon be home...

Then, she went out the room, almost jumping, and got out of NYC Art, Scene Academy for the last time. Outside, she waited for Kurt.

Few streets away, twelfth students and a teacher arrived at the Schubert theatre all dressed in green, white and black.

Once they were all in the theatre, Kurt excused himself and left his teacher and teammates in the green room. The boy went out of the theatre and hailed a taxi. He asked the driver to drive him to NYC Scene Art Academy.

The cab stopped in front of a big building. Kurt told the driver to wait for him and got out of the cab. The boy took a look at the school, impressed its size, style and beauty of the place and surroundings. He really thought it was paradise.

"_How could she want to live this place, it's so?_" said Kurt a little bit too loud, not knowing that Rachel was steps away from him.

"_Magnificent, big, artful, everything I had ever wanted! Yes, it is, but, this magnificent place isn't for me, not yet at least_." said Rachel, walking closer to Kurt and hugged him closely.

They stepped back few seconds later, both smiling.

Seeing her suitcases, Kurt helped Rachel putting them into the cab and they got in. Next, Kurt told the driver to go back to the Schubert theatre.

During their way back to the theatre, Kurt told her that he had helped Mr Shuster with the costume duty. Proud of himself, he also told her that he had succeeded in keeping his tong to Finn about her and that he couldn't wait to see his brother's face when he was going to see her, but Rachel was a little bit less enthusiastic. After the silence treatment she had put Finn through, she hopped he would welcomed her opened arm.

When the cab stopped, Rachel and Kurt got off it and went to get Rachel's suitcases. She paid the driver and watched the cab going away. Then, she turned herself to face the theatre. She stayed still for few seconds before the entrance. Then, Kurt took her hand and dragged her into the building.

Once inside, Kurt told her to wait for him and left her in the middle of the room. Rachel stood motionless and saw a lot of people she didn't know, restless people running in every corner of room.

Then, Kurt came back and dragged her into the green room, tugging on the suitcases, but Rachel put the breaks.

"_Don't worry_! _There is nobody there! They are all in the auditorium, preparing themselves; we perform first_." said Kurt, stepping into New Directions green room.

Kurt put the suitcases in one corner of a room and gave Rachel her dress.

"_And I am bringing Finn here in 10 minutes, so be ready_." Kurt added before leaving the room running.

Rachel shivered thinking that she would see him soon. She put on her dress and brushed her hair looking in the mirror of the green room. She brushed her hair again and again, waiting for the boy she loved to put a stop to her frantic beating heart.

"_Mercedes, Kurt told me you wanted to rehearse on more time before the_..." Finn said as he entered into the room, but he didn't finish his sentence.

His mouth dropped open when he saw the girl who was looking at herself in the mirror in the right corner of the room.

"_Hi Finn_." said Rachel shyly when she saw him entering the room.

She turned herself to face him. Seeing that he remained silence, she walked toward him, but Finn remained emotionless. She went closer to him and put her arms around him, but he took a step back.

"_I am so sorry Finn, sorry about not writing back, about leaving you so soon after our night together, I never should have ran like I did, but I was so scare to miss out on my dream, that I actually did_." Rachel said, tears falling from her eyes. "_Now I know Finn, you are my life and I love you, you are my heart and soul, I'll never leave you again, ever_..." said Rachel, putting her arms around her once more.

"_Am I dreaming; I must be dreaming, right, because only in a dream, you would say something like that, only in a dream you would_..." Finn said, holding onto her tightly, but was interrupted by Rachel's fierce kiss.

They kissed for few seconds and parted for air.

"_Your dress_? _Does it mean you are singing with us_? _How is it possible_?" asked Finn, getting back to reality, taking few steps back.

"_Since yesterday, I am back being a student of McKinley High and back into glee club if you guys want me_!" said Rachel, smiling at Finn.

In only response, Finn took her back into his arms and held her tightly.

"_I am going back home with you guys tomorrow and I'll be taking my exams at McKinley High. Everything is settled with principal Figgins_." said Rachel joyfully. "_I hope you can forgive me for not telling you_. _I wanted to keep it a surprise_." She added, looking at Finn with a pity face.

"_Everybody knew about this_?" said Finn, looking at her, question marks in his eyes.

"_I first asked Mr. Shuster if I could come back to glee and Kurt knew, but I am sure that few people learned it_!" said Rachel patting his back. "_I hope you like the surprise_!" said Rachel hugging him tightly.

"_Best surprise ever_!" Finn said, leaning to kiss her.

They were interrupted by Mr Shuster getting into the room.

"_Sorry to interrupt your reunion guys, but the show starts with you guys._ _You are awaited on stage in five minutes_. _I am going in the audience, break a leg you two_." said Mr. Shuster getting out of the room.

Finn looked at Rachel.

"_I hope you are not too disappointed to sing the mix up with me instead of Mercedes_." said Rachel looking at Finn.

"_Are you kidding me? I wouldn't want to sing those songs with anyone, but you; glee is not the same without you, I am not the same without you, Rach_." Finn said, leaning back to kiss her.

They were still holding each other when the lights flashed.

They started to run to get on stage. Seeing Finn and Rachel running in their direction, the other glee club members stopped talking and welcomed them with enthusiasm. They all smiled seeing the two love birds holding hands and smiling. They wished them luck then left the stage, leaving Rachel and Finn on stage, curtain still down.

Finn placed himself on the right side of the stage and Rachel on the left one.

The darkness remained for few seconds and a light appeared onto Finn who started to sing acapella

_**Finn**__:_

_You should've been gone  
Knowing how I made you feel  
And I should've been gone  
After all your words of steel  
_

Then, music started.

_Oh I must've been a dreamer  
And I must've been someone else  
And we should've been over__Berry, our love  
Holds on, holds on  
Oh Berry, our love  
Holds on, holds on  
_

Oh

Then, the spot closed on Finn and opened on Rachel, sitting on the floor_._

**Rachel:**

_Lying beside you here in the dark  
Feeling your heart beat with mine  
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere  
How could our love be so blind?  
_

Rachel stood up and looked in Finn's direction.

_We sailed on together  
We drifted apart  
And here you are by my side  
_

_So now I come to you with open arms  
Nothing to hide, believe what I say  
So here I am with open arms  
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me, open arms  
_

The light stayed on Rachel put opened on Finn_._

**Finn:**

_But I want to let go  
You'll go on hurtin' me  
You'd be better off alone  
If I'm not who you thought I'd be__Oh Berry, our love  
Holds on, holds on  
Oh Berry, our love  
Holds on, holds on  
_

But you know that there's a fever  
Oh that you'll never find nowhere else  
Can't you feel it burnin' on and on

**Rachel:**

_Living without you, living alone  
This empty house seems so cold  
Wanting to hold you, wantin__g you near  
How much I wanted to be home  
_

**Finn:**_  
But now that you've come back  
Turned night into day  
I need you to stay  
_

**Rachel:**

_But I should've been gone  
Long ago, far away  
And you should've been gone  
Now I know ju__st why you stay_**Finn:**

_Oh Berry, our love  
Holds on, holds on  
Oh Berry, our love  
Holds on, holds on  
_

**Both**_:  
So now I come to you with open arms  
Nothing to hide, believe what I say  
So here I am with open arms  
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me, open arms_

Then, Rachel met Finn in the middle of the room. They kissed briefly and parted under applauses.

Then, the curtain rose on the rest of New Directions.

**K****urt**_:_

_Like a warrior that fights  
And wins the battle  
I know the taste of victory  
Though I went through some nights  
Consumed by the shadows  
I was crippled emotionally  
_

_**B**__**laine**__:_

_Somehow I made it through the heartache  
Yes I did, I escaped  
I found my way out of the darkness,  
Kept my faith (I know you did__ - Kurt)  
Kept my faith  
_

_**Both**__:  
When the river was deep I didn't falter  
When the mountain was high I still believed  
When the valley was low it didn't stop me, no no  
I knew you were waiting  
I knew you were waiting for me_**Kurt:**

_With and endless desire I kept on searching  
Sure in time our eyes would meet  
Like the bridge is on fire  
The hurt is over, one touch and you set me free  
_

_**Blaine**__:_

_No, I don't regret a single moment  
No I don't looking back  
When I think of all those disappointments  
I just laugh (I know you do), I just laugh  
_

**Both**_:  
When the river was deep I didn't falter  
When the mountain was high I still believed  
When the valley was low iIt didn't stop me, no no  
I knew you were waiting  
I knew you were waiting for me_

So we were drawn together through destiny  
I know this love we share was meant to be  
I knew you were waiting, knew you were waiting  
I knew you were waiting, knew you were waiting for me

Then, everybody stopped dancing and instruments were brought on stage. Finn took place behind the drum and Rachel stood next him a tambourine in hand.

Puck came on stage with his guitar and started playing. Then, Brittany and Santana took place in the middle of the stage and started to sing.

**Santana**:

_Right, right turn off the lights  
We gonna lose our minds tonight  
What's the dealio?_

I love it when it's all too much  
5am turn the radio up  
Where's the rock and roll?

Party crasher  
Panty snatcher  
Call me up if you a gangsta  
Don't be fancy  
Just get dancey  
Why so serious?

**New Directions**_:  
So raise your glass  
If you are wrong in all the right ways  
All my underdogs  
We will never be, never be  
Anything but loud  
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks  
Won't you come on and come on  
And raise your glass  
Just come on and come on  
And raise your glass  
_

**Brittany:**_  
Slam, slam oh hot damn  
What part of party don't you understand?  
Wish you just freak out  
(Freak out already)_**Santana and Brittany:**

Can't stop comin' in hot  
I should be locked up right on the spot  
It's so on right now  
(It's so freaking' on right now)

Party crasher  
Panty snatcher  
Call me up if you a gangsta  
Don't be fancy  
Just get dancey  
Why so serious?

_So if you're too school for cool  
(I mean) And you're treated like a fool  
(Treated like a fool)  
You could choose to let it go  
We can always, we can always  
Party on our own_**New Directions**_:_

_So raise your glass  
If you are wrong in all the right ways  
All my underdogs  
We will never be, never be  
Anything but loud  
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks  
(So raise your)  
So raise your glass  
If you are wrong in all the right ways  
All my underdogs  
We will never be, never be  
Anything but loud  
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks  
Won't you come on and come on  
And raise your glass  
Just come on and come on  
And raise your glass  
Won't you come on and come on  
And raise your glass  
(For me)  
Just come on and come on  
And raise your glass_

Then, the curtain fell on New Directions bowing before a loud clapping audience.

Then, the students ran into the green room. They all congratulated one another. They all went to the audience to listen to their competition; million of voices and unicmelody.

During the performances, Finn and Rachel couldn't stop starring at each other, hands in hands. Rachel listened to the performance head pressed on Finn's shoulder. He kissed her head every five minutes and squeezed her hand every two minutes to be sure he wasn't dreaming.

Once the performances were over, all the groups were asked to go on stage for the results. Then, the head judge came on stage and congratulated all the teams for the effort, but that, unfortunately, only one team could win. Then, he named the group who finished third: unicmelody. The teacher and the students claimed there prince a bit disappointed. Then, he announced the first price and the winning team: Millions of voices.

The group cheered and came to get their giant trophy; leaving McKinley High glee club a bit pissed and disappointed, everyone except two over smiling love birds, holding each other by the waist. For them, it was the brightest day; they had won more than a simple competition, they had won each others back, their missing puzzle piece…

The audience was getting out the room, the glee clubs were parting when Rachel saw two faced she recognized easily. Not letting go off Finn's hands, she almost ran to a blonde haired girl and a white haired woman. Letting of Finn's hand, she jumped into Anna's arms. Her friend held her close for few seconds. Then, she turned herself to face Mrs Simmons who took her into her arms. The older woman patted her ex student back.

"_I am very proud of you Ms Berry; your best performance yet_." said Mrs Simmons, stepping back. "_The purest, I should say_." her ex teacher added, looking slightly at the tall boy next to Rachel.

"_Thank you, Mrs Simmons_." she replied to her ex teacher. "_I didn't know you would come_." said Rachel, smiling at them.

"_I wouldn't have missed it for the world and I wanted to see what you were leaving us for_. _I wanted to assure myself the he was worth it._" said Anna, glancing at Finn.

Hearing the other girl's comment, Finn's face turned red.

"_And, after seeing the two of you performed together, I know you are leaving us for a better world_." Anna said, extending her hand to Finn. The tall boy shook it.

They talked a little. Rachel introduced them to Finn. The two New Yorkers told the couple how they had loved their group performance, but were surprised about their unconventional song choices and use of the pairings.

"_That's part why I go home_. _Here, everybody is trying to fit into a mold. I love my individuality and my friend's individuality too. Kurt and Blaine are happily gay, signing on stage for the world to know. Santana is a bitch, an evil one, but she is fully assuming it; everybody in glee club is assuming themselves and that is why they are so special to me_!" said Rachel smiling widely to the two New Yorkers, squeezing Finn's hand.

"_Either way, we are going to miss you_!" said Anna, taking Rachel back into her arms.

Anna took a few steps back. Then, Mrs Simmons walked closer to Rachel and held her. She took a step back few seconds later.

"_You are going_?" said Rachel, feeling tears coming to her eyes.

"_We have to. Our star ditched us for love and friendship, not that I blame her, but we have to work_." said Anna, laughing a little. "_But, before you go, here's to you two_." added Anna, giving two tickets to Rachel. "_We'll be honoured to see you two at the premiere_." said Anna smiling to Rachel.

Rachel took the tickets from Anna's hand and jumped into her arms. When she stepped back, tears were falling down her face. She walked to her ex teacher and took her into her arms.

"_Thank you for the great opportunity Mrs. Simmons. It was a pleasure to meet and to work with you_." said Rachel stepping back, still crying.

"_We'll see each other again, Ms Berry_." Her teacher replied, walking away from the young couple. "_I am never wrong, young lady_." said screaming as she walked to the door.

Then, she faced Finn. He took her into his arms and caressed her back.

"_Are you sure about coming back to Lima_?" asked Finn, still holding Rachel.

"_I am going to miss _few_ things from here and I could stay here Finn, but only if you stayed with me, only this way, I could feel home_." said Rachel hugging Finn tightly.

Then, they looked at each other and Finn leaned to kiss Rachel.

"_I love you Rachel Berry_." said Finn, as their lips parted.

"_I surely hope so_." said Rachel smiling."_Because I love you to M. Finn Hudson_." added Rachel, laughing.

In only response, Finn leaned back and kissed her, lifting her from the ground.

They stopped kissing when they noticed the other glee club members were surrounding them. Hearing them whispering, they stepped back from each other.

"_Guys, I suggest we go back to the motel and enjoy your one night in New York, but, remember, we're all meeting at 10 am tomorrow, our train is leaving for Lima at noon_." said Mr. Shuster, inviting them to follow him out of the room.

Then, Mr. Shuster left the room and his students followed him. Finn and Rachel closed the walk, still holding hands.

Rachel went back to the green room to get her suitcases helped by Finn. Holding it, they got into the bus and were driven to the motel.

In the bus, sitting next to one another, Finn and Rachel couldn't stop smiling thinking about the day they just had, not knowing that things would get even better and warmer on their night in New York...

**Songs:**

**Oh Sherry and Open amrs by Journey**

**I knew you were waiting for me by George Michael and Aretha Franklin**

**Raise your glass by Pink**

_**Only one chapter left guys... I'll have it posted by Saturday night or Sunday Morning... **_


	30. Harmony

**Chapter 30**

**Harmony**

Half an hour later, they arrived at the motel. There, Mr. Shuster split girls and guys into groups. Then, for the first time since they had been reunited, Rachel and Finn had to part from another, reluctantly letting go of each other's hand. Finn left with Puck and Rachel with Kurt. Everybody went to their room to freshen up and to get ready for their night in New York because, earlier, Mr. Shuster had told them that, by day, they would dance and sing, but that the night was their; they all really wanted to take advantage of it.

Kurt helped Rachel to bring her suitcases in their room. Exhausted from their day full of emotions, they both let themselves fall on their bed. Their rest was interrupted by three little knocks on the door.

Hearing the knocks, they both rose from their bed at the same time.

"_It must be your prince charming, Milady_." said Kurt, happily, letting himself falling back on his bed.

Rachel quickly rose from hers and ran to the door. She opened it. Her contagious smile disappeared when she saw Puck behind it.

"_I see you're happy to see me_!" said Puck ironically. "_Maybe I should take my offer with me and go back in hell with it_!" said Puck as he faked leaving.

"_I am sorry Noah, I assumed it was Finn; I was kind of waiting for him_._ I am always happy to see you_." Rachel said, hugging her friend.

Puck stepped back from Rachel's arms, a cocky smile on his face.

"_What's your offer Noah?_" added Rachel curiously, wondering what her friend's mind had been up to.

"_Yeah, what evil plan did your devious mind cooked Puckeman_?" said Kurt who had stood up and had walked toward Rachel.

"_Our room is too small for Hudson and I and I told myself that you guy could benefit the lack of space to get in sync, if you know what I mean_." said Puck suggestively crossing all his fingers together. "_You should stop waiting for little Hudson and take the mattress into your own hands, sorry matters_." said Puck, laughing.

"_Are you implying we should switch room, Noah_? _What about Mr. Shuster_?" said Rachel, half smiling at the thought that she could spend the night with the boy she loved and deceived that it wasn't allowed to happen.

"_I don't plan on staying here tonight. It is New York baby, one hell of a night to remember and I intent to make the most of it_." said Puck smiling. "_I can cover for you guys and say that you both came with me on my partying tout, if Kurt can hold his tong_." added Puck, arms crossed on his chest and looking at Kurt.

"_Don't look at me, I am in_." said Kurt making a step back. "_But, I do have a special request; if you guys "sing" don't "sing" too loud_. _Finn's room is next door and I don't want by ears to bleed_." added Kurt, mimicking parentheses with his finger when he said the word sing.

Hearing her friend allegations, Rachel blushed.

Then, she went to Noah and hugged him.

"_I have another tip for you; you should go and surprise him Berry_." Puck said, giving her the second key of his and Finn's room. "_I bet he's going to be manly thrilled and exited about it._" said Puck winking.

Rachel took the key and thanked her friend. Then, Puck left and Rachel closed the door behind her. Quickly, she went to her suitcase to see which pyjama she could wear for the occasion. Seeing her turning her suitcase upside down, Kurt came to see her.

"_It's all about the gift and not necessary the wrapping, Rachel_." said Kurt looking into her friend suitcase.

Kurt found a silk white pyjama in Rachel's suitcase. He told her to wear it and to choose her sexiest underwear, so she could be prepare if they "_sang_" together.

Rachel took her pyjama, underwear and went into the bathroom to put them on. She had an idea while she was brushing her hair. She had to replicate the night they had spent together; secretly hoping it would end the same way.

She left the bathroom few minutes later. She went to her suitcase and took a DVD from it; Évita. Then, she took the key she had left on the bedside table. She said goodnight to Kurt and went to Finn's room, hopping that he was going to be exited to see her. Little did she know that her choice of word wasn't long or hard enough to describe it!

Getting out of a hot shower and passing a towel on his waist, Finn couldn't stop thinking about Rachel. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was, how happy he was feeling around her, how blissful her voice was, how much she smelled good, how much her hands were so soft against his, how good she tasted, how close they had gotten during this day. He hoped that this sudden and warm closeness wouldn't end there; he needed to hear, to see her, to smell her, to touch her, to taste her all night.

Lost in his mind and getting harder with every thought he was having about Rachel, he didn't hear the knocks on the room's door.

Drying his hair with a towel, he heard few weak noises from the room. Then, he stopped moving and listened carefully; the noises were mattress squeaks.

"_Don't tell me you brought a girl here, Puck, you know we…_" screamed Finn stepping into the room, but stop talking when he saw Rachel sitting on one of the twin bed.

"_Surprise_!" said Rachel, showing Finn the key that Puck had given her.

Hearing and seeing her, Finn lost track of time, his way with word, his common sense and his towel; showing Rachel his already swollen and erected pole business.

When the cotton fell off Finn's waist, Rachel dropped her DVD she was holding.

Embarrassed, Finn bent over and took the white material back into his hands and covered himself with it, but Rachel grabbed it and pulled it off.

She stayed there in front of him and kept looking at him, all of him.

"_Do I really make you feel like this_?" she said approaching her hand from his waist.

"_Stay where you are Rach or I am going to blow_." Finn said, stepping back before she could touch him.

"_I'll take that as a yes_." she said walking closer to him in spite of Finn's warning, eyes full of lust.

She backed him until he fell on the bed.

Then, she grabbed her pyjama top and tore it up. She also took off her pants.

Finn couldn't stop looking at her, mesmerized, close to eruption.

Then, Rachel pushed him onto the bed and straddled him. She put her hands in her back and undid her bra.

Seeing her free breast and wanting to touch them, Finn had trouble concentrating on "the mailman" and when she brought his sweaty and shaky hands onto them, he couldn't take it anymore and he came onto her belly.

"_I am so sorry Rachel_." He said, getting his hands off her.

Then, he gently pushed her off him and sat on the edge of the bed. He took a pillow and covered his manhood with it.

"_It's okay Finn_." said Rachel, sitting on the edge of the bed with him.

"_No, it's not. You come here and you play the vixen on me and I blow it, literally_." said Finn, ashamed. _"Maybe we should watch the DVD you've brought; that way I won't totally waste your night_." Finn added, looking at the Évita DVD that was lying on the floor, avoiding Rachel's gaze.

"_First, Finn, I don't play with you_. _With you, I am me, who I want to be_. _You make me feel like a vixen Finn, only you have that effect on me_. _This is real Finn_." said Rachel, bringing Finn's hand between her breasts. "_My heart his yours, mailman or not, I accept you for who and what you are. I love you Finn_." Rachel said, kissing him slightly on the lips. "_And secondly, about the DVD, I wanted to recreate our first night, our first time together, to show you how I cherish it_!" said Rachel blushing. "_I wished that the DVD would lead to… love._" she added, taking his chin into her hand, forcing him to look at her. "_but seeing you, all of you, gorgeous you, made me lose my mind, you make me lose my mind Finn, you are my heart, my guts; you are my Argentina Finn; my country, my Home, my favourite place, who I'd give my life for.._." Rachel added as she went to kiss him on the lips.

"_Your mouth is the heaven I'd always want to touch_." Rachel said kissing him once more.

First, they kissed gently and the kiss grew and become more passionate. Then, she rose from the bed and she stood before Finn. She kissed him once more making sure he was looking at her.

"_You eyes are warm suns I feel myself burning under_. " Rachel said looking at him straight in the eyes, removing her panties.

"_Your body is a beach I want to lay on all day._" Rachel added as she snatched the pillow from his waist and forced him to lay on his back.

She laid herself on Finn and switched their position for him to be above her.

"_Finn, you are perfect to me, popular or not, mailman or not, clever or not, you are my Finn and I love you as you are_." she said, parting her legs.

"_I want you. I need you_." Rachel said, kissing Finn gently. "_And, everything is all about practice and you know just how I like everything to be perfect_." added Rachel smiling libidinously.

"_You know_ _I have never been much of a perfectionist, but I'll make an exception about this_" said Finn, smiling back at her and kissing her gently. "_Did I ever tell you that I loved you Rachel Berry_?" added Finn, caressing her cheek.

"_Yeah, but I'll never get tired to hear it_!" said Rachel, taking one of his finger and taking it into her mouth.

Feeling him getting harder and harder, he took his finger out of Rachel's mouth and kissed her passionately.

"_Forget what I said earlier in the green; this is the best surprise ever_!" said Finn between two kisses, as he looked into her eyes.

Then, Rachel put her legs around his waist and guided him into her.

The next morning, Finn and Rachel woke up together, intertwined with one another; heart, soul, mind melting in one. They kept starring at each other seeing life smiling at them through the other's features.

They hopped that life would be kinder to them now that they had found their way back into each other's arms. They knew that, as long as they loved each other; they could face the world; Finchel style's.

**THE END.**..

**I want to say thanks to every****body who read this story, hope you guys had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. I really enjoyed reading your comments, good words and encouragements during this long process. **

**I hope to be back soon with another Finchel story. If writers don't give me enough Finchel or if all I heard is true, which I despise (Finn and Quinn –fingers in the throat – just an image.) I certainly will. **

**Again, Merci**** pour tout. Thanks you support.**


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